GOD BLESS POLICE!

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MAKAYLA JANE:
GOD'S Spirit Reborn With
HIS Loving
JESUS HEart.

MAKAYLA JANE: GOD'S Spirit Reborn With HIS Loving JESUS HEart. MAKAYLA JANE: GOD'S Spirit Reborn With HIS Loving JESUS HEart. MAKAYLA JANE: GOD'S Spirit Reborn With HIS Loving JESUS HEart.

  

DATE REVIEWED: 12/2/25

TITLE:  Last of the Dogmen 

BOX OFFICE RATED: PG (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 1995 HBO Home Video / Savoy Pictures / Carolco Pictures Inc / Guild Film Distribution

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie took place in rural Montana and began with Sheriff Deegan and his deputies in the remote wilderness of the Rockies looking for three convicts who escaped the overturned bus that was on its way to the penitentiary with the prisoners. The law enforcement covered the large territory using horses in their ground search and had a police helicopter for eyes in the sky. They discovered that the convicts killed one of the guards on the bus by cutting his throat. A group of FBI agents arrived and needed one of the escapees to be brought in alive. Sheriff Deegan told his deputy Briggs to find Lewis Gates and have him track the escapees even though he and Deegan weren’t on good terms. Meanwhile at Doc’s Bar, the owner (Doc Carvey) woke up Lewis who was asleep on the bar counter after downing too many drinks the previous night. The narrator commented on the hat that Lewis wore religiously only after his wife died but never before. Lewis drove home to his trailer house, where Deputy Briggs appeared and told him about the three prisoners who escaped near Logan Pass and were headed to the Oxbow. Deegan wanted Gates to track them, but Lewis wasn’t interested. Lewis talked to Deegan over the radio, and the sheriff instructed deputy Briggs to arrest Lewis for being in violation of a leash law after Deegan made up a complaint on the spot that Lewis’s dog Zip was chasing deer again. Lewis could only get out of 15 days in jail by accepting the tracking job, so Lewis agreed and set off on horseback with Zip. The police knew the convicts were armed because guns were missing from the accident scene, so Lewis made an agreement with Deegan that he would get $4,000 per convict plus expenses. Sheriff Deegan gave Lewis a deputy badge and told him that Sears was the only man they needed brought in alive and the other two didn’t matter. It turned out that the tension between Lewis and Deegan was from the sheriff’s dead daughter who used to be the wife of Lewis. Sheriff Deegan blamed Lewis for her death even though it was an accident. Zip found the convicts trail, so Lewis followed it and found blood on the leaves of a plant. Lewis found the convicts on the second day, but he decided to wait to capture them until the next morning because he was tired. Lewis hoped to use his reward money to build a log cabin. Lewis saddled up his horse to get the outlaws while it was still dark the next morning. However, two felons were already up because they heard noises in the woods so they left the youngest convict behind and went to investigate. Madman Sears shot at someone he saw hiding in the fog, and then the ghostly figure rode past them on horseback. It spooked the other man and he ran off, and Sears tripped and dropped his gun. When he went to retrieve it, he discovered that his partner in crime was dead and bloody on the ground from a silent kill. Sears started shooting wildly in all directions but was then shot with multiple arrows. Lewis saw horses galloping away from the scene as he approached the area where he heard the gunshots. Later that morning in the daylight he and Zip found an arrow and hoofprints proving that the horses were unshod and belonged to Indians. Lewis recovered a bloody gunshot cartridge and a torn piece of inmate clothing, but no bodies so he headed back to town after four days in the woods. He went to the Canmore Courthouse, where he explained to Sheriff Deegan that he had no bodies and found only a convict shirt and blood on the ground. Lewis said knew he wouldn’t get his 12 grand because he didn’t have Sears, so he left for the bar without telling the sheriff the whole story about the arrow. Lewis studied the arrow at home and recalled from memory a close-up of the Indian pony and the painted Native American face he had seen through the fog. Lewis read the story about the convict escape in the Chronicle newspaper and also spotted a short article about Professor L.D. Sloan receiving a grant to continue studying Native American artifacts near Judith gap. Lewis drove to Big Sky University to visit L.D. at the archaeological dig site. He asked many college students where the professor was and was misdirected by all of them, so he swore at the next person he asked. She turned out to be the professor because Lewis didn’t know the old fart was a woman whose initials stood for Lillian Diane. She identified the arrow as belonging to a Cheyenne Dog soldier and explained that they were the fierce warriors of the tribe’s military band. She believed that Lewis’ arrow was a $15 souvenir and not authentic. They were interrupted because the men from the institute had arrived, so Lillian told Lewis there was nothing she could do for him. He argued that he checked with the Forest Service and there were no unshod ponies around, so the tracks couldn’t be explained. He insisted that somebody killed those men and it wasn’t another bounty hunter. Later that night, Lewis showed up at Lillian’s log cabin to talk to her again because he felt she was withholding information. She had been studying a map of the Oxbow and invited him in to discuss it further. Lewis was expecting an alcoholic drink and wasn’t pleased when Lillian gave him mineral water that was good for him. She told him about the massacre in the 1800s of Black Kettle’s tribe by the soldiers who were instructed to take off their coats before they attacked the peaceful Cheyenne village. Lillian went into detail about how two-thirds of the Indians were women and children and how the soldiers wore the uteruses of the bludgeoned pregnant women on their hats after cutting the babies out. They scalped the rest and later paraded through Denver wearing their clean coats with the body parts of the natives decorating their uniforms and horses. Lone Wolf, leader of the Dogmen, escaped the slaughter and led around twenty of the natives to safety. They were chased north through two states to Montana but were left for dead because the soldiers were deterred by a blizzard. Lewis believed that Lone Wolf and his descendants survived in the Oxbow to present day, but Lillian argued that Elvis was dead, the government wasn’t hiding UFOs and there were no Cheyenne dog soldiers living in the Oxbow. Lillian went to bed and and warned him that she walked around naked in the morning but if he wanted to sleep on the couch instead of driving three and a half hours back home he could. Lewis didn’t stay and left Lillian’s house and drove back home. The next day, Lewis visited the local Chronicle news office and looked through the newspaper archives from the 1900’s to see who mysteriously disappeared in the Oxbow. He wrote down the people’s names and dates of death, and then he found an article about a wild boy nicknamed Jacko who didn’t speak English and was captured. Lewis then went to the Pines retirement home to visit Mr. Hollis, who used to work for the Northern Pacific Railroad for 53 years and would remember Jacko. Mr. Hollis told the story of how he and Ed Valle were riding on the tracks on a repair trolley in 1935. They spotted Jacko, so they ran after him and caught him. Jacko didn’t speak English and the men realized he was an Indian, so they brought him to Sheriff Case. They nicknamed the boy Jacko because he looked scared and wide eyed so they locked him in a jail cell for the night. He escaped and the men believed he snuck out through the bars. None of the local reservations had a boy missing, so nobody knew who Jacko was or where he came from. Mr. Hollis pointed out that they were 60 miles from the nearest town and he didn’t understand how an Indian boy who didn’t speak English could survive alone. Lewis then went to Big Sky University, where Lillian gave a lecture about a group of Indian girls who were taken to a school in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. After 14 months, their hair was cut and they were given Christian names and not allowed to speak their native language. Lewis interrupted Lillian’s class and they went to her office to discuss things. She commented on his hat so he took it off. Lewis told Lillian about Jacko and explained that 17 people had disappeared in the Oxbow since the late 1890’s. He planned to return to the Oxbow for another look and wanted one of Lillian’s students who spoke Cheyenne to accompany him in case they encountered a lost tribe. Lewis needed three days to explore because they both needed to know and it concerned her career, so she agreed to send somebody with Lewis. Not long after, Lillian and her student John driving a jeep met up with Lewis, and he believed John was going with him but then John left. Lewis wasn’t happy to discover that Lillian was adamant about going on the trip because he didn’t think she could handle it. They set off on horseback through the wilderness and took a pack mule with them. Lillian didn’t care much for Lewis Gates’ wilderness stew, and he didn’t care much for her upbeat personality and was annoyed by it. The duo walked along a cliff edge with shale, and Lewis warned Lillian to watch her footing and not to go down with her horse if it slipped. Lillian slipped immediately after that but caught herself before she fell to her death. Lewis brought down a rope to help her and yelled at her for not listening because one mistake could kill her. Lewis then lost his footing and slid further down than Lillian did, so he held her legs as she grabbed the rope. Zip was trained to lead the horse, so he did so and they were pulled to safety. Lewis shod the horses and told Lillian that his wife died two years before when they were riding. She fell into the river after her horse spooked, and the current was too strong for Lewis to rescue her so she drowned. His father-in-law sheriff still blamed Lewis and wished Lewis had died too. Meanwhile, a couple of berry-pickers came across Lewis’ truck and trailer in the woods near the crime scene and told the police. They investigated the empty vehicle, and Deputy Briggs informed Sheriff Deegan that Mrs. Burton at the Chronicle told them that Lewis was at the office a few days ago looking at the old articles. Around the campfire, Lewis gave Lillian a drink of whiskey and told her to drink it because it was good for her. The next morning, Lillian had a slight hangover and wanted to go home because they had had been riding for a week and found nothing. She found a hole in her sleeping bag and Lewis said a rodent chewed it. Lillian went off about what her colleagues at the university would think of her for going into the middle of the woods to look for a lost tribe with a complete stranger. Lewis then heard the chipmunk sound that he heard the night the convicts were murdered, so he bent down to retrieve Lillian’s canteen and held it to protect his chest. An arrow was then fired at him and struck the canteen, and Lillian almost got an arrow to her head but Lewis pulled her down. They spotted movement in the trees through the trees from riders in Cheyenne attire, so Lillian started speaking the Cheyenne language and the dog soldiers came into the light and revealed themselves. Lillian told the leader Yellow Wolf that Lewis was a great warrior and would fight all of them if he had to. Zip barked at the warriors, so one of them shot him with an arrow. Lewis tried to get his gun to shoot them, but Lillian stopped him and Lewis took the arrow out of his beloved four-legged family member. The Indian soldiers confiscated Lewis’ grandfather’s knife and gave it to the leader, and then Lewis and Lillian were taken prisoner. Lillian tripped in the water and was dragged, so Lewis pulled the rope and yanked the Indian off his horse so Lillian wouldn’t drown. Lewis pulled her out of the water and demanded that Lillian get a horse, so she was given one and Lewis continued to walk and carry injured Zip. They approached a waterfall, where the soldiers dismounted their horses and walked through the cave behind the waterfall. Lillian took Zip from Lewis, and then the group emerged in a valley and arrived at the Cheyenne village. Lillian and Lewis were tied up, and she told him it was no use trying to untie the knots because the Indians predated the Boy Scouts. Lillian wasn’t sure if the natives would kill them or just welcome them into the tribe. A young Cheyenne girl then brought herbal medicine and used it to treat Zip’s wounds. She stayed with Zip while Yellow Wolf, leader of the dog soldiers and next in line to be chief, freed Lewis and Lillian from their bondage. He took them to meet with Chief Spotted Elk, the last surviving son of Lone Wolf who identified himself as Jacko. Lewis and Lillian were then put in their own hut with Zip. Meanwhile, Sheriff Deegan looked over the Chronicle archives that Lewis studied earlier. Spotted Elk later told Lewis and Lillian the story of when the soldiers came 128 years ago and his father took the survivors to safety with the help of a wolf. Another day, they went to Yellow Wolf’s tent to see his son who had been shot by convict Sears. They tried to convince Spotted Elk to let Lewis ride to get medication and save the injured man’s life because he was burning up with fever. Chief Spotted Elk refused because he didn’t want the white man’s help in case more bad things happened to them. However, Yellow Wolf woke Lillian and Lewis up in the middle of the night and gave Lewis a horse so he could get as much penicillin as possible per Lillian. Lewis knew Lillian wanted him to steal the medicine because he didn’t have a prescription, and Yellow Wolf reluctantly gave Lewis back his pistol and knife. Lewis then punched Yellow Wolf in the face for shooting Lewis’ four-legged son, Zip, with an arrow. Yellow Wolf would ride part of the way with Lewis, and before they left Lillian translated Yellow Wolf’s words that she would be killed if Lewis didn’t come back. It was narrated that Lewis knew people wouldn’t come to look for him but they would look for Lillian so he was anxious to get the medicine and return to the village. Lewis encountered a mountain lion on the way, and his horse spooked and galloped off wildly. Lewis knocked his head on a branch and was almost hit when the horse came to a stop on the road in front of a big rig logging truck. Lewis rode on to the pharmacy in broad daylight and held a gun on the pharmacist demanding penicillin. The employee man set off his silent alarm and gave Lewis the medicine, and then Lewis left with the drugs and an Indian Pez dispenser. Outside the building, Deputy Briggs held his gun on Lewis but was distracted by the appearance of the pharmacist. Lewis punched Deputy Briggs to the ground and threw away the deputy’s gun cartridge before he fled the scene on his horse. He galloped down the street with a police car in hot pursuit, and the officer ordered Lewis to stop. Lewis smashed the windshield of the patrol car with his gun and the officer’s car rammed into the back of another car. Lewis lost his hat along the way and escaped via the river when more police surrounded him. Sheriff Deegan then set up a roadblock in front of the bridge with police cars and left Lewis’ hat hanging from his car antenna. Lewis grabbed his hat as he jumped his horse over the police car roadblock and escaped into the woods. The officers then searched Lewis’ house later that night for evidence, and they found the Indian arrow and the Oxbow maps. Sheriff Deegan confiscated a picture of his daughter and Lewis inside Lewis’ house. Lewis stopped to get a drink at the stream and Yellow Wolf was waiting there. He brought Lewis back to the village where Lillian gave the young man the penicillin. Zip recovered from his wounds, and Lewis gave the little Indian girl the Pez Indian dispenser in exchange for her help. As the days passed, Yellow Wolf’s son got getter and Lewis and Lillian were happy to become members of the Cheyenne tribe. Lewis made his famous stew for the women, but they refused to eat it after one tried it and was disgusted. Yellow Wolf and his wife gave Lewis and Lillian gifts as thanks for saving their son’s life. Lillian told Lewis to find a wife and settle down since he was now a rich bachelor with many presents. Sheriff Deegan rounded up a posse of armed men on horseback because the sheriff was determined to hunt Lewis down because he didn’t think he deserved peace after Deegan’s daughter died and Lewis survived. Lewis stumbled across a hut apart from the village, where he found crates of dynamite and the belongings of the white people the natives killed when they came too close to the village. Lillian joined Lewis and explained that Spotted Elk had already brought her there and told Lewis that the Indians had every right to kill strangers to protect their way of life. They later sat around the campfire with the natives and stories, and Lillian got a laugh out of everyone when she told them that man walked on the moon. The natives were not happy to hear that the other Cheyenne lived on reservations. In the next scene, the posse arrived with a police helicopter, and the men on horses charged and killed Yellow Wolf with a bullet. They shot all the Indians with their guns and a machine gun in the helicopter. Lewis then woke up from his nightmare, and he and Lillian lay next to each in separate beds. He told her that they needed to protect the natives no matter what and not let the white men destroy them, and she agreed. The next day, an alarm went out at camp so Lewis and the others went to investigate and discovered that Sheriff Deegan and his posse were close to the waterfall. Spotted Elk wanted to leave and go further into the mountains, but Yellow Wolf disagreed and wanted to fight because there was no time to escape. Lewis offered to create a diversion at the waterfall to buy them more time. Yellow Wolf performed a ceremony to make Lewis part of the Cheyenne forever family and always have their back. Lewis was given a ceremonial feather, and Lillian told him it was custom to give a gift in return so he parted with his grandfather’s knife and gave it to Yellow Wolf. The natives quickly dismantled their homes and packed their things while Lewis saddled up Lillian’s horse. Lillian told Lewis that she wasn’t leaving and she planned to stay and make a living record of the lost tribe. It would be her work from then on because she loved the people and didn’t want to go back to the real world. Lewis wasn’t pleased, but Lillian insisted so he went to get Zip who was with the little girl. Zip refused to go, so Lewis said goodbye to his beloved dog and left his hat with the girl. She gave Lewis a big smile and said thank you to him in Cheyenne. Lewis carefully loaded the dynamite into his saddlebag, and Yellow Wolf and the others didn’t know what the explosive was and shook it. Lewis freaked out and proved that it could blow them up on the spot by taking a piece of it and throwing it at their feet. It exploded and the Indians jumped back and understood it was dangerous. Lewis and Lillian said their goodbyes and he told her not to let the natives eat his dog because she told him earlier that it was the reason they were called dog soldiers. Lewis tried to peck Lillian’s cheek as a kiss, but she wouldn’t accept it and kissed him passionately for the first time. Lewis rode off a ways but then came right back for second helpings. He then rode to the other side of the waterfall and shot at the posse from a clifftop, and they dismounted their horses and took cover. Tracker Bill came up behind Lewis and held a gun to his head, so Lewis was put in handcuffs and seated on his horse. Bill then informed Sheriff Deegan there was a cave that went through the waterfall, so the sheriff wanted to check things out and wouldn’t listen to Lewis when he warned Deegan that the men would be killed if they went beyond the waterfall. Lewis then created a distraction and stole one of the officer’s guns, which he shot off to spook the other horses. He galloped off toward the waterfall and Sheriff Deegan rode after him.They left their horses behind and Lewis ran into the cave to shoot up the dynamite. Lewis missed multiples times because his hands were cuffed in front of him, and then Sheriff Deegan appeared and held his gun on Lewis. He threatened to kill Lewis if he shot the dynamite. Lewis saw Yellow Wolf at the other end of the cave. Yellow Wolf fired an arrow at the dynamite, and Deegan got a glimpse of Yellow Wolf before he and Lewis were blasted backwards over the waterfall. The force of the explosion broke Lewis’ handcuffs and he made it to a rock, but Sheriff Deegan was struggling in the strong current. Lewis risked his life to save the sheriff and pulled him out of the river, and Sheriff Deegan was injured badly. Deputy Briggs glanced at Lewis and remembered that Lewis had apologized to him earlier for punching him outside the pharmacy, so the deputy decided they wouldn’t continue the search and they would take Sheriff Deegan back to town for medical attention. Search parties all over the Oxbow were sent after Lillian, but winter set in and nobody could find her. Lillian was happy among the Cheyenne and felt at home with them. Sheriff Deegan with his arm in a cast later visited Lewis in jail. He told Lewis that many knew Lewis was responsible for saving his (sheriff Deegan’s) life and the sheriff still wasn’t happy that Lewis couldn’t do that for his daughter. The sheriff added that nobody around town wanted Lewis to be jailed for stealing penicillin so they dropped the charges. Sheriff Deegan wouldn’t admit that he saw an Indian before the explosion, and Lewis refused to tell the sheriff what was out there in the Oxbow. After Lewis was set free from jail, he set off to find the lost tribe in the winter. Lewis located the new Indian village and reunited with the little girl, Zip and Lillian. This movie had a budget of $25 million and grossed over $7 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Siskel & Ebert, “Two thumbs up.” N.Y. Post, “A big bold, energetic outdoor adventure, well-suited for family viewing.” 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/24/25

TITLE:  The Eagle Huntress

BOX OFFICE RATED: G

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2016 Sony Pictures Classics / 19340 Productions / Artemis Rising Foundation / Impact Partners / Shine Global / Warrior Poets / Kissaki Films / Stacey Reiss Productions / Altitude Film Distribution 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 2

REASON: This documentary movie is about the nomadic tribes in the Altai Mountains of Asia that lived in the area before the time of Genghis Khan. It told how generations of fathers and sons used golden eagles to hunt and provide for their families, but was required to release the birds back into the wild after seven years of service. A Mongolian eagle hunter took a live goat to a steep mountaintop, where he sacrificed it to God. He then set his eagle free and let it feast on the fresh meat because its seven years were up. Meanwhile, a girl named Aisholpan turned 13 in May and got straight A’s at school. Her dad, Nurgaiv, on his moped picked her up from school and they returned to their home in the mountains. Aisholpan’s dad and grandpa were eagle hunters, who hunted foxes in the winter and used the fur for clothing. They also competed at festivals where Nurgaiv won many medals. Aisholpan’s mom, Almagul, knew that her daughter loved eagles as much as her dad and the teen would rather spend time with dad and the eagle verse do household and barn chores. Aisholpan hoped to be the first Mongolian eagle huntress. However, the Kazakh elders didn’t approve of her doing so because they believed that it was the tradition of the forefathers that only men could be eagle hunters. Women were not as strong and couldn’t survive the extreme cold and harsh conditions in the mountains so they should stick to female duties. Nurgaiv thought men and women were equal, but he knew his daughter would have a hard time becoming an eagle hunter and overcome the differing opinions of the village people. Nurgaiv began schooling Aisholpan in the safety skills she needed to become a successful huntress and learn how to handle a live eagle with a glove and its hooded mask as well as how to train with a dead rabbit. Aisholpan attended school in the village, where the young teen stayed in the dorm and took care of her younger and brother and sister who lived with her at the dormitory five days a week while her adult family lived off the land miles away. They got an education at boarding school and went home on the weekends. Aisholpan aspired to be a doctor when she grew up. She learned basic skills using Nurgaiv’s eagle, but she wanted to get an eagle of her own to train with. An eaglet could survive outside its nest for three days before it could fly, and it was the perfect time for Aisholpan to snatch a bird. She and Nurgaiv came upon a nest with two eaglets, so they climbed up the rocky ledge to get into a position to capture one. Nurgaiv lowered Aisholpan down the steep cliffside to the nest using a rope and then lowered the blanket so his daughter could put the female chick in it. However, the young bird kept moving out of the nest so Aisholpan lassoed it around the neck and pulled it to her. She tied the chick into the blanket and Nurgaiv pulled it back up the cliff and then helped Aisholpan back up. Nurgaiv was happy with the catch and he and Aisholpan took the baby eagle home and fed it and cared for it. They believed the chick would bring good luck to their house and they planned to start it training at once and later take it to the eagle festival. Everyone crowded into the dorm at school and questioned Aisholpan about her eagle hunting escapade, and the other girls wanted to be eagle hunters too even though they were afraid of the large birds. Nurgaiv got the blessing from his dad (grandpa) to train Aisholpan during his visit. Grandpa then called Aisholpan to come out of the hut and he said a prayer to God in hopes she would be successful in her endeavor. The elders explained that it took commitment to gain the trust of the eagle and work with it, so the task was only for skilled warriors with patience. The nomads lived in gers in the warm months and in regular houses in the cold months. Aisholpan’s and her family packed up their belongings and dismantled their ger and made the move to their winter home from their ger using a large dump truck. Dad and daughter worked to strengthen the bond between Aisholpan and her eagle in preparation for the eagle festival. Nurgaiv picked Aisholpan up from school early to train because she would represent their tribe at the festival and must be well educated. The judges scored on the eagle’s landing and flying style as well as the horse-riding style during the timed event. Aisholpan practiced calling the bird to her and releasing it from varying distances. Aisholpan and her little sister painted each other’s nails pink and purple for the festival the next day, although it would only be dad and Aisholpan attending. She told her sister that she would be the only girl there and all her competitors would be older men. Almagul helped her daughter dress for the occasion and wished her safety and wellbeing. Aisholpan and her dad then left in the name of God on their ponies that carried them with their 15-pound birds on their arms for many miles to the competition. They began their journey to the festival in the capital city of Ulgii in the foothills of the Altai Mountains. It was rare for the family to leave their mountain home, so Nurgaiv was proud of Aisholpan for doing something that was outside her gender. Around seventy tribes competed in the festival and made their way to the natural arena called Sayak Tobi. Aisholpan’s arrival was unannounced so the proud men couldn’t protest her presence. The festival began with the four officials judging the participants’ outfits, horses and accessories as they trotted around with eagles in hand. Nurgaiv took Aisholpan’s hat off her head to adjust it prior to her taking the ring, and the judges then were surprised to see she was a girl. She received two tens and two eights for her performancewhile her dad had four tens. In the next event, they used an animal skin to measure the speed of the eagles catching it. Some of the birds missed the moving prey and scored low. Nurgaiv released the eagle from the clifftop as Aisholpan dragged the animal skin behind her horse in the ring so her bird could grab it. The crowd and judges were pleased with Aisholpan and the eagle’s performance so she received four tens. The next event featured the hunters on horseback calling their eagles to their gloved hands from afar using meat in their hands as a treat. Nurgaiv was worried that the crowd would distract his daughter as she was announced as the youngest hunter and the first ever-female competitor. As it turned out, Aisholpan’s and her eagle had a record time and her eagle was the only one to fly to her hand in five seconds. Aisholpan’s bird broke the record for speed, so the photographers took pictures of huntress and bird, and everyone was impressed because the feat required amazing talent and strength. Nurgaiv was very proud and gave Aisholpan a new hat. Third place went to Nurbolat Tana, second place went to Orazkhan and first place at the previously all male event went to female Aisholpan who was happy to have received a medal and trophy. The elders got wind of a 13-year-old girl besting the men at the eagle festival, but they were still skeptical that Aisholpan could hunt in the mountains as the men did in the snow and storms. The elders declared that Aisholpan would be a real eagle hunter if she could survive in the mountains during the winter. Nurgaiv stated that not everybody accepted his daughter’s accomplishment and those that didn’t were probably jealous. To prove she was a true eagle hunter, Aisholpan wanted to go winter hunting like the men did and Nurgaiv agreed to take her deeper into the mountains to make certain she could achieve her goal (but not without the help of her dad). They put shoes on their horses and traveled 150 kilometers (about 93 miles miles) to a village on the Mongolian border with China so they could gain wisdom from a master hunter named Dalaikhan. He cautioned Nurgaiv to take care of his daughter because she was vulnerable and a lot of men were struggling in the harsh winter weather. Nurgaiv and Aisholpan bundled up in furs and set off for the mountains on horseback with their eagles in -40 degree temperatures. They arrived during the first snowfall called Kansonar and knew it might take weeks to find a fox. They rode across sheets of ice and cliff tops that horses could easily fall from if they lost their step, and they broke up the ice so the horses could drink the water. Nurgaiv and Aisholpan searched for fox by day and returned to the village at night for shelter and they would continue their hunt until Aisholpan proved herself a master eagle huntress by catching a fox with her dad’s help. They found a fox, so Nurgaiv ditched his eagle and galloped after the fox so it would not get away. Aisholpan removed her eagle’s hood mask and released it, but the bird failed to catch the fox and it escaped. Nurgaiv found another fox and chased it toward Aisholpan, who set her eagle free to go after the fox. The bird flew right over the next fox instead and let it go. Nurgaiv and Aisholpan moved to another mountain, where he dismounted and led his horse through the heavy snow that he almost got him and the horse stuck in. Aisholpan had a hard time getting her horse across while holding her eagle on foot. Aisholpan’s eagle finally killed a fox on its third try so Aisholpan was deemed an Eagle huntress (with her parent’s help). They took the fox home to mom so she (Almagul) could make a new coat for Aisholpan. This film is the winner of several awards at film festivals and is the critics’ pick for The New York Times and Los Angeles Times. It grossed over $4 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Kenneth Turan, Los Angeles Times, “An enchanting tale of girl power.” Melissa Silverstein, Indiewire, “One of the most beautifully shot movies I have ever seen.” The movie cover art listed, “A spellbinding true story about a 13-year-old girl on an epic journey.”

 
 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/19/25

TITLE:  Bend It Like Beckham 

BOX OFFICE RATED: PG-13 (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2001 / 2002 20th Century Fox / Fox Searchlight Pictures / Kintop Pictures / The Film Council / Filmfoerderung Hamburg / BskyB / British Screen / Helkon SK, The Works, Future Film Financing / Bend It Films / Roc Media / Road Movies / Film Produktion/ Highlight Films 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: The movie took place in London, England, and began with 18-year-old Jesminder “Jess” Kaur Bhamra, a member of a Punjabi Sikh British-Indian family, watching a football (soccer) game on TV. Her idol #7 David Beckham played with his team Manchester United.Jess dreamed that she was the star player alongside him. The fake news announced that Jess would be the one to help England win the World Cup, and then Jess’s mom Mrs. Bhamra appeared in the news studio with the announcers and broadcast that she didn’t approve of Jess playing football with men showing off her legs. Jess snapped out of it when her mom entered her room and told her to stop daydreaming about skinhead Beckham and get ready for her older sister Pinky’s upcoming wedding. The sisters went shopping last-minute at expensive stores for Pinky’s dowry dress, while Juliette “Jules” Paxton and her mom Paula went shopping for cleavage inserts because Jules was flat chested and with her hair cut short looked more super skinny boyish. Pinky stayed in the city while Jess walked home with the food their mom requested. In the park, her friend Tony recruited Jess to help his football team win a game. Jules watched Jess play with the boys and was impressed by her ball skills. Later on, Jess talked to her Beckham poster in her room and wished for an arranged marriage so her husband would allow her to play men’s football whenever she wanted. Mr. Bhamra visited his daughter in her room, after getting home from his Heathrow Airport job. Dad was concerned Jess was talking to herself and spent too much staring at the bald man. He informed Jess that Biji and her grandson were coming for the wedding and would be staying with them. Jess handed out food at one of the many parties leading up to the wedding, and the female guests commented that she would be next to marry and they hoped it was one of their Indian men because they wore turbans and were better endowed. Jess played football in the park with the boys again. Jules was there again and introduced herself and invited Jess to tryouts for her team the Hounslow Harriers. Another day, coach Joe let Jess try out and saw how well she played with Jules, so he let her join the team. Joe left to open the pub, and Jules told Jess that Joe liked Jess. British Jules wanted to play professional football, but she could only play professional soccer in America because they had pro leagues and new stadiums for women. Jess thought Jules’ parents were great for letting her to go to America to play soccer and wasn’t sure how she would break the news to her parents that she was playing for the Harriers. Jules and her dad Alan Paxton played football in the backyard around Paula’s flowers. She was upset and told Jules there was a reason why Sporty Spice didn’t have a man like the others (implying she was a lesbian) and Paula didn’t want her daughter to turn out like that. Jess went to her first practice and Joe gave her a uniform, and she swore when she found out she had to wear shorts and not pants. She explained to Joe in the stands away from the female teammates already on the field that she didn’t want to wear shorts because she had a burn injury on her thigh that she got when she was eight years old and her mom was working outside the home. She recalled how she pulled down the hot beans and toast off the grill as eldest sis wasn’t looking after her very well, and then her pants caught fire and burned her upper thigh. Pinky put Jess in the bathtub with cold water, and Jess’ skin came off and that left a terrible scar that was now visible in the shorts she wore. Joe showed Jess his knee large scar, that prevented him from playing pro football, but Jess’ scar didn’t limit her so Joe convinced her to practice with the team. Mrs. Bhamra caught Jess playing around with the men in the park wearing her shorts and dragged her home where mom chewed Jess out and told her that she couldn’t play football anymore because she was a disgrace to her family and would end up divorced like her dad’s niece, who married a blue-haired man and wore super short skirts at her fashion designer job. Dad agreed with mom that Jess should learn how to cook and be a proper young lady. Jess talked to Tony about it at the park, and her friend advised her to go behind her parents’ backs and play ball in secret. Jess didn’t think it was fair that her parents didn’t care about eldest sister Pinkie hanging out with her friends who wore tight clothes and showed their cleavage and talked trashy. Jules joined them and told Jess that her mom didn’t approve of her playing either. She mentioned that Joe was inviting an American Scout to England to watch the Harriers play. Jules also advised Jess to sneak around and tell her parents that she got a summer job at H.M.V. Jess agreed and left the house often to train with the team by hiding her uniform bag outside in the bushes. Jules’ dad got her a soccer net cutout to play with the in their backyard. Mrs. Bhamra taught Jess how to cook aloo gobi. Pinky also worked at the airport and took a call from her mom as she had sex with her fiancé Teetu (a mechanic) in the back of her car in the airport parking lot. One day at practice in the locker room, Jess told the other girls what it was like to be Indian and get married with her parents’ strict rules. Her Indian parents frowned upon marrying whites, blacks and Muslims and she could only marry a fellow Indian. Jess went home, where her mom told her that Pinky was supposed to pick her up from work but obviously didn’t. Soon after big sis Pinky arrived home and she covered for little sis and lied to their mom who walked out of the room. Pinky then wanted to know who Jess’ boyfriend was because she knew Jess wasn’t working at all. Pinky was worried that he was Muslim, so Jess explained that she was playing football. Pinky thought that worse than sneaking around and encouraged her little sister to wear makeup and find a guy. Jess told her mom that she needed money for some dress shoes, and then Jess and Jules went shopping in the city and Jess bought new Adidas cleats. When Jess got home, Pinky grabbed her shopping bag and showed their parents that Jess got cleats along with a pair of flat black shoes that mom didn’t approve of because they were flats. Jess explained that she smelled like smoke because she and Jules stopped at a pub but she didn’t smoke or drink. Jess got in trouble with Joe for talking during practice so he made her run five more laps. She twisted her ankle, so Joe rubbed her feet and told her that his dad was his coach. He called his dad a bastard and blamed him for his own injury because he pushed Joe too hard to be his best. Jules stole a pair of her mom’s (Paula Paxton) black heel shoes and gave them to Jess wear to wear at her sister’s wedding and Jules hid them in her bag when Paula came into the bedroom. Paula was shocked to learn that Jules knew Jess from playing football. The girls later laughed about it on the street and holding on to each other in an intimate way, and Teetu’s parents drove by and recognized Jess. Jess asked Jules if she was with Joe, but she said no because coach Joe would get fired for dating one of his players. Jess arrived back home, where Teetu’s parents were just leaving after telling Jess’ parents that they saw Jess kissing a white boy near the bus stop. Pinky’s wedding was called off as a result, but Jess clarified that she was with her gal pal Jules and they weren’t kissing. The parents realized it was a mistake because some English girls had hair as short as the boys, and they knew the groom’s family didn’t like them anyway and were looking for an out. Pinky was very upset and big sis told her parents then that Jess was probably a lesbian because she had been lying to them all along about playing football on the girls’ team. Mrs. Bhamra was upset with both of her daughters and called Pinky out for sneaking around with Teetu behind her back. Jess’ parents took the wedding decorations down, and Pinky talked to Teetu about changing his parents’ mind. Jess missed two practice sessions, and Joe asked Jules what was up. Jules lied that she told Jess to tell her parents she was on the team, but Jess wouldn’t so they probably found out. Joe then showed up at Jess’ house, where he apologized to Jess’ parents because he didn’t know Jess had lied to them. Joe believed Jess had potential and should play football, but Mr. Bhamra argued that Jess was going to university. Mr. Bhamra explained that when he was a teen in Nairobi, he was the best fastballer in school and his team won the East African Cup. When he moved to England, he wasn’t allowed to play in any sports because the gorehs (white people) mocked his turban and kicked him out. Jess pointed out that Nasser Hussein played on the British cricket team, and Mrs. Bhamra corrected her daughter that Hussein was Muslim and was different from Indian. Jess walked Joe out of the house, and he told her that the Harriers were invited to play in Germany. Joe told Jess he knew she had a big battle with her parents and he believed they didn’t know what was best for her because she wanted to play football. As the female British football team was leaving in their van for the airport, Pinky dropped Jess off and she explained to Joe that her sister was covering for her and would tell their parents they were staying with her cousins. The Harriers took a plane to Hamburg, Germany, and did some sightseeing before the game. Jess had a penalty kick at the end of the game, and the goalie caught the ball so the other team won. Jess later talked to her mom on her cell phone and made it believable that she and Pinky were at their cousins’ house. Mom hoped Pinky would meet a new man and told her husband that the girls were having a good time cooking. However, dad had just read the story in the newspaper that the Harriers were headed to Hamburg so he told his wife to phone his daughter back as he wanted to speak to Jess. The Harrier team planned to go clubbing with Joe that night, but Jess didn’t have anything to wear so Jules called Mel for help. The girls dressed sexy with Jules in a revealing backless halter top and super low-rise jeans and Jess in a black dress. Jess told Joe she was sorry about losing the penalty kick but he assured her it was fine. Joe danced with Jess and Jules, but Jess went outside wobbling because of the smoke and crowded building. Joe left Jules on the dance floor to follow Jess, and Jules caught the two just as they were about to kiss so she called Jess a bit** and ran back inside. The team flew back to London, where Jules stormed off and refused to talk to Jess. Jess’ parents and sister were waiting for her and she left with them. Jess and Pinky cooked on the stove together as their parents had a private discussion. Mrs. Bhamra couldn’t understand what was wrong with the girls because they bought Pinky a car and Jessie a computer, music center and TV. Jess talked to Pinkie, who believed Teets was her soul mate and she told Jess she could marry whoever she wanted but her little Indian sister would be stared at for the rest of their life if she married a white Irish man like Joe. Pinkie recommended that Jess date Tony instead. Jules threw a picture of her and coach Joe in the trash and was upset that they would never be together because Joe liked Jess. Jess stopped by the pub and talked to Joe, who told her that two men that just left were considering him as an assistant coach for the men’s team next year. Jess told Joe that she couldn’t stop talking to her parents like he did his and suggested that Joe’s dad might be proud of him for still being involved in football and helping the girls. Joe advised Jess not to give up her dream or let her parents run her. Jess visited Jules where she was in bed sulking and Mrs. Paxton didn’t know there was a problem between the girls and didn’t overhear that Jules was in love with Joe and Jess kissed him. Jules didn’t want anything to do with Jess, so she ran out of the house in tears. Paula then cried about it in Alan’s arms and explained that Jules was depressed when she returned from Germany because she lost her love and not because she lost the game. However, Paula heard wrong and told Alan that their daughter was a lesbian and she was in love with another girl. Paula added that it was terrible what happened to George Michael with his private matters being exposed in the newspapers. Jess tried to ask Tony out, and he thought she was being weird so she explained that she nearly kissed her coach in Germany. Tony then confessed that he couldn’t be Jess’s boyfriend because he was gay and he liked Beckham romantically as much as she did. Jess couldn’t believe Tony was a gay Indian but they agreed to keep each other’s secrets. Jess’s family went out, and Jess pretended to be sick and Pinky warned her that she couldn’t keep their parents at the temple all day. Jess donned her uniform and ran off to the game, but dad forgot something and went back to the house. He yelled up to Jess, but she never answered so Dad realized that Jess lied again and he attended the game. The team suffered because Jess and Jules were still mad at each other and took it out on the game, but then they started playing together. One of the opponents knocked Jess to the ground and called her a Paki, so Jess fought back and pushed the other girl around. Mr. Bhamra wasn’t pleased to see the ref call violent contact on Jess and put her on the sidelines. Joe chewed Jess out afterward for being mean. Jess ran after Joe and was mad that he yelled at her in front of everyone. Coach Joe told Jess that he was Irish and he knew what it felt like to be called names. Mr. Bhamra found the two hugging behind the building and retrieved his daughter and on the way home he and Jess agreed to keep the football their little secret.  Back at the house, Teetu’s parents were there with a change of heart and were having another meeting about the wedding. Pinky eavesdropped from the stairs and called her future mother-in-law a fat cow, but she was happy when Teetu’s parents left and the wedding was back on. They arranged for the wedding to take place at the hall on the 25th, and since it was the only date available dad told Jess that her sister was more important than her game. Meanwhile, Jules went to see Joe at the pub. She was angry with him for lying about the American scout, but then Joe revealed that the scout saw Jules in Germany and was coming to the finals to watch her play. Jules then showed up at Jess’s house, where Jess explained that her dad wouldn’t talk to her and she couldn’t get away to play the finals on Pinky’s wedding day. She was mad at Jules because she believed the only reason Jules showed up was because she needed Jess to help her look good for the American scout. Jules argued that she was there because Joe was worried about Jess, so Jules stormed out. She went home, where Paula was learning from Alan the ins and outs of soccer because Paula didn’t want to lose Jules. Mrs. Paxton now wanted to create a football/soccer family, and Jules and Allan was happy about it. One day, Mrs. Bhamra prayed for good news so Jess told her mom to hurry up with her prayer and open the mail because she wanted to see the results of her exam. Jess’s parents were happy that she got a high score of BLLB, good solicitor.Jules told Joe that Jess couldn’t make it to the game, so coach Joe replaced Jess with Mel and trained her to take Jess’ position. Jess took down all the Beckham posters in her room, and dad realized that Jess was giving up her dream. Jules practiced overtime with Joe and the team in preparation for the scout’s arrival. Jess’ heart wasn’t in attending the family wedding formalities and parties before the wedding or preparing the food. Mr. Bhamra caught Joe spying outside his home on the indoor Indian festivities from the window, and Joe explained that an American scout was coming the following day and it was Jess’ one chance to become a pro. Joe didn’t want to hear it and walked back inside and told his daughter Jess not to mess up her future. Jess ran after Joe and the coach told her that the American scout was interested in both her and Jules. He was happy that Jess was going to university and didn’t want to interfere in her family. Joe respected what Mr. Bhamra said, but he didn’t believe it was Jess’ destiny and hoped she would make the right choice that was in her heart by going to the finals. Joe was happy when he found out that Jess wasn’t promised to any of the men inside at the party. On the big day, Jess made it all the way through to the wedding reception, but Tony took her aside and told her she could still make the second half of the game if she left now. Mr. Bhamra overheard and gave Jess his blessing to play, so she and Tony hurried off. She changed in the car and upon arrival coach Joe put her in the game. Mrs. Bhamra later went looking for missing Jess in the bathroom and found a couple making out there. At the game, Jess got another penalty kick again after the opposing team player committed a foul play, and she imagined her Indian family in front of her dressed for the wedding and she felt guilty about leaving. As it turned out, the goalie missed her kicked ball, so Jess scored. Jess and her British teammates won the game with the help of coach Joe. Right after, the other girls helped Jess dress up in her brightly pink colored dress again. The Paxtons watched outside the locker room when Jules and Jess came out to meet the American scout with Joe.After the men left, the two females hugged each other and kissed on the lips because they were no doubt happy that they got picked to play on an American female soccer team. The Paxton parents thought their daughter was definitely a lesbian then. On the way home, Jules was ecstatic and told her parents that she and Jess would play for one of the best teams in Santa Clara, California, with a full scholarship. However, they were too shocked and were still trying to process Jules’ lesbian behavior. Paula later had a meltdown because she believed that she raised a lesbian daughter. Jules came downstairs in pants and planned to meet Jess at the wedding ceremony, so Paula decided to drive Jules there. Jess made it back to the hall and danced with her family, and a fight broke out over the two people having sex in the bathroom. As the wedding procession made its way outside and Pinky was about to get into her wedding car, the Paxtons arrived. Mrs. Paxton walked up and confronted Jess in front of everyone about kissing Jules in public, and then Paula noticed her stolen shoes and told Jess to take them off her lesbian feet. Jules dragged her mom away, and Pinky pulled Jess into the car and questioned why they thought she was a lesbian. Jess told Pinky about her American deal, and Pinky argued that their dad wouldn’t approve unless Jess got married first. Paula was in tears in the car on the way home, and Jules explained that her clothing didn’t make her a lesbian and both she and Jess had a crush on coach Joe. Paula was happy that her daughter liked men and Jules added that being a lesbian wasn’t bad anyway and Mrs. Paxton agreed but didn’t want Jules being one and she cheered for Martina Navratilova. After the hoopla was over, the elders gossiped at the Bhamra house about how English people had issues when Indian people had parties and how the questionable Paxtons took Jess’ shoes not knowing the two teen girls stole the shoes in the first place. Jess told Tony in the other room that she had to tell everyone what really happened, so gay Tony took Jess in the other room and announced that they wanted the elders’ blessing so they could get engaged with the condition that they needed to let Jess go to whatever college she wanted. Mr. Bhamra happily agreed not knowing it was a farce and Jess was headed to America. However, Jess spoke up and corrected that Tony was lying and they weren’t getting married. She decided to tell the truth and explained that Guru Nanak must have blessed her because her team won the game and it was the happiest she had been. Mom was upset that her husband let Jess leave the wedding to play football, and dad argued that he did it because it made Jess happy. He explained that when the bloody English wouldn’t let him play cricket with his turban hat, so he decided not to play anymore but he wouldn’t let his daughter go through that because he wanted her to fight and win and not suffer like he did since he saw her play and knew she could be an athlete. He gave Jess his blessing to go to America on a full scholarship and attend a prestigious university. Mom added that she taught Jess how to cook an Indian dinner so she would leave the rest up to God. Jess left the house and ran to Joe who was on the field, and she was excited that she could go to America. They hugged and she apologized for it, but he told her that he was no longer her coach so she could do what she wanted. Joe tried to kiss Jess, but she stopped him and told him that she couldn’t explain him to her parents and they were already beside themselves about her moving to America. Joe realized that starting a relationship was pointless since the pond would separate them. The families saw their daughters off at the British airport. The Paxtons gave daughter Jules a new jersey. Mrs. Bhamra told Jess to phone her relatives in Canada once she landed in USA since the Canadian relatives were their closest family. Joe appeared and told Jess that he turned down the job to coach the men’s team because he planned to turn the women’s team pro the following year. He even told his dad about it and hoped to sign Jess up for his team so she could return to England if he could afford her. Jess and Joe kissed as everyone was distracted by the appearance of Beckham and his wife Victoria at the airport. Jess didn’t really care to see Beckham and kept kissing Joe.  Before she left, they both agreed to talk to her parents about their relationship when she came back to England for Christmas. The families were later sent presents and pictures of Jess and Jules with their new Santa Clara California team. Pinky was very pregnant and Mr. Bhamra started playing cricket in the park with coach Joe. This movie had a budget of $5.6 million and grossed over $76 million at the box office.The movie cover art listed, Leah Rozen, People, “A winner! Hugely enjoyable!” Ebert & Roeper, “A wonderful film! Two thumbs up!” Chicago Sun-Times, “Makes you feel good and laugh out loud.” Time Magazine, “‘Bend It Like Beckham’ scores!” This movie was released surrounding 9/11.

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/16/25

TITLE:  Let There Be Light 

BOX OFFICE RATED: PG-13

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2017  LTBL Productions / Viva Pictures / Atlas Distribution Company / Wild Fire Films

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 2

REASON: The movie began with a debate between religious Dr. Fornier and Dr. Solomon Harkens about Darwinism vs. the God that created Miley Cyrus. Dr. Fornier was religious and he wanted people to return to the faith, but Sol was an atheist and he wanted to silence Dr. Fornier and the Christians Fornier represented. Sol also was there to promote his new book called “Aborting God: The Reasoned Choice” (his apartment walls decorated with other books such as Hercules and The God Virus Common Sense To Cure The World).He got the crowd involved in his ungodly belief that life was better with sex, drugs and rock n’ roll instead of God. Sol (Saul/Paul) declared that anyone from kings, paupers to poets could be atheists and compared the Christian God to the ISIS God. He believed that both gods were smoking marijuana except one was hookah and the other was a joint. Fornier quoted John 3:16 and explained that his was a God of love and forgiveness. Sol sat on the stage and told a personal story about how he watched his only begotten son Davey die slowly and painfully from cancer at age 8. He refused to pray to the God who took his son from him, and instead he got through his loss with alcohol so he wouldn’t shoot himself. The crowd cheered when Sol announced that the Christian God could kill Jesus all he wanted but he should have left Sol’s son alone. Sol claimed that the ungodly ones never caused genocide, so his motto was to “party on.” He added that God wasn’t needed to be moral or know the difference between right and wrongbecause all people needed was their humanity. Sol received a standing ovation for his speech and the debate ended with no further response from Fornier. Sol went home to his dark apartment that night and drank alone and deemed that living the good life. The next day, Sol drove to his ex-wife Katy’s house in the suburbs of Connecticut to pick up their two sons Gus and Connor. Sol reminded Katy that his career of trashing God was what paid the alimony checks. He refused to listen to Katy when she told him that his non-belief was negatively affecting the boys because they believed in God and knew their little brother Davey was in heaven even though Sol told them otherwise. Sol argued that Katy was brainwashing the kids, and she told him that he was the reason for their divorce because he dealt with his feelings with drugs and alcohol. Sol had planned to take Gus and Connor to the amusement park, but Connor wanted to go to Kyle’s birthday party instead. Connor’s older brother Gus decided to stay home, so Katy took Connor to Kyle’s party while Sol and Gus went to play basketball. Gus asked Sol to sign a permission slip so Gus and his church group could go to Haiti and dig a water system for the locals. Sol didn’t sign the slip because he didn’t want Gus going out of the country and he believed the Haitians should dig their own holes. That night, Sol returned to the city for his book signing at a fancy venue. His Russian girlfriend Vanessa Biechevskayo wasn’t impressed that he was drinking excessively and couldn’t even remember her name when Sol’s friends showed up to congratulate him on massacring the Christians at the debate. Vanessa introduced herself to Sol’s agent Norman Manchester and his publicist Tracee and Vanessa explained that she was leaving after the party to do a photo-shoot in the Bahamas. Vanessa mingled, and Tracee told Sol that she might have convinced Diane Sawyer to do an interview with him because the ISIS-Christian church comparison was a hot topic. Norm suggested they create a T-shirt with the phrase “ISIS=Church,” and announced that Sol’s books were selling off the shelves, Sol continued downing Hedon Harkenist drinks, and then he left with Vanessa and they were bombarded by the paparazzi. Vanessa refused to get into a car with Sol because he was drunk, so she took a limo to the airport and told Sol they might hook up and go to the Hamptons like he suggested when she returned from the Bahamas. Sol drove off and took a phone call from Norm who was still at the party and ordered the same drink that Sol had at the bar. Sol drank heavily as he drove, and Norm recognized he was wasted and advised Sol to drive carefully. Norm wanted to hook up with one of Vanessa’s relatives even though he acted gay. He told Sol to call him when he got home, and Sol was distracted by the call, heavily inebriated and crashed into a construction site. Sol found himself in a tunnel with memories of his dead son Davey floating around him. There was darkness at one end of the tunnel and light at the other end, where Davey appeared to him as an angel. They hugged and Sol told his son that he loved him. Davey informed Sol that it wasn’t his time and he had to go back. Davey said, “Let there be light,” and then sent Sol back to his life where he woke up at the hospital. The paparazzi showed up at the hospital and asked Norm and Tracee if Sol was dead or drunk, and they lied about his sobriety and said he rarely drank over his limit. Dr. Shell told Sol that he had a concussion and a blood clot in his brain that could cause a stroke if it burst, but he could fully recover if he was careful. Shell wanted to keep him another night for observation and rest, but Sol wanted to go home and agreed to not drink alcohol. Dr. Shell added that it was a miracle Sol survived because he was clinically dead for four minutes. Norm and Tracee made it to Sol’s bedside, and they didn’t want to hear that Sol saw his dead son Davey after the accident. They believed Sol was hallucinating and wanted to keep the incident quiet because it would ruin his book sales if he changed his mind about God. Katy arrived alone leaving her sons at home because she was still on her ex husband’s hospital notify list, and she wasn’t pleased that Sol was driving drunk. Norm argued that there was no police report and lied to Katy that Sol only had one drink at the party and lost control of his car on the slick road. Tracee then published the false press release story from her phone inside the hospital room.  Sol told Katy not to argue with him in case his blood clot exploded and killed him. Norm and Tracee still wanted Sol to do interviews so he could be the next Bill Maher, and Norm told Sol that he could tell everyone he crossed over and there was nothing there even though he saw Davey. Norm signed Sol out of the hospital and took him out in a wheelchair, and Tracee warned Sol about the reporters waiting for them. Katy didn’t know about Sol’s near-death experience and didn’t like Sol’s controlling so-called atheist friends telling Sol what to do. Katy told Sol that “party on” was the cause of their problems and his health issues, and he needed to get his life in order and not die because the boys needed a dad. Norm and Tracee told Sol they didn’t want Katy around, so she told Sol that she no longer had to be around his circus, so she waited in the hospital until Sol left and the crazy circus was over with the press. The mob of reporters questioned Sol if he saw God on the other side, and Norm and Tracee informed them that Sol just had a bump on the head and the crowd could get updates on AbortingGod.com. Afterward the security kicked the reporters out of the hospital. Once Sol was dropped off at his home he and was left alone, he went inside and drank heavily. He played games and watched the news report about his near-death experience and how Vanessa dumped him and was in love with her Bahamas photographer Brad Steele. The next morning, Zachary the doorman let Tracee go up to Sol’s apartment and wake him up. She was making plans for Sol’s upcoming audition for a cable talk show with a teleprompter in case he couldn’t handle the pressure. Sol wanted to drink vodka early in the morning like the people in London do, and then Tracee found Sol’s two bottles of hard liquor in the sink. Soon after, Sol appeared before a large audience and joked about the atheist Mark Twain. He had a hard time lying to everyone that he saw no angels or heavenly gates when he was dead for four minutes following the teleprompter. He looked at Katy in the audience and knew she believed in God, so he told her that he saw their son Davey when he was dead. Sol then collapsed, so Katy rushed to him and had someone call 911. Sol ended up back at the hospital, where he met female Dr. Patel the neurologist who was a big fan of Dr. Sol’s ISIS book. She told him and Katy the good news that he just had a panic attack and advised him not to do anything stressful because the clot hadn’t moved. Dr. Patel explained that Sol’s out-of-body experience was not a heavenly experience but in fact the Death Surge, an increase in brain activity that caused him to imagine fairytale things. Before she left, Dr. Patel asked for a selfie with the Christian God-hater. Katy took Sol home, and he told her that he knew it wasn’t a hallucination because he had done hard drugs before and seeing Davey was different. Sol needed to rest, so Katy left to pick up Connor and told Sol she would be back the following night to discuss what happened with Davey. Before Katy left the house the next night to see Sol, her eldest son Gus warned her about being around Sol because he didn’t care about them and was just using them. Katy argued that she wasn’t dating Sol and she was just trying to help their dad through his serious challenges. Katy arrived to find Sol drunk on painkillers and vodka with boxes everywhere, and he explained that in his drunken stupor he ordered cases of Wipe Wowies and Miracle Mops that he saw on TV. Sol quoted Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew about Bonny Kate and marriage, but Katy glared at him and poured the rest of his vodka down the drain because he compared her to the shrew. Katy planned to leave and told Sol to talk to his highly paid shrink, but he didn’t want to because she was the only one who could understand his connection with Davey. Sol told Katy about Davey’s advice to “Let there be light,” and he didn’t know what to do with it so she suggested that Sol talk to her pastor. Sol couldn’t sleep, so Katy offered to hold him while he slept in her lap since she made it clear she wouldn’t have sex with him. The next morning, Sol awoke and Katy was gone. Norm called Sol to tell that he set up a no-cameras interview with Cat Ryerson from NY Style Magazine to sell books since collapsing on the floor in front of the crowd didn’t do that. Sol said he would think about it and tossed his phone aside, but Norm objected that thinking was his job and to get ready. Norm and Cat arrived an hour later and discovered that Sol’s apartment was not squeaky clean and had bottles and food in sight. Cat questioned Norm about his experience with death, but he didn’t want to answer and was getting stressed so he ended the interview. Cat got ticked off with Norm and told him that she canceled an interview with Keith Richards to talk to Sol, so she would have nothing to do with Norm in the future. He offered to take her to lunch but Cat argued that wouldn’t cut it and he owed her more. Norm told Sol off that he couldn’t sell a $30 book when he couldn’t complete an interview or say he didn’t believe in Aborting God anymore. Later on, Sol sat by the waterfront to think and then decided to visit Katy’s church. He met Pastor Vinny as the man of God painted a fence around the building. He discovered that Vinny used to be a mobster and an ex-con from a federal prison in California. He spent three of his ten years in solitary confinement, and he was given a Sony Walkman and a Bible. Vinny explained that he became a believer because Jesus’ body disappeared from the tomb and was never found. The fact that Jesus resurrected was a miracle and would convert thousands of people to Christianity, which the Romans didn’t want. Vinny knew what the Romans (like Vinny’s Italian mob gang) were about because they burned and crucified people to get the truth out of them but nobody would say where the body was. The disciples didn’t have anything to rat out and all died knowing that Jesus was resurrected. Katy had already told pastor Vinny about Sol’s experience, so he knew all about the Wowies and Davey’s word to Sol. Vinny told Sol that Sol had experienced the love and peace of Jesus when he was with Davey in the light of God. Vinny went on to say that Jesus brings his light to the world on Christmas during the darkest part of the year. He spoke of the evil in the world where people were getting burned and murdered, and ISIS was a demon cult clothed in black. Pastor Vinny explained that Davey was trying to tell his dad that the love of Jesus must be spread throughout the world and not the darkness of hatred and Satan like what Sol was about. Vinny brought atheist Sol to tears when he told him the truth that God showed HIS mercy and let Sol see his son Davey so he would have a come-to-Jesus moment and help everyone else know Jesus. Vinny’s words got through to Sol, and almost immediately Sol was baptized in the creek outside the church with Katy and their sons present. Gus cautioned Katy to take things day-to-day with Sol so Sol wouldn’t hurt her again. They all went to Katy’s house, where Gus called Sol out on deserting Katy and the boys after he took marriage vows. Gus asked Sol how he knew it was a transformation and not his imagination concerning his newfound Christian belief. Sol called everyone together and apologized to his family for trashing their faith in the past and not trying to accept it. Gus thought it seemed like Davey saved his dad’s soul. Sol agreed, and it was said that Davey’s words were meant for Sol to spread the light and love of Jesus to the world. Back at his apartment, Sol met with Cat Ryerson with NY Style Magazine (another interview) and Norm to tell them that he was changed and now believed in God. He explained that the letters LTBL changed his life, and Cat thought they stood for lesbian, trans and bisexual but Sol clarified that it stood for, “Let there be light.”Cat wrapped up the interview and planned to write the story that the author of “Aborting God,” had been saved by Jesus Christ. Cat left, and the dandy Norm fired Sol because he believed Sol was a failure for following Jesus and he would no longer represent Sol. Norm admitted that he put up with Sol’s crazy behavior only to make money, but now that Sol was a Christian they could never be friends and they never were. Norm declared that Sol’s Jesus belief was toxic and butchered his career, so Norm wished he had died in the car accident and was dead to Norm who preferred Sol when he was drunk. Katy arrived and suggested that they recruit people around the world to shine their flashlights at the sky and use an app on their cell phones to synchronize the lights. NASA would record it with satellites and global churches would be involved, so they were lighting the world with God versus ISIS darkening it with death. The app included a feature where people could donate to their local food bank by text. Sol asked Katy out to dinner without the boys and she accepted. Dr. Fornier got wind of it and said live on TV that he believed Sol was lying about his new faith and creating the LTBL app to get publicity. Tracee helped Sol with his publicity and confided in him that after Norm dumped him, she chose to stay with Sol because he reconnected her with the faith she had growing up which she lost along the way. Sol went to Katy’s house, and Gus answered the door and told Sol that he expected Katy by 10:00 since it was a school night and Sol needed to keep his behavior in check. Sol showed up in casual clothing, but Katy overdressed for the occasion. Instead of a restaurant, Sol took Katy to an outdoor area where he had arranged for a private waiter to serve them dinner surrounded by lights. Sol quoted Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen’s songs, and then he put a ring on the table and asked Katy to marry him again. She put the ring on and said yes, and they danced. They returned to the house at 10:30 p.m., and Gus caught them kissing. Sol and Katy told Gus to wake Connor up, and they told the boys they were getting married again. Connor was happy that Sol was moving back in, and Gus was skeptical that Sol changed so quickly but then he decided it was all right with him. The boys wanted an increase in allowance, and she started to reply but then had a seizure and collapsed. They called 911 and Katy was wheeled out of the house on a stretcher as the neighbors gathered on the lawn to find out what the emergency was about. Gus and Connor were concerned about Katy because Davey died after he had a seizure, but Sol reassured them that Katy would be fine and told them to pray for her and go back in the house and get some rest. Sol left with Katy in the ambulance because it was his turn to take care of her. The next day, oncologist Dr. Corey visited Katy and Sol in the hospital room. He told Katy that she didn’t give Davey cancer, but the blood work came back that she had Li-Fraumeni syndrome and a brain tumor with stage 4 cancer. Because the tumor was woven into Katy’s brain cells, her chances of survival were slim and Dr. Corey wouldn’t recommend surgery. They could buy some extra time with chemo, but it was no cure and less than 5% survived the experimental program. The doctor couldn’t tell Katy how long she had to live and when her body would shut down because she felt fine aside from the seizure. Katy didn’t want drugs to help her through any future pain and instead wanted to focus on a wedding. The three things most important to her were making Let There be Light a success, loving her husband and sons until she died and getting ready for eternity. At the small wedding, Dionne Warwick sang, “Let There be Light,” because she heard that atheist Sol had converted and was remarrying his Christian wife Katy. Right after Sol and Katy said their vows, Tracee interrupted by taking a call. Everyone waited for Tracee to end her call and when she did she announced that their honeymoon plans were changing because they were doing Sean Hannity the following day. There would be 14 million listeners and 3 million viewers that was great publicity for their LTBL app. The next day, Sol and Katy met with Sean who wanted to make sure they were okay with the exposure they were about to get through his show when they converted people, especially children, to Christianity. They countered that ISIS had no right to behead people and they just wanted to help feed people and spread the light and love of Jesus. Sean gave them the good news that Fox News would do a three-hour special on Christmas Eve to show the band of light of Jesus Christ going around the world in different time zones to get out the message of the hope of Jesus around the world as the one true savior. The days that followed the Hannity meeting, Katy had good and bad days as time went on and her family helped her through. She went through radiation treatments and lost her hair, but she kept her faith. One night, Katy had a talk with her boys who were concerned that their mom wouldn’t get better. She reminded them that it was God’s will and she felt their prayers, but in the end God decided that his only son would die even though Jesus prayed for his life to be spared three times in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus’ death brought salvation to mankind, so God did answer Jesus’ prayers because he lived on in the hearts of his Christian followers. The boys didn’t want Katy to die, but she explained that she would still love them and watch over them as if she were in the next room while they were in the other room playing a game. She told Gus and Connor that nobody really died and knew Davey was at peace and full of love in heaven. Hannity reported live on Christmas Eve about the band of light that was visible from space and was seen in multiple countries, including New Zealand, Australia, Russia, Japan and North Korea. Sally Darwan from NewCom High-Tech appeared on TV as Sol, Katy and others watched. Sally helped design the app and believed that Harkens were sent to her company for a reason. Sally was born in Pakistan and was forced into a marriage to an abusive man at age 14, and she tried to get help from her dad but he beat her for running away from her beater husband. After she was told she would be killed if she left her husband, Sally moved to America and was saved by Jesus. She felt blessed to be part of the light of the world with Jesus and her real father in heaven on Christmas Eve. Hannity then announced that the band of light was seen in the USA, China and ISIS territories. Everyone there then went outside and sang “Silent Night” as they held up their cell phones lighted by the app toward heaven as Katy died in Sol’s arms. The movie ended with Matthew 5:16 and the recommendation that everyone text those they love #LetThereBeLight. With an estimated 3 million budget, this movie grossed over $7 million at the box office and is Dove Family Approved. 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/14/25

TITLE:  Welcome to Happy Valley 

BOX OFFICE RATED: NR (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2015 4Digital Media Limited / Fleetwood Entertainment / GosMonte Production

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie took place in rural New York and began in the small-town Locomotions country bar, where Orin Drew sang a song about God and his baby girl that he wrote for his now adult daughter Jessica. Jessie lived with her dad Orin on his horse ranch called Happy Valley Ranch. Soon after the father daughter bar night, Jessie received a call on the barn phone that her dad died, and she was very upset. Jessie’s city-slicker younger sister Nicole showed up to the funeral and interrupted the service by taking a phone call. She wasn’t happy about being in the middle of nowhere and having to wait until after the funeral to look over the will with the lawyer, named Vincent Lawyer. Martin Tweedy, a friend of the family, said a few words that Orin was his biggest influence in life. After the funeral, Vincent read Orin’s will to the sisters. They were upset to learn that Orin was splitting all his possessions, including the farm, equally between the sisters. The stipulation required the sisters to live together and work the farm for a month, and they could sell if it they wanted to afterwards otherwise they would get nothing. If one of the sisters didn’t abide, the other would get everything. Martin advised Jessie to make Nicole’s life hell so she would leave, and Nicole caught them conspiring against her. The trio went out riding to spread Orin’s ashes in his favorite place, and Nicole wasn’t happy to be on a horse. They walked the rest of the way to the mountain stream, where Martin told Jessie that he spoke to Vincent and the lawyer gave Jessie three options. She could either be hateful to Nicole to make her leave, buy her out or pretend to be nice so she could convince her sister to keep the farm. Jessie explained that Nicole and their mom, Rosie, were her only family, and Rosie deserted them and was in Greece based on her last postcard. Jessie hadn’t seen Rosie since her 18thbirthday, when Rosie left her daughter alone in a hotel room and deserted her husband. Jessie decided to play nice with Nicole, and she found out that Rosie and her umpteenth boyfriend took Nicole to Fiji when she was 17. Nicole explained it wasn’t that great because she woke up to find Nate in her hotel room wearing only his underwear and he tripped and fell to get out of her room fast. She didn’t tell her mom what happened because Nate deserted them the next morning and left them with the hotel bill and no way home. Martin went for a swim, and the sisters sat by the stream. Nicole enlightened Jessie that her so-called friend Martin was a wealthy heir to the Manhattan Tweedy family, who owned half of midtown Manhattan. Nicole told Jessie she should Google any potential guy she wanted to date, but Jessie was clueless about the Internet. Nicole confessed that she once googled one date and found out he had two wives at the same time. Martin didn’t like his controlling dad using money to make his family do what he wanted, so he stayed away from the big city family issues and worked around the Drew ranch. Nicole believed Martin was a dumba** for giving up his family’s money and aspiring to be a simple horse trainer in the country since the paparazzi thought he was going through a phase.Nicole refused to go on trail rides with Jessie and planned to sit around doing nothing during her stay because she didn’t have to work to get her money that she felt she deserved. Jessie was at her wits end and consoled herself near the Rose of Sharon bushes, where Martin cheered Jessie up. Jessie told him that it wasn’t fair that their dad left them both the ranch because Nicole hadn’t been there in five years. She added that Orin had thrown a Sweet Sixteen party for Nicole, but she threw a fit about something and left to go stay with Rosie so Jessie thought Nicole was bit**y, but Martin disagreed and thought Nicole seemed sad and needed real love. The sisters talked in the garden about their mom deserting the family. Neighbor Joey Cannella showed up in his truck and pretended to pay his respects for the loss of their father and then offered to buy the ranch again. He needed the land for his game reserve, where he wanted to lock up exotic animals so city slickers could shoot them as though it wasn’t a cruel sport. Jessie and Nicole told Joey to leave, and he wasn’t concerned because the mobster knew he would get the ranch one way or another. The sisters were happy that they both agreed that Joey was wicked, and Nicole still wanted to sell the place but not to Joey the slime ball. Nicole continued referring to Orin as Jessie’s dad and not her own as well. As it turned out, the ranch had financial problems and the tax bill was coming up. Jessie was the only person working-fulltime and couldn’t afford to hire helpers. Vincent suggested they let the oil companies frack because they paid well for mineral rights and would help pay the bills, but Jessie was skeptical. Vincent then hit on Jessie and told her that she, Nicole and Rosie could move in with him on his ranch where he had a new barn. That made Jessie uncomfortable so she changed the subject and asked if Orin had a life insurance policy, but attorney Vincent didn’t know of any. He gave Jessie a kiss on the head and left for the courthouse telling Jessie to think about his suggestion. Jessie was too shaken by Vincent’s come-on to listen to Nicole about another pair of new barn boots. Nicole later went to the barn with Jessie, and she explained that they paid the bills by doing trail rides, boarding and lessons. Nicole decided to help with the barn chores, and Jessie showed her how to tend to a goat and a pig, Freddy and Kelly. Jessie kept one lop eared black and white bunny around for the little kids to play with while the older kids took lessons. Nicole refused to go into the henhouse with Jessie and wanted to get eggs in town but Jessie assured her the eggs were as good as store bought. Afterward, she and Jessie mucked out stalls. Jessie offered to give Nicole a riding lesson, and Nicole only went because Martin was going to be there. Martin didn’t show up, and Nicole tried to canter but she did worse than the little kids and fell off her horse Clarabelle. Martin appeared later when Nicole hung out with the pig and goat, and she accused him of being homophobic because he said the two males couldn’t be lovers. She asked Martin about his stance on gay marriage, and he believed they should be able to get married even though they would likely regret it later because marriage sucked. He felt that way because his parents stayed together in a loveless marriage and never got divorced, which he thought was worse. Nicole explained that her dad never wanted her in the first place because he only wanted his one daughter Jessica and spent most of his time dwelling on her. Nicole’s opinion was that the gays should have the right to get married at the very least. Later on, Nicole told Jessie that she wanted private riding lessons with Martin so Nicole could get Martin and Jessie could get the ranch. Jessie wasn’t happy about it even though she claimed that she and Martin were just friends. They later had a cookout with the neighbors, and Vincent, Martin and Jessie discussed how Orin and Rosie liked to go out drinking and having a good time so it was possible that he didn’t want another child to spoil his life. Orin wasn’t good at taking care of things, especially children, which was obvious from the ranch’s current financial status. Vincent explained that Orin was 40 and Rosie was 32, and he told her to she had to change and stop drinking, smoking and doing drugs after Jessie was born but Rosie didn’t like being told what to do to. They thought they were too old to have another child but Orin never said he didn’t want Nicole. Jessie flirted with Martin as they played horseshoes, and Nicole discovered that she liked venison but refused to eat it after she found out it was a deer so Martin went to get her a hotdog. Nicole called Jessie out on being too happy with Martin, and Jessie argued that she was just playing an innocent game. Nicole ate her hotdog provocatively, and everyone watched and knew Martin was in trouble. Nicole refused to take lessons with Jessie, so she took her first lesson with Martin in hopes of enticing him with her feminine wiles. Nicole hit on Martin, but he dismissed her and focused on the lesson. Jessie overheard Nicole singing and playing Orin’s guitar one day. Nicole clarified that she didn’t hate her dad and she just thought he gave Jessie more attention like on Nicole’s 16th birthday. Jessie explained that when Nicole saw her and Orin talking that day when Nicole was 16, he was happy because he was talking about the vintage Hummingbird Gibson guitar that he bought for Nicole. Jessie wasn’t into music and couldn’t relate, and Nicole never received the guitar because she ran off but then she discovered that it was the same guitar she was playing. Nicole came upon Jessie one day trying to sell Clarabelle, who Nicole secretly loved, so she was upset. Jessie explained that the taxes were due the next week and the buyer was offering $5,000 for Clarabelle, but Nicole refused to sell the horse. She told Jessie she would get the money in three days and then Nicole took Clarabelle away to her stall in the barn. Jessie and Martin went for a ride, and she told him that she had been working on the ranch since she was fifteen years old. She was barely making ends meet with insurance costs and taxes due, so she considered selling the ranch so Nicole would be happy to get her money and Jessie could find work with horses on another ranch. Martin offered to lend Jessie the money from his trust fund that he hadn’t used since college, but she refused. Orin was more of a father to Martin than his own dad was, but he didn’t like that Orin treated Jessie like a slave and left her to worry about paying the bills at age 15 after his wife deserted them. Martin leaned over toward Jessie and told her he was there for her if she needed anything. She asked if he meant as brother and sister or romantically, and they were both uncomfortable with the subject and went quiet. That night, Nicole came back to give Jessie a check larger than $5,000 and announced that Clarabelle was hers no matter what happened. Nicole spent her time with Clarabelle and Martin in lessons, and Jessie was jealous so she joined one of their rides. Jessie and Martin cantered off, but Clarabelle wasn’t ready to canter yet so Nicole was left behind trotting but she didn’t fall off this time. Nicole later told Jessie that she got the money by selling her expensive shoes to cross-dressing guys on Craigslist, to which both sisters believed that to be gross. Nicole wondered why Jessie and Martin never hooked up, and Jessie insisted that they were just friends but Nicole knew otherwise because Martin wasn’t attracted to her and would only talk about Jessie. Nicole confessed that she wasn’t interested in Martin, and Jessie admitted that she had liked Martin for a long time. The sisters made a deal that Jessie would give Nicole lessons on farm management and in exchange Nicole would teach Jessie how to change her relationship with Martin from friendship to romance. Jessie taught Nicole how to train horses, and Nicole did Jessie’s hair that Martin noticed. Nicole went for a solo ride up the hill on Clarabelle, and she was told to stay on the trail but she wandered off. She ended up almost on Joey’s property, and he found her. Joey Informed Nicole that he owned the mountain but wanted to buy the ranch because it was in his way and he was tired of driving around to get to his game preserve. Joey gave Nicole the creeps and told her that he would eventually get the ranch, so she left after he gave her directions back home and he joked about seedy things up on the mountain if she continued on his property. Jessie did catch and release fishing and told Nicole that she went through the books and figured they were would be okay. She knew Nicole’s presence on the ranch helped, and they had one week left before the 30 days was up. Jessie hadn’t thought Nicole would make it for a full month, but now Jessie was glad to have her sister around and Orin knew the ranch would help bring his daughters together. They discussed Nicole doing half the work if she stayed and then they went to the bar to celebrate their truce. Ned and Kurt bought beers for the ladies and introduced themselves. Jessie recognized Kurt as the dad of one of her students, and Nicole called the deadbeat husbands/fathers out on being married men who were picking up women at out-of-town bars. The men left in a hurry after the sisters suggested they bring their wives and kids to their next barn event. Martin showed up, and Nicole took the stage to sing a love song. Vincent and Joey were outside the bar making evil plans, and the lawyer told Joey that Orin didn’t help him when he asked so he had no lost love for stealing the ranch away from the sisters. Vincent the lawyer planned to sell the family out by using the mineral rights money and royalties from Joey to get out of the one-horse town. Nicole came outside but didn’t hear the men’s conversation. She told Jessie and Martin about seeing the men when they went to the stream the next day to hang out. Nicole believed she must have been drunk because she thought the two men were having a gay moment and kissed. Martin called Nicole out for being the homophobe like she accused him of being earlier after she said it was gross that the two men were making out in public. Jessie called Vincent over to confront him about what he was hiding from her, and he was worried and blurted out that Orin took out a $50,000 loan that Jessie knew nothing about because Vincent hid it from her. He wasn’t sure why Jessie didn’t seem very upset, and to his shock and horror Jessie admitted that she thought Vincent and Joey were gay. Jessie and Nicole went to the fair, and when they got back home they discussed how nobody in his or her right mind would take out such a large loan on a struggling farm and then lose the money since Jessie had no idea where it went. Jessie asked Nicole if she had any more shoes to sell, and Nicole revealed that she sold all her shoes and everything she had to get the money the first time so she was all in on the ranch business. The sisters discussed being homeless, and Nicole explained that she was already homeless because her mom Rosie never had a job but instead Rosie dated rich guys and traveled all over the world with them and Nicole, but since Rosie was no longer attractive and older that lifestyle no longer supported them. Nicole said she had planned to ask to stay with Jessie and Orin on her 16thbirthday, but it didn’t turn out because she got upset and left with Rosie. Jessie said she grew up without a mom and had to ask her schoolteacher how to use a tampon. Nicole said there was no competition because she and Rosie were always homeless and never knew where they would sleep depending on which boyfriend their mom had. Vincent informed Jessie that Joey lowered his original offer for the ranch and he was the only one interested in buying. Jessie told Vincent she wouldn’t decide until the following day when Nicole was there because half of it would be hers as of two o’clock on the morrow. The sisters later discussed how Jessie wouldn’t ask Martin for the money because Jesse felt they would never be together with him thinking it was only for the money like all the girls in his past. In the barn, Jessie told Martin that she accepted Joey’s offer and told all the boarders they had two months to find a new home for their horses. Martin again offered a loan, but Jessie declined and didn’t know where she would live. They shared their first kiss, which was interrupted by Nicole. Nicole pointed out that Martin waited until Jessie was vulnerable to take advantage of her, and advised her elder sister now wasn’t the time to take Martin and her relationship to the next level since they had to find homes for themselves and the animals. Martin later caught Nicole trying to leave the ranch with Clarabelle and told her to stay and be there when Jessie sold the ranch because Jessie did it so Nicole could get her share of the money. Nicole agreed to say and told Martin that Jessie was doing it for her and him and he needed to talk to her sister. Nicole moped around waiting for Jessie to get home, and was going to eat a cookie but instead she found a receipt in the cookie jar. Nicole used the computer and googled the company name and figured out that Orin wasn’t an idiot after all because he must have he invested the loan money. Nicole quickly saddled up Clarabelle and rode off to Joey’s ranch to stop Jessie before she signed the ranch over to the weasel with shady attorney Vincent’s help. Nicole begged Clarabelle to canter because they were in a time crunch, so the horse finally sped up and galloped the rest of the way. Nicole arrived and her and Vincent (came clean and admitted he knew about the investment) explained to Jessie that Grandpa Mitch was a truck driver and convinced Orin to invest in Apple and Ford. They had millions of dollars from the stocks and could even buy out Joey’s ranch. Vincent admitted that he had been searching the ranch house for the missing stock document to hide it from the sisters and didn’t think to look in the cookie jar. Jessie and Nicole left without signing the papers, and they and Martin later discussed what to do with their newfound riches. Nicole planned to stay at the ranch and she didn’t want any horse other than Clarabelle. 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/12/25

TITLE:  Kubo and the Two Strings 

BOX OFFICE RATED: PG (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2016 Universal Pictures / Focus Features / LAIKA LLC 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This cartoon movie began with a woman on a boat in the middle of the raging ocean. She parted a giant tsunami wave with her magical instrument, but then the boat was dragged underwater. She hit her head on a rock and ended up on the beach. Later she was awoke to the cries of one-eyed infant Kubo. Years later, mom and 12-year-old Kubo lived in a cave on a clifftop overlooking the sea. Mom was like a walking zombie and couldn’t take care of herself, so Kubo was forced to hand-feed her. He made origami to try and cheer mom up, but she ignored him so he left for the nearby local village. The boy visited a grandmother figure Kameyo, who was collecting coins to live off from. She encouraged Kubu to finish the story that he started telling to entertain the villagers and earn money for his family. Everyone gathered around as Kubo played his magic instrument to bring his origami creations to life and tell the story of Hanzo the samurai. As the story went, Hanzo’s family, kingdom and life were destroyed by the Moon King, so Hanzo went in search of the magic suit of armor that could protect him from the evil King. The armor included an impenetrable breastplate, an unbreakable sword and the invulnerable helmet. The Moon King’s spider attacked Hanzo, but he defeated it. The story continued and involved a shark eating Hanzo, but he used his sword to cut himself out of the shark’s belly. A chicken catapulted eggs at Hanzo, so he sliced its head off. As Hanzo was in combat with the Moon King, the bell chimed and Kubo quickly hurried back to mom before dark set in. The crowd was disappointed that Kubo left the story unfinished again. Mom snapped out of her mood and told Kubo more stories about Hanzo, who lived in the Beetle Clan castle in the Far Lands that was invisible to the Moon King. Kubo asked about his dad Hanzo, and mom told him that Hanzo had the same traits as his son and he loved Kubo very much and died protecting him and mom. Mom explained that her sisters and Kubo’s grandfather the Moon King were monsters because they stole Kubo’s left eye, so he must hide from them or they would take him away from mom who wouldn’t confirm that they killed Hanzo because she didn’t know and fled with her baby boy. Mom reminded Kubo to never be out after dark and told him again to always keep his monkey figurine with him and wear Hanzo’s robe at all times. When night fell, mom went back into her trance and Kubo put her to bed. Mom had a dream that night which caused the origami papers to float around the cave. She woke up and asked Kubo what happened to his eye as if she didn’t know, and the papers fell to the paper when he put her back to sleep. The next day, Kubo returned to the busy village that now had a festival going on. Kameyo told Kubo about the nighttime activities he missed out on, which included fireworks and lamps that the villagers placed at the altars to talk to the spirits of the deceased.Kameyo suggested that Kubo make his own lamp before dark and sent him on his way into the woods to do so. Once complete, Kubo spoke to the lamp about his deceased dad and thanked his dad for saving one of Kubo’s eyes. He worried about his mom because she couldn’t remember the stories and was out of it more each day, and Kubo wished that Hanzo were there to help. One little girl was excited when her lamp lit up with the spirit of her grandmother, and her dad explained that they had to take Grandma back to the spirit world. The girl was disappointed because Grandma just arrived, but she completed the ceremony by setting the lamp adrift in the water. Other families put their lit lamps in the water as well, but Kubo was upset because his lamp never lit up. When the bell chimed before sundown, Kubo threw his lamp away and told Hanzo he wasn’t needed anyway. Kubo then had a change of heart and apologized to his deceased dad, and as darkness fell all the lamplights went out on the water. The young boy then heard female voices chanting his name, and then mom’s two sisters appeared dressed like witches. The two hater aunties floated across the water and tried to persuade the little boy to go with them because they were relatives when all they cared about was harvesting the nephew’s other eye for his perverted grandfather. Kubo ran to the village and screamed for help as the sisters sent their black magic after him. The destructive vines attacked the villagers and blinded them with smoke, and then Kubo tripped and fell when the sisters caught up to him. Mom then appeared and used Kubo’s instrument against her wicked witch sisters. Mom told Kubo to find the armor if he wanted to live, and then she gave him wings. Kubo flew off and mom and her evil sisters battled it out. Kubo woke up in the middle of a blizzard in the Far Lands. A talking macaque monkey informed him that his mom was gone, the village was burned to the ground and his evil family was hunting him down. Kubo rode on the monkey’s back to find shelter before the Moon King arrived. They spent the night inside a dead whale carcass. Kubo learned that the Mr. Monkey charm he had always carried with him was now alive in the form of Miss Monkey because mom used her remaining magic to save her son and bring the figurine monkey to life. She insisted that Kubo drink the whale gut soup to keep his strength, but it was too hot and he burned his mouth. Monkey told Kubo to grow up and realize that his aunts never slept or ate because their one mission was to kill Kubo’s protector and steal his eye as the Moon King told his mean spirited daughters to do. Mom’s plan was to find the armor because it was the only thing that could forever protect Kubo. Monkey took the strand of mom’s hair that Kubo ripped out of mom’s head and kept before he flew off and the monkey explained that his mother was powerful and he was able to escape his aunts as a result of her blessing and monkey come alive because of her magic. Monkey made a bracelet out of the hair, which she put around Kubo’s wrist and told him to remember his mom. Kubo dreamed that night, and Monkey was surprised to discover that the dreams brought a Hanzo origami figure to life. Kubo explained that his mom’s dreams did the same but the paper unfolded itself by morning unlike now, when it was still in the shape of Hanzo while Kubo was awake. Kubo also said he no longer controlled Hanzo and he was alive on his own. Kubo thought it was his dad’s way of responding to him, so Monkey and Kubo followed Hanzo to find the armor. Kubo tormented an innocent songbird along their journey by playing his instrument to create a flock of origami birds. He then sent one of the birds to run into Monkey’s butt because he was mad at her for telling him not to play around and he would die. Kubo then accidentally turned the paper birds into paper mosquitos, which went after Monkey but she crushed them all and glared at Kubo. She told Kubo that he couldn’t be free with his magic and he had to learn to control it, otherwise he would end up in dangerous situations. A humanoid insect creature named Beetle then grabbed Kubo. The Beetle had been following them. Monkey tried to come to the rescue but Kubo stopped her before she could stab Beetle. They learned that Beetle was interested only in the Hanzo figure, which triggered a memory that had been erased from his head. He knew somehow that he was a samurai warrior before he was turned into a beetle/human hybrid, and he also had a robe with a beetle symbol that matched the one on Hanzo’s robe that Kubo wore. Beetle’s memory came back to him in flashes whenever he found specific objects, sounds or smells in his travels. Kubo told him that Hanzo was his dead, and Beetle believed that Hanzo was his master. Monkey wanted nothing to do with Beetle unless he could prove that he was a warrior, so he showed off his impressive archery skills and was accepted. The trio left following the paper Hanzo warrior, which led them to a chamber. They fell through a hole in the floor that was opened after Beetle touched the ominous skull. They found a sword that they believed was the one they were looking for. Beetle pulled it out of a skeleton hand, but then the other bones pieced together to form a giant human-like skeleton whose head was holding many swords. The giant skeleton grabbed Monkey, so Kubo played his instrument and created origami birds to fly around the skeleton’s head and distract it. It tried to stomp on Kubo and Beetle, who then discovered that he had wings so he and Kubo flew off. The skeleton grabbed beetle as well and Kubo fell, but he landed on the skeleton’s head and searched for the right sword among many others. He pulled the unbreakable sword out of the skeleton’s head and it crumbled into pieces. Beetle rescued Kubo and Monkey by flying out of the cavern to safety. As the two adults argued about how Kubo was a very gifted child and needed to be protected, Kubo was busying building a boat out of leaves to get them across the Long Lake safely. Beetle taught Kubo how to shoot a bow and arrow, and as a family they caught fish to eat using a rope and the bow and arrow. They planned to head to shore because they feared that mom’s crazy family was nearby, but then they discovered that the breastplate was underwater. Kubo warned Beetle that there were eyes that would trap him under the surface forever, but Beetle went anyway. The evil sisters figured out that they were searching for the armor like Kubo’s dad did so the sisters planned to stop them. Kubo fell in the water, and one of the sisters prevented Monkey from going after Kubo so the females fought using the sword and chains. Kubo immediately found the breastplate underwater and put it on, and then giant floating eyes that hypnotized him surrounded him. The story was told that eleven years ago, mom fell in love with the fool Hanzo and betrayed the sisters’ father the Moon King. Beetle resurfaced with a fish claiming that it was the breastplate. Monkey was able to choke the sister out with her own chains thanks to Beetle’s distraction, so she sent Beetle back underwater to find Kubo. The eyes put Kubo into a trance, and that showed him how Monkey was actually his mother. Kubo snapped out of it when Beetle shot arrows at the eyes. The other sister took up the fight with Monkey and told her that love made mom weak. Monkey grabbed the sword and argued that love made her stronger, and then she slashed at her sister. Beetle reappeared with an unconscious Kubo wearing the breastplate, as Monkey was now alone after defeating her psycho sister. Monkey couldn’t wake Kubo up and cried over him, and then the boat pieced back together and Kubo was revived. Kubo told Monkey that he knew she was his mom and she called him her son. Later that night by the campfire, Monkey told Kubo and Beetle about the night she met Hanzo when she and her sisters were sent to kill Hanzo at the Temple of Bones. The Moon King had ordered his daughters to kill many noble warriors because anyone who found the armor would become too powerful and be a threat to the heavens. Monkey arrived at the temple early to slay Hanzo before her sisters could. They battled until Hanzo decided that he was attracted to her and told her that she was his quest. They stopped fighting and fell in love instead, and she realized that she no longer wanted to be a bloodthirsty murderer so she and Hanzo had a son named Kubo. Kubo’s god-like grandfather found the lovers and was irate that his daughter betrayed the heavens, so Hanzo and his army fought the Moon King while baby Kubo and his mom escaped. Monkey explained that Kubo’s grandfather didn’t hate his grandson and just wanted to make his grandson blind to humanity like himself so Kubo could rule beside him in with his cold, hard family. After Kubo fell asleep, Beetle learned that Monkey had a battle wound that she dismissed as a scratch. She explained that her magic was wearing off and soon she would be gone, so Beetle vowed to protect Kubo and assured Monkey her story would live on with Kubo. Kubo had a dream, where a blind old man showed him that the last piece of armor, the helmet, was inside Hanzo’s fortress. The man instructed Kubo to follow the sun to get there and claim his birthright so the story would have a happy ending. The trio set off, and along the way they saw a flock of golden herons that carried the souls of the dead on the path they needed to go. Monkey explained that when you die, your story never ends because your soul shifts into another realm and you start a new story. They arrived at the dilapidated fortress, and they figured out too late that it was a trap and the helmet wasn’t there. Monkey’s sister arrived and tied everyone up, and she told Monkey that Monkey was always the brightest of them and they just wanted to be a happy family among the stars. Monkey argued that she didn’t agree with her evil sister what family was, and then the sister revealed that Beetle was actually Hanzo, Monkey’s husband. The vicious sister threw Hanzo through a wall, so Kubo punched his nasty aunt in the face. Monkey came to her son’s rescue and the two sisters had a swordfight. Beetle/Hanzo was able to take the sister down before she could finish off Kubo and his mom. Mom had a fatal injury as father and son recognized each other. Hanzo promised to keep Kubo safe, but then the sister stabbed him in the back. Mom told Kubo to fly home, but instead he grabbed his instrument and strummed it. The blast of power destroyed Kubo’s aunt, and Beetle (dad) and Monkey (mom) were gone. Kubo’s tear brought the Hanzo paper figure back to life, and it pointed to a picture depicting the helmet hanging in the village. Kubo tied a piece of rope around his wrist, strummed his instrument again and then flew away using his robe as wings. He went to the village and retrieved the helmet. The villagers were hiding, and Kubo told Kameyo to evacuate everyone because the Moon King was coming. Kubo put the helmet on and his power was united with the joining of all three weapons. He called for his grandfather, who appeared and turned out to be the man from his dream who misled him. His grandfather wasn’t blind after all and explained that as long as Kubo kept his good eye, he would be stuck down there in hell and couldn’t join the Moon King in the heavens where he would be infinite and immortal. He told Kubo that he would be with his family if he went with his grandfather, but Kubo corrected him that his real family was gone because of his evil heavenly family. Kubo declared that he would kill his grandfather to end his story, and then the Moon King grandfather transformed into a giant, scaly insect-like creature. Kubo sliced the Moon King with a sword, but it did little damage until he gouged the creature in the eye. Grandfather told Kubo that in order to be human, he had to share their weakness, suffer their humiliation and feel the pain. The Moon King hit the little boy with his tail and sent him crashing to the ground. Kubo decided that the armor was useless against his evil grandfather wanted to destroy his home and his family, so he strung with his instrument with the rope, his mom’s strand of hair and a strand of his own hair. He told the Moon King that he couldn’t take away Kubo’s love because it was in his memories, which he would still hold inside even if his grandfather tried to rip the other eye out of his head. Kubo strummed, and the souls of the dead people in the water lamps came to life. The villagers joined Kubo and the spirits, and he had a shield around them and told his grandfather that he could never steal their memories. The Moon King was unable to break through the shield and steal their love, and Kubo’s last strum defeated his grandfather. Grandfather returned to his human form with no memory and one eye, so Kameyo lied and told the old man that he was the nicest person in the village and didn’t mention all his evil wrongdoings. The other villagers chimed in too and convinced Kubo’s grandfather that he was a good man because he gave to the poor and loved to teach kids to swim. Kameyo assured him that his grandson was a great storyteller and would tell him all the stories that he forgot. The movie ended when Kubo made two lamps for his parents and told them he wanted to reunite with them somehow so they could have a happy ending together, but he didn’t have the magic to do so. All the lamps in the water transformed into golden herons that flew away as the spirits of Kubo’s dead parents stood beside him which he couldn’t see. Kubo put the lanterns in the water and said goodbye to his parents where the village people would now raise him. This movie had a budget of $60 million and grossed over $77 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, David Fear, Rolling Stone, “An animated masterpiece.” Bill Zwecker, Chicago Sun Times “A new classic! An amazing journey!” Scott Mantz, Access Hollywood “A wildly imaginative, magical adventure.” 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/10/25

TITLE:  Sleeping With The Enemy 

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 1991  20th Century Fox / Leonard Goldberg Productions

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: The movie began with Laura Burney collecting clams on the Cape Cod beach, where she and her husband Martin Burney vacationed in their beachside home. Martin informed Laura that he had to work on their vacation and later they both would attend a party at the Blanchards’ house. Laura dressed in white for the party that night, but Martin insisted that she wear the sexy, backless black dress even though it was cold. They left the party early and went home, where Martin played a dark Berlioz classical CD and they had sex. Martin obsessively worked out on his exercise machine and was then unhappy to find that the towels hanging on the rack were uneven. Martin brought Laura to the bathroom to align the towels, and she apologized for them not being in order. Laura then made sure all the jars in the kitchen cabinets were facing forward and not messy because Martin required it (like the robots do in today’s stores). Martin went outside and spoke to the neighbor, John Fleishman, who had his boat on the dock. John mentioned having seen Laura looking out the window many times, and Martin didn’t want to discuss it. John was a neurologist from Boston and Martin was an investment counselor and he and Laura lived in Boston as well. Martin told John that Laura almost drowned when she was a child, so she couldn’t swim and didn’t like boats. John offered to take Martin and Laura for a moonlit boat ride that night to help her overcome her fear. Martin returned to the house as a jealous out of control madman, where he confronted his wife about having a thing with the young doctor while Martin was in town the day before after John said he liked the Burney house. Martin hit Laura to the floor because he believed she humiliated him by watching John from the window. Laura dropped her vase of flowers and cried, so Martin kicked her and he didn’t want her to ruin their dinner that evening by pouting. Seconds later, Martin pretended to feel guilty about what he did and consoled Laura kissing her as if it never happened. Martin told Laura that he expected her to go sailing with him and John, and then he left Laura alone while he went to town. Laura got up dressed only in Martin’s shirt and cleaned up the broken glass mess from the vase. Laura later went to the beach, where she stared out at the water. Laura decided it was time to set her plan in action so she threw rocks to break the outdoor lights above the lifeguard sign near the stairs to her house by the beach. Martin returned to the house talking in French and gave Laura a bouquet of red roses and red negligee. He apologized for his outburst and undressed Laura to put her in the scarlet nightgown, which exposed the baseball-sized bruise on her back. Martin played the dark classical music again while he and Laura had sex, and then he left. At dinner, the couple discussed how Mrs. Clark from the library called and offered Laura a full-time job. Martin argued that he let Laura already help out at the library three days a week because she loved books, and he was supportive but was concerned how their house would look with her gone more. Laura claimed that her mom, Chloe, was all she had and she was still upset that Martin didn’t allow her mom to come live with them. They discussed how Laura’s mom died six months prior and she snuck out for two days to attend the funeral and Martin wasn’t pleased that Laura didn’t tell him where she went since because he claimed he too had wanted to pay his last respects to his mother-in-law. She called him out on beating her severely when she returned home after being absent for a couple of days. Before they went sailing that night, Martin told Laura they would always be together no matter what. It was not smooth sailing as the doc claimed because the waters were choppy, and then it started storming. They turned around to go back to shore as Martin manned the jib to steer the boat. They had passed the first buoy and were almost home when the jib broke off and both men went to the front of the boat to fix sale. The boat swayed in the bad weather, and Martin fell into the water and John helped him back into the boat. Martin then realized that Laura was missing from the boat and screamed her name, and then he and John were picked up by another boat. Martin wanted more manpower with a helicopter in the severe storm to find Laura until a search team picked Laura’s lifejacket out of the water. Martin went home to an empty house, where he picked up the Nefertiti-like bust art that he gave to Laura on their honeymoon and threw it at the sliding door to shatter the glass. Days later, a funeral was held for Laura on the beach. What really happened that night was Laura was able to swim to a nearby buoy and find her house by following the broken lights. It turned out she didn’t go to the library during the three days she left the house and instead secretly took swimming lessons in preparation for her one chance to escape the madman. Once inside, Laura grabbed the hidden bag she had already packed full of cash and travel clothes. She cut her hair, put a wig on, flushed her wedding ring down the toilet and cleaned up the water she dripped on the floor. Laura took a Greyhound bus, where she struck up a conversation with an older woman. She explained that she was going to visit her mom, who had a stroke and was in a nursing home. She lied and said she was coming back from the east after she visited a friend who escaped her abusive husband. Her friend called the police and got a lawyer, and she was told that she could make a citizen’s arrest and get a restraining order against the abuser but it didn’t work out because he could fool anyone with his Jekyll-Hyde behavior and the restraining order was worthless. The woman realized that Laura was talking about herself and asked how long she was married to the monster, and Laura replied three years, seven months and six days. Laura then arrived in small-town Iowa, where she changed her identity to Sara Waters and rented a furnished house from Iris Nepper for $700 a month. Sara cleaned up the house and painted it, and she watched the neighbor Ben Woodward from the window as he sang “The Jet Song” and danced with a hose. He spotted Sara staring at him, so he stopped and she hid. Meanwhile, Martin packed his bags to leave and took one last barefoot walk outside. He stepped on a glass shard and discovered that it was from the two broken lights outside his beach house. Sara kept the towels and the items in the cabinets messy and enjoyed the freedom of not being beaten if they were out of order. She stole apples from Ben’s tree that night, and she was caught and lied that they were on the ground even though Ben saw her picking them. Ben threatened Sara for trespassing and offered to make a deal with her concerning the apple pie she wanted to make, but she didn’t make deals and dumped the apples on the ground and returned to her rental house. Ben later came to the screen door and thought Sara was scared because of the kitchen knife she held in her hand. Ben gave Sara the apples she dropped and she invited him in. He said was a drama teacher at the Cedar Falls college and directed the West Side Story show that he was singing in his yard, that Sara said her mom took her to see when she was young. Sara refused to tell Ben her name, so he left telling her that he was having pot roast for dinner the following night and she could join him if she wanted and bring her apple pie. Meanwhile, at work, Martin got a call from Vanessa Shelley and it was put through because the woman knew Laura, even though he told his secretary he didn’t want to be disturbed. Vanessa gave her condolences for the loss of Martin’s wife and explained that she and Laura went to the YWCA together. Martin argued that Laura never went there, and Vanessa clarified that she and Laura took swimming lessons three days a week. Martin thought there was a mistake because Laura drowned, and Vanessa explained that Laura couldn’t swim at first but she improved greatly. Martin said his wife never did gymnastics when Vanessa questioned him about it, and then she added that gymnastics was how Laura explained away her awful bruises. Martin realized he had been duped, so he smashed the phone with a paperweight and then sped back to the beach house. He spent hours going through Laura’s boxes of personal records to find something that would help him track his wife down. Martin turned the house upside down and cut his finger when he went through Laura’s cosmetic bag in the bathroom. He then spotted Laura’s wedding ring in the toilet bowl, and he retrieved it, put it on his own finder, and had crazy eyes. Back in Iowa, Sara went over to Ben’s house, where the pot roast in the oven was on fire. They salvaged what was left of dinner and discussed how Ben knew Sara was looking for a job because of small-town gossip. He planned to ask around at the college, but she didn’t want any favors and was nervous when he asked her about letters of recommendations, transcripts and her driver’s license. Ben saw the cut on Sara’s head but she wouldn’t talk about it. After a flight from Boston, Martin visited the Oak-Rest nursing home in Minneapolis, Minnesota where Laura’s handicapped mom lived before she died. He tried to find any loose ends that he could trace back to Laura, so he asked a director for a list of people that visited Laura’s mom but they didn’t keep records on visitors at the nursing home. Martin lied that he thought his wife would want to be buried where her mom was and then learned from the worker that Laura’s mom didn’t die in the nursing home. In fact, Laura paid the bill in full six months prior when she checked her mom out of the nursing home and announced that she was taking her to live with her and Martin. Ben got Sara a job at Porter Library, and he told her that he called out her name when she was at Walgreens but she didn’t acknowledge it. Ben realized that her name wasn’t Sara, and he wanted her to be honest with him but she wouldn’t reveal her real name and told Ben they didn’t have a romantic relationship and never could. Sara used a payphone to call Hillgrove Nursing Home and speak to her mom Chloe. Sara didn’t say anything because she didn’t want Chloe put in situation where she would be abused if Martins showed up, so Chloe told her nurse Jane at the nursing home that there was nobody on the line. Hell bent on finding Laura, Martin hired high-end private investigator Locke in Minneapolis and informed the man that both he and the man who found Chloe would each get a $10,000 bonus in addition to the fee. Sara and Ben hung out at the town’s Fourth of July parade. Ben told her that he didn’t make it to Broadway when he lived in New York, so he moved back to Iowa. Sara confessed that she moved to small town Iowa to be close to her mom after her stroke, but she didn’t feel safe going to the nursing home. Meanwhile, blind Chloe was knitting in her room and hummed, “Hush Little Baby,” when Martin creepily appeared beside her and quietly watched the old woman. Sara returned to her house one night, and Ben soon banged on the door and invited her to the college backstage theater room and auditorium. Ben set the stage for Sara to sit on a swing with stars and falling snow while, “The Brown-Eyed Girl” played. Sara tried on stage outfits and she and Ben danced. Later on, they almost had sex at Sara’s house, but she broke down in tears and told him to stop. Ben wasn’t sure what her husband did to her and left. The next day, Sara walked over to her neighbor’s house and sat on the porch swing with Ben at his house and told him about her abusive husband and how she was happy that Ben was around. Ben then used his acting experience to dress Sara like a man so she could visit her mom at the nursing home. Sara drove to the nursing home and found her way to her mom’s room and sang the Hush Little Baby song, so Chloe recognized Laura. Mom was upset after she felt the male mustache and wig on her daughter, so Laura took off the disguise and announced that she left Martin. Chloe was worried that the madman after her daughter was so bad it made Laura change into a man. Laura confided in Chloe that she had a job and was dating Ben and told her the name of the small town college Ben worked at. Chloe gave Laura some encouraging words, and mother and daughter were happy to share that rare special moment together that they couldn’t do in the past because of Laura’s lunatic husband. As it turned out, Martin was in also at the nursing home inside the building and he concocted a sob story and told it to a worker about his little sister and him not being on good terms. He wanted to fix their relationship if she came to visit their mom at the nursing home, so he gave the worker his name and number at the motel to call him if she saw anyone visit Chloe, and the questionable worker agreed to do it for the strange man. However, at the front desk on his way out, another female worker stopped Martin and informed him that a young man (Laura) visited Chloe that day and just left. Martin ran outside but male Laura was already gone. Laura returned home in Ben’s white convertible and they kissed at the success of their charade. The next day, psycho Martin went into Chloe’s room at the nursing home and sat on her bed while she was eating. He claimed he was a police officer named Daryl Walker and asked Chloe questions about her visitor. She said it was her nephew from Wisconsin, and Martin told the elderly mom that Laura would be proud of her. He explained that the Boston police notified them that Laura’s husband was in Iowa, so they needed to warn her because they believed her husband would hurt her. Martin instructed Chloe to have Laura call the police in Sioux City when she called again, and Chloe blurted out that Laura wouldn’t call her until Sunday. Chloe was very alarmed and said Martin was crazy. Martin (fake cop) continued to badger Chloe to tell him where Laura was. Chloe was afraid for Laura and revealed that Laura knew a drama teacher at the small town Cedar Falls college and asked the imposter police officer to help her daughter. Before Martin could smother Chloe with the pillow in his hands, nurse Jane opened the door and interrupted the man to give Chloe her medicine, so Martin put the pillow behind his mother-in-law’s back and left. The next day, Martin showed up in Cedar Falls. Martin hid in the back of a drama teacher’s car at the college and pulled a gun on the man when he got in the car. He argued that there were several drama teachers, but Martin accused the man of sleeping with his wife. The drama man then admitted that he was gay and was with another man and everyone around the small town knew that, so Martin threatened the man not to call the police or he and his lover would be dead. Martin knocked the guy unconscious with his gun and then lurked around campus looking for another drama teacher until he found Ben teaching a class to his students. Martin waited until Ben left class and followed him around until Ben went to a carnival fair that night where he met up with Laura. Martin stalked the two and was irate to see how happy Laura was with Ben when they kissed on the Ferris wheel. Ben and Laura arrived back home and they planned to hang out at Ben’s house, but Laura wanted to freshen up and take a bath at her house first and told Ben she would be 20 minutes. As Laura got out of the tub she noticed the towels were aligned, so she searched the house and found more towels aligned but everything in the kitchen cabinet was still messy. She closed the window that was banged opened and screamed when she saw a reflection but was relieved to discover that it was just Ben. They went to Ben’s house and drank wine in the backyard, and then they kissed goodnight when Ben took Laura back to her house. Laura turned the music on and it played Berlioz, and she thought Ben was playing a joke on her and dismissed it. She found the bathtub overflowing, so she drained the water and then found the closet door open. The smoke alarm went off downstairs and the toast was burning in the toaster. After Laura unplugged the toaster the lights in the kitchen went out. She couldn’t shut off the fire alarm, so she broke it with a broom. She noticed more towels aligned and then checked the kitchen cabinet, where all the cans in the kitchen cabinet had labels that faced forward in a straight line. Laura burst into tears and tried to run to the door, but then Martin appeared behind her and called her princess like he used to. Ben knocked on the door because he didn’t want to be away from Laura any longer. On the other side, Martin held a gun to Laura’s head and told her he would kill Ben if he didn’t leave. Laura tearfully sent Ben away and told him it wasn’t a good time, but he knew something was wrong. After Laura closed the door, Ben broke down the door and attacked Martin who beat the crap out of Ben and knocked him unconscious with his gun. Martin demanded to know Ben’s name and Laura told him. Martin tried to dance with Laura like they did on their honeymoon, and he held up her wedding ring and said nothing could keep them apart. Laura whimpered when he tried to kiss and pretended she was frail and still afraid of him, but then she kneed him in the private parts and tried to run. She dove for Martin’s gun that he dropped and shot at him, but she missed. Martin tried to get into Laura’s head that he knew what she was thinking and she wouldn’t call the police because they wouldn’t protect her based on past experience and restraining orders. Martin threatened Laura’s life againby saying that he couldn’t live without her and she wouldn’t live without him. Laura picked up the phone and gave the police her fake name Sara and rental home address and asked them to come quickly because she just shot an intruder. Laura then shot Martin three times until he dropped dead because he kept coming for her. Laura collapsed to the floor in tears and dropped the gun, and somehow the evil Martin was still alive and grabbed Laura’s hair and held the gun to Laura’s head. He pulled the trigger, but there were no bullets left. Martin died with the gun in his hand. Laura then got up and helped Ben who was just then waking up from his head injury. This movie had a budget of $19 million and grossed $175 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Jim Whaley, PBS Cinema Showcase, “A classic thriller.” 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/7/25

TITLE:  Nothing But The Truth 

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2008  Sony Pictures Releasing / Yari Film Group / Battleplan Productions / Freestyle Releasing 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie was inspired by true events. It began with US President Lyman being shot in the shoulder in a public setting and rushed to the hospital. MSNBC reported that as retaliation for the attempted assassination three weeks earlier, US military planes attacked military planes in Venezuela.Emily Boyd reported live from Caracas. Meanwhile, a school bus full of elementary children went on a field trip with their teacher Mrs. Robinson. Mom Rachel Armstrong (volunteer room mother) tagged along with her seven-year-old son Timmy. Rachel had a young girl sit in Mrs. Robinson’s seat beside her since the teacher moved to the back of the bus to handle the bully kids that wouldn’t stop pulling on the girl’s hair. Timmy didn’t like that classmate Allison tattled on the others so Rachel explained to her son in the seat behind her that sometimes telling on others was necessary. Rachel was a reporter for Capital Sun Times in Washington, DC. Another day, Rachel showed up to her workplace, and her boss Bonnie informed her that they would publish her Watergate story before anyone else could, and Rachel was glad because she wanted to bring down the White House. The attorney Avril Aaronson present, announced that news outlet had no legal liability because of the way they were handling the story by waiting until the last minute for Rachel to contact Erica Van Doren so they couldn’t be shut down. Bonnie told Avril that they wouldn’t give up their inside source and they had two valid pieces of information supporting the story, including their source and Erica’s letter to the CIA director that was given to Rachel. Because Rachel was a reporter and didn’t work for the government, she didn’t care that it was illegal for a government official to blow the cover of an undercover agent. Rachel had a connection with Erica because their children went to school and were in Mr. Cody’s class together. That afternoon, Rachel showed up at Erica’s daughter Allison’s soccer game and took Erica aside to tell her that she had been on the national desk at the Sun Times for five years. Rachel said she knew Erica took a trip to Venezuela after the president’s assassination attempt and then returned to DC with her findings that Venezuela was not involved. However, Erica’s information was ignored and the government waged war on Venezuela. Rachel explained that the story would be run in the Capital Sun Times paper the following day revealing that Erica was a CIA agent. Erica was extremely upset and denied it, and she claimed that the press had a vendetta against her husband Oscar (former Great Britain ambassador)and her attorney Harry Timmers would come after Rachel for publishing false information. Erica stormed off and told Rachel to stay away from her family. Rachel stayed at the office late that night to work on the story, and Timmy called her there. Rachel wanted Timmy to stay up late because she didn’t have time to read the school paper he wrote about India, but Timmy had to go to bed because his dad Ray told him to. Bonnie breathed down Rachel’s neck to focus on her work and commented on the nuclear weapons that India and Pakistan had. Bonnie assigned Rachel to dig up information on Erica from Yale to the CIA and everything about her marriage to the much-older (20 year age difference) Oscar, the former ambassador to Great Britain. Erica met with Agent Merrill O’Hara in a restaurant, and she was concerned that the place was too public. Merrill blamed Oscar for causing tomorrow’s big reveal because Erica confided in him about secret information. Merrill accused Erica of unknowingly leaking to the press because she wanted attention and wasn’t pleased that the White House dismissed her Venezuela findings. Another agent joined them and informed them that the story would be published in two hours. A special prosecutor named Patton Dubois was being brought in to figure out who exposed Erica and force Rachel to give up her source in a courtroom. Erica called for polygraphs on everyone who knew her at the agency because she suspected there was a traitor among them. She refused to give up her job and be sent away because she knew none of it was her fault, so she planned to send her young daughter Allison away during the investigation. Merrill assigned protection to Erica’s house, so she stormed out. The next morning on October 6th, Erica went out for a morning job and found the newspaper in her driveway. Several news vans appeared like CNN and NBC. Allison was scared of the intruders so Erica took her inside to stay home from school. Meanwhile, Rachel read Timmy’s India paper and he informed her that India had the most democrats in the world. Rachel’s husband Ray, a novelist, took Jesus’ name in vain when he read the front-page story with the headline “CIA Informed Lyman of Lopez’s Innocence.” Ray believed Rachel would win a Pulitzer for it. Rachel dropped Timmy off at school and said hi to another boy, Connor. Before she drove off school grounds, FBI Agent Coddington hounded Rachel. Coddington took Rachel to Patton’s hotel room. Off the record, Patton informed Rachel that she wasn’t in trouble with the law for writing the article. However, the Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982 law did not protect her source that exposed Erica. Patton explained that Rachel would go before a grand jury, and he would ask her to reveal her source. In the event she didn’t, she would be held in contempt and go to a non-Martha Stewart jail. Patton assumed Rachel’s source was a man and suggested that she convince him to reveal himself to Patton because he believed the source wouldn’t want Rachel to have jail time. Reporter Rachel questioned that because if it were true Patton wouldn’t be there ready to go to trial, so he ended the interview. Erica showed up at her daughter Allison’s school to the read to the kids as she had done in the past but that day she was harassed by reporters in the parking lot. The news was concerned that she leaked information to her husband that had ties with Great Britain. Rachel went back to work and headed to Bonnie’s office, where Avril was irate. He swore up a storm at Rachel for not calling work attorney Avril the moment she was picked up by the FBI agent instead of going rogue and doing a private interview in a hotel room. Rachel informed them that she would never reveal her source to anyone (not even her boss). Avril wasn’t happy to hear that Rachel met with a special prosecutor because Patton worked in different circles and would use unlimited funds to do whatever it took to get the source’s name. Avril explained that 49 states had protection for journalists, but not the federal government. It was treason for someone to reveal top-secret information to Rachel and they would go after reporter Rachel to find her source using the prosecutor. On October 10th, officers were assigned to protect Erica’s home. They set up a roadblock and stopped everyone who drove by the house. Oscar drove off and took Allison to a safe place and believed it was Erica’s fault for putting their family in that situation. Erica went to Rachel’s house to talk so the two women did so in the backyard. Erica said she read Rachel’s husband Ray’s book about the Mossad (Israeli intelligence agency).Erica explained that her husband left her with Allison as a result of what happened with the news article. Erica was worried that Rachel would go after Allison, but Rachel assured her that she wouldn’t because she was room mother at school and Rachel claimed she knew Allison personally. Erica asked if Rachel’s source was someone close to her or someone she worked with, but Rachel wouldn’t say anything. Erica spoke to Timmy on her way out because the young boy was concerned about Allison not being in school. Rachel took Timmy away because she was worried what Erica might do to him because Rachel was responsible for separating Erica and her daughter. In the middle of the night on the 11th, Rachel and Ray were woke up in the middle of the night by an official serving Rachel. On the 12th, Rachel was dragged into a hearing with the grand jury and questioned by Patton. Rachel confirmed that she was the national political correspondent for the Sun Times. Patton asked reporter Rachel who her source was, and she claimed that the First Amendment and federal common law protected her rights from revealing the source. Patton asked a second time, and Rachel refused to answer again so he told her to go home and talk to her editor, family and her source to determine if it was worth a contempt citation. They would then return to the meeting after the break and Patton expected Rachel to answer then. Meanwhile, reporters outside the elementary school again surrounded Erica after she arrived for another story time reading to the children. Inside she found someone else already reading to the kids, so Erica went to see Principal Jerry who informed her that her presence there was not welcome because he didn’t have enough security to handle it. The principal advised Erica to stay away because the school couldn’t handle the press activity and ensure the safety of the kids. Jerry didn’t think that Allison should come back to school after her long absence either. The grand jury reconvened, and Rachel still refused to give up her source. She met Avril in the lobby. An official interrupted and gave Rachel a summons to appear in the US District Court later that day. Avril told Patton that his grade-school politics were unethical, and Patton argued that they had to speed the process along because a traitor was on the loose revealing CIA operatives to the press and putting their lives and their families’ lives in danger. Avril announced that the news company hired well-known attorney Albert Burnside. They later met up with Albert. Avril informed Rachel that Albert’s salary was already in the budget of the news agency because they knew they would eventually need a high-dollar lawyer to defend reporters. Albert told everyone not to worry about Patton because Burnside knew Judge Hall from exchanging Christmas cards. Albert assured Rachel she wouldn’t be jailed that day and things would go smoothly as the attorney was proud of his Italian Zegna suit that cost thousands of dollars. During the hearing, Albert interrupted Patton and declared that Rachel was protected by the First Amendment and didn’t have to give up her source. Judge Hall argued that Rachel wasn’t protected and called her, Albert and Patton onto the floor. Judge Hall warned Rachel that if he asked her to reveal her source and she didn’t, she would be held in contempt of court. Albert requested a continuance because he wanted a few days to get to know Rachel personally. However, the judge denied it because it was a national security matter and he silenced Albert when the arrogant lawyer got out of hand and tried to control the courtroom. Judge Hall ordered Rachel to reveal her source and offered her some time to consider it, but Rachel refused to tattle so Judge Hall offered Albert a few days to try and convince Rachel to do as the judge asked. Albert wouldn’t ask Rachel to go against her own integrity and out her source because he felt the First Amendment protected Rachel in his twisting the truth kind of way. Patton recommended that Rachel be held in contempt and put in jail immediately so she understood that it was a serious issue. Judge Hall agreed to hold Rachel in contempt and have her taken into custody by the US Marshal because the reporter wasn’t above the law. Rachel was put in handcuffs, and Albert could do nothing as she was told she would be released when she finally gave up the name. Rachel yelled to her husband Ray to pick up their son before she was taken to the detention area. Judge Hall adjourned the court and left ignoring Burnside’s protests. Ray asked Albert what to do now, and Albert said he would call in the morning and Ray suggested to the attorney that he take the judge off his Christmas card list. Albert spoke to Bonnie and Avril at the Sun Times and was glad that nobody else knew Rachel’s source because they couldn’t be called in for testimony, even though it was unusual that Rachel didn’t tell her boss the source and instead kept it confidential. In the back of the transport vehicle on the way to the jail, Rachel had her wrists and ankles cuffed.The news reported that Rachel was in jail but was innocent, and Patton believed that Albert and company would use media to their advantage by turning Rachel into a celebrity cause and making her look innocent. The jail officer brought Rachel to the spillover room because more violence occurred in the cells. Rachel was told that drugs, cigarettes, fighting or having sex of any kind was prohibited and was told other rules. There was a TV in the news, and if Rachel wanted to watch the news she had to convince her inmates to change the channel from Jerry Springer. Erika passed her polygraph, and she told Patton that she had no idea who the mole was and said she met with Rachel and knew jail would not break Rachel because Rachel was a water walker. Ray brought young Timmy to the jail to visit Rachel, and Timmy didn’t like to see his mom behind bars and as a result the boy was shell-shocked. Rachel told Ray not to bring Timmy there again because it was no place for children. Ray told Rachel that she was in all the newspapers and channels, but the White House still refused to make comments on matters of intelligence. Ray asked Rachel to reveal the source to him in the event things got crazier in their lives, but she wouldn’t and was cut off when she and Timmy tried to say love-yous. On Day 15, Rachel was back in the US District Court of DC. She refused to pick up the phone in the event she went home and try to convince the source to reveal their identity to the court, so there was no choice but to keep her in jail because she was hiding a criminal. Patton asked Judge Hall to fine the Capital Sun Times $10,000 a day until the source was discovered. Avril protested, so Patton told the judge that the agency wouldn’t be hiring big-gun attorneys if the newspapers didn’t back Rachel and want the source to be withheld. Judge Hall ruled in Patton’s favor. Erica met with two government agents at Arlington cemetery, who questioned her about the source since they were running into dead-ends and they needed to find out more information about her relationship with Rachel. They drilled Erica about her connection to the Potomac Shores elementary school and they found it unbelievable that the two moms never met officially until the soccer game. Erica compared the duo to the Keystone Kops once she figured out they were actually investigating her even though she passed the polygraph and they suggested that she could have had a drunk school moms moment with Rachel and spilled the beans. Erica threatened to quit the force but was told she couldn’t because she held too much valuable information and was in the middle of a custody battle where she didn’t want to lose Allison. Erica learned that the report she did in Venezuela was not the only one the President read because others submitted reports that tied Venezuela to the assassination attempt while Erica’s was the only one stating that Venezuela was innocent. On Day 71 in jail, Rachel received a Christmas card from Timmy and a new female inmate took the top bunk. At the Capital Sun Times, Bonnie announced to the staff that there were three finalists for investigative reporting for the Pulitzer Prize. On Day 111, Rachel was given a message from Bunny that she was nominated for the Pulitzer. At the jail, security came in to do a routine shake down check, and Rachel got disconnected with her family when she tried to talk to them about the Pulitzer she almost won. Security confiscated an apple, pictures that Timmy sent and Rachel’s notepad diary that Rachel was hiding. She was mad that they took her personal writing and swore at them, so she was put into solitary confinement. On Day 198, Rachel told Bonnie that Tom Williams got the investigating reporter Pulitzer because he was able to get a mayor to resign. Rachel asked Bonnie to write an editorial to shame the prison and the government over the whole incident because she could no longer write to her son and claimed it was because she hid an apple in her bed. Molly Meyers wanted to do a human-interest story on Rachel because nobody was talking about her case anymore and the $10,000 fines were heavy on the Sun Times and they were losing mega money and needed the public involved to help so they would not go bankrupt since the government wasn’t budging. Rachel agreed to do the interview as long as it was live at the jail so her words didn’t get changed. Molly arrived on Day 210 for the interview, and the women in the jail decided to quit Jerry Springer for a day and change the channel to watch Rachel. Rachel admitted that she hadn’t seen the boy for several months and it would be selfish for her to have Timmy visit her in jail because it affected him in a negative and unhealthy way. After the small talk was over, Molly suddenly changed character and asked the question she really wanted an answer to about Rachel’s source. Rachel wasn’t happy that Molly turned on her and wanted her to give up her source as a fellow journalist when Molly knew Rachel wouldn’t, especially when it had huge government upsets such as the Watergate scandal and the Pentagon Papers. Rachel informed Molly that a real journalist would go to jail to protect a principle. Rachel got a cheer from her fellow inmates after she told Molly on live TV that the government would never come after Molly because they didn’t care what Paris ate for dinner last night and that was the extent of Molly’s journalism skills. One day as Albert ate at a restaurant, Ray walked in with his female companion Gretchen Monroy. Ray sent his girlfriend off to their table and told Albert that Rachel chose jail. Ray called Burnside out on not being able to do his job to get Rachel out of jail, and it was up to Albert if he wanted to tell Rachel that Ray was sleeping with Gretchen. Erica had told her boss before she left Arlington cemetery that she no longer wanted security at her house. One day when Erica arrived home she parked out front to unload her groceries. A man in a white station wagon was parked outside. He approached Erica and asked where the Stein neighbors lived, and Erica said she didn’t know. The man then shot Erica twice in the chest and fled the scene and not long after Erica died in her driveway. On Day 228, Bonnie informed Rachel of the assigned people at the newspaper company to work on the story of Erica’s murder. Bonnie said the suspect was Alan Murphy, who belonged to a right-wing group that didn’t want the president assassinated, and his car was crashed half a mile from Erica’s house. Erica asked about Allison and Bonnie didn’t who that was so Erica explained to her boss that Allison was the daughter of Erica that she knew personally through the school system. Rachel voiced her doubts to Bonnie about doing the right thing by withholding the source because she felt she had blood on her hands with Erica and Bonnie told Rachel that Erica’s death wasn’t her fault. They were interrupted because Judge Hall called to see Rachel and she was taken to the judge’s quarters for a meeting. The President now wanted to get involved, and Rachel stated that she still wouldn’t reveal her source. Patton presented waivers signed by CIA employees authorizing Rachel to reveal their name if they were her source. Judge Hall told Rachel to look at the documents and pick out her source if the name was there. However, reporter Rachel believed that the agents were forced to sign by means of harassment and/or threats so she wouldn’t look at the paperwork. Judge Hall announced that his wife was mad at him and thought he was a bully so Albert took Rachel and Avril out of the room into the Judge’s private library to talk. Albert explained the press was no longer the white knight savior and was now the immoral dragon, so reporter Rachel wasn’t a hero in the eyes of the people. Albert didn’t think they should continue any longer, and he brought Timmy into the argument because he knew but didn’t say that Ray was having an affair. Rachel was only in there for principle and wasn’t doing anything for the son she claimed to be hers. She played the woman card and thought it was degrading that men got monuments when they left their children to fight in a war, while women who stood up for what they believed in were left to rot in jail (as though reporter Rachel had an honorable source and didn’t do anything illegal to obtain the information she received that got someone killed). Rachel had regrets about writing the story because it separated her from Timmy, but since she made it that far she wouldn’t cave. She reasoned that Timmy would be ok raised by Ray because he was a good dad, and she claimed that her source would die with Erica because it would destroy the so-called traitor they were talking about. Avril goaded Rachel that they had a responsibility not to bankrupt the newspaper. He wanted to know what Rachel meant when she said the source didn’t know what they were doing and questioned if he or she were sober when she gained the information. To keep Avril quiet, Albert then agreed to work pro bono so they wouldn’t have to worry about paying him. Patton informed everyone that Stan Riggens planned to speak to the grand jury because he claimed to be the source and the waiver he signed spooked him. Patton told Rachel she would be free after Stan testified in court the next day. Stan was chief of staff to the Vice President and resigned 11 months before. Stan admitted under oath before the jury that he was the source of the Sun Times newspaper article written by Rachel Armstrong. Stan explained that he and Rachel met up at a party where they were both drinking. He revealed that the ambassador’s wife was a CIA agent, and Rachel said they weren’t off the record but she would keep him as a source anonymous. It came out that Rachel already knew Erica was a spy before she spoke with Stan. On Day 230, Albert told Rachel that they weren’t satisfied with Stan’s testimony but Patton wanted the first source. Rachel had a hissy fit and threw things around when Albert told her it could go on seven more months until the grand jury disbanded and then even longer when they got a new jury. Albert told Rachel that he would fill her in on how it would affect if she were going to be there another seven months and told her about her cheating husband. On Day 244, Ray visited Rachel in jail and they had sex. Afterward, Rachel revealed that Albert told her about Ray’s affair and she asked for details. Ray said he never introduced Timmy to Gretchen and Timmy stayed with a babysitter when Ray and Gretchen went out. Ray had only been with Gretchen for a few weeks and she lived in Maryland. Rachel figured out that Ray loved Gretchen and no longer loved Rachel, so she asked to see Timmy. Children weren’t allowed weekend visitations, and Ray wasn’t sure when Timmy could visit in between his school activities. Rachel went berserk and tried to attack Ray and demanded that he bring Timmy to her. On Day 347, Rachel returned to her bunk to find that another female took it over. The two female prisoners got into a violent fight and Rachel got the crap beat out of her as the other inmates cheered them on. The other inmate dragged Rachel along the floor bleeding from her head until an officer arrived and whacked the female in the back of the head with his stick. The next day, Albert visited Rachel in the hospital under security and the doctors said she would be okay. Albert was insulted when Rachel thought his tie was Kenneth Cole and he corrected her that it was Domenico Vacca. Albert gave Rachel some good news that she would get an expedited hearing and the Supreme Court was going to take her case. On Day 355, Albert addressed the Justices and spoke about the 1972 Branzburg v. Hayes case and how the court ruled against the right of reporters to withhold the identities of their sources from the grand jury. That gave power to the government to jail the reporters who wouldn’t abide, and it was a close five-to-four decision. Albert quoted Branzburg and compared the case to Rachel’s, and explained that reporter Rachel was keeping her so-called integrity and didn’t go against government because she truly believed that her questionable source should be protected. Rachel had given up much in the process and sacrificed along with her family due to her beliefs. Albert added that it wouldn’t stop Rachel’s case because other reporters would follow suit and that would make the First Amendment null and void. Burnside stated that unless the press got involved and were able to publish their stories, nobody would know if a president was covering up crimes or if others in government misused power for their own gain. Albert pointed out that if the government had no accountability, the country would go to hell. He declared that imprisoning journalists was not for the US but for countries without justice systems (as though reporters were the police in our country). Burnside said he learned from Rachel Armstrong that with great people there was no difference between a person and a principle. On Day 356, Rachel returned to the jail and was moved to a different room for her protection. On Day 359, Judge Hall met with Patton and Albert at his own house. He got wind of the outcome of the Supreme Court hearing and informed them that it ruled against Rachel’s case and was in favor of Patton and national security. Hall thanked Patton for doing a good job and letting journalists know that they had to pay the price of jail when they went to far. However, the judge then made a personal decision to release Rachel from jail because he knew she would not reveal her source and he wanted to get back into his wife’s good graces. Patton told Judge Hall that Rachel was a criminal because she protected a criminal, but Hall disagreed that Rachel wasn’t a criminal unless a jury convicted her and the judge wouldn’t let that happen. The earliest the judge could do the paperwork was Monday, but Rachel could be set free that day if Patton wanted to dismiss the grand jury on the spot. On Day 360, the grand jury was dismissed but they had to wait until midnight to let Rachel go. Patton told Rachel that he indicted two government officials for talking to her, and he didn’t know the original firstsource who tipped Rachel off. With her black eye and bloody face, Rachel held up her wedding ring to Patton and told him to keep it as a trophy because she was losing custody of Timmy. She told Patton that he was on a power trip and it got in the way of his job. Bonnie then picked Rachel up from jail at midnight and informed her that she could either stay with Bonnie or at the Mayflower hotel room. They discussed Rachel seeing Timmy again, and Bonnie said that Rachel could come back to work for the paper and write about her experiences if she wanted to. Bonnie was then pulled over by two government vehicles. Patton with the US Marshals then arrested Rachel for contempt of court and said she was going to trial. On Day 362, Rachel was back in jail and Patton informed her that she might get a five-year sentence for impeding a federal investigation. Patton didn’t want to go to trial so he gave Rachel a chance to plea it out and get only two years. Albert turned it down and wanted a suspended sentence with probation. Patton explained that if they went to trial, she would no longer hear a country lawyer but a fire-breathing patriot that loved his country and wanted justice for the widowed husband and little girl who lost her mother because of the reporter publishing an article to get a Pulitzer article while refusing to oust the source person she was hiding. Patton threatened that Rachel would not see her son’s graduation because she was as much of a criminal herself as the criminal she was hiding. Rachel agreed to the two-year deal but insisted on seeing Timmy before she went to prison. Timmy was uncomfortable because Rachel felt more like a stranger than a mom. Timmy said that Ray claimed Rachel could have gotten out of jail many times, but she argued that Ray was wrong. Timmy was mad at Rachel, and she didn’t feel the boy’s love anymore and admitted that she was going to prison like Ray told Timmy. Rachel explained that she was currently in jail until the court decided her punishment and sent her to prison for two years. Timmy said he would try to come visit her even though he was busy, and then he left with Ray. Timmy never looked back as he walked away with his dad, but Rachel looked back many times as she walked away with the marshals. As Rachel went to prison, she remembered her conversation on the school bus a year earlier when she told Timmy that you do tattle to stop bullies like what Allison did when she sat next to Rachel away from the bully. Reporter Rachel (unethically and illegally) had questioned little Allison about her parents on the school trip after she discovered who they were. As it turned out, seven-year-old Allison Van Doren was Rachel’s source.  Allison had revealed that her dad wrote about the President and her mom didn’t approve. She overheard her parents arguing about Venezuela, so Rachel continued asking Allison questions to get the story. Allison explained that her mom worked for the government and told Rachel not to tell anyone because it was a secret. This movie had a budget of $11.5 million and grossed over $400,000 at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times “A spellbinding thriller.” Jeffrey Lyons, NBC/REEL TALK “An intelligent, shocking movie.” Pete Hammond, Hollywood.com “Powerful, gripping, and brilliantly acted. Do not dare miss this one.” 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/5/25

TITLE:  Religulous 

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2008  Lionsgate / Thousand Words / Bill Maher Productions 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This documentary began with host Bill Maher standing in Megiddo, Israel, at the place where Jesus is supposed to return to and save the Christians. Bill hated on prophecy and believed that man would destroy the world with nuclear weapons, and he set out on a journey to understand religion. Bill started with the Catholics who drank the blood of Jesus every Sunday. Bill and his sister were raised Catholic by their Catholic-dominating father and ignored their Jewish mother who they considered to be an outcast. She never attended church with the rest of the family, so they quit when Bill was 13. He was glad because he hated Catholic church anyway, and he stated that Bill would have worshiped any god that allowed him to masturbate more than he already did as a young teen.Bill’s mom told him that the reason his dad quit the church was because they used birth control and the Catholic church believed that was the worst sin ever. Bill, his mom and his sister couldn’t figure out what was right to believe in since they didn’t believe in Catholicism. Bill visited a truckers’ chapel in Raleigh, North Carolina, and asked the churchgoers about the people in the Bible who were as male as they were and wrote the Scriptures after Jesus died and if they believed in it. One man explained that female blood was found on the Shroud of Turin which featured a male figure. It proved that the Holy Ghost impregnated Mary because female blood was the only thing inside her. Another man left the building because he didn’t approve of Bill trying to question the Bible and make people doubt their faith. One man stated that he was a Satanist priest for many years and was addicted to drugs and prostitutes, but he gave it up when he was saved and nobody in the world could ever change his belief in our savior Jesus. Bill announced that he preached the Gospel of he didn’t know what was true and what wasn’t and he mentioned religion was like the lotto. Bill thought he talked to backwoods bumpkins and told the remaining men that the evidence that was Jesus real had not been found. But, then they questioned Bill on his deranged thinking that Jesus was not real. Bill argued that the Gospels were not historical accounts and the authors never met Jesus or knew him personally, plus the New Testament was written to fulfill the prophecies of the Old Testament so the Bible was fictional. Bill tried to reason with the truck drivers that they were smart and only prisoners and people in trouble would believe in Jesus, while Bill himself had money and didn’t need to have faith to live a non-believing rich life which he thought the men should realize that for themselves. After the men prayed for Bill and he thanked them for being Christ-like and not just Christian. For the cameras, Bill joked that the Christian men stole his wallet to hide how uncomfortable he was being the subject of prayer. Bill left Raleigh and told his audience that Christianity was like a cult because its followers pretended to be good when they did evil things like burn people at the stake and molest children. Bill met with Dr. Francis Collins, the head of the Human Genome Project, who believed that Jesus and the Bible were real. Bill argued that there wasn’t enough scientific evidence to prove it, especially with the missing years from the time Jesus was a teen to the time he was 30. Bill joked that only two of the Gospels authors wrote about the virgin birth and they would all have written about that if it really happened from a reporter’s point of view. Bill then met with Jeremiah Cummings, a member of the Amazing Life World Outreach, at the Ezra Center on live TV. Jeremiah wanted to be called doctor. They discussed how Teddy Pendergrass was ordained as a minister at 10 years old, and Bill showed a clip of a Roman guard slapping Jesus in the face because he didn’t think a child could preach. Bill compared religious people to rock stars and actors dressing in crazy costumes to get attention, such as the pope, KISS, Elvis, ZZ Top and Prince. Bill then pointed out that everyone in the church congregations paid for the pastor or pope’s outfits and noticed that Jeremiah was wearing slick lizards, a pinstripe suit and lots of gold. Jeremiah explained that people wanted him to look good, and Bill compared that to a pimp and his prostitutes. Another clip featured a man stating that the biggest pimp who ever lived was God. Jeremiah stated that the Bible did not frown on people being rich and he claimed that he didn’t receive a salary from the church. He told Bill that a man at his church wanted to kill himself over a woman, and Jeremiah advised him to turn his passion to God so a clip was played showing two vehicles colliding and exploding. Bill called Jeremiah out on his $2,000 suit, and the reverend doc said that he knew the tailor personally and got a good deal from the Muslim owner of the store. Jeremiah himself converted from Islam to Christianity, but Bill believed Jeremiah was acting like a Jew the way he bought material things. Bill then appeared live from Sodom and Gomorrah in holy land Israel and explained that two angels went to Lot’s house before the cities were destroyed. The mob planned to rape the angels, but Lot offered up his daughters to be raped instead. Bill stated that he would rather put his faith in the Rick James Bible than swear any oath on the King James Bible. A video clip showed a group of people protesting against gay rights using Biblical words. Bill then met a Franciscan monk in Amsterdam, who interpreted the Bible as saying that people who were born gay were allowed to stay gay and that was okay. Bill was surprised because he knew the Bible said nothing of the sort. Bill headed to Exchange Ministries in Winter Park, Florida, where he spoke to Pastor John Westcott who used to be gay but then married a former lesbian and they had three children. John’s ministries helped people transition into straight from their gay activities, but John noted that many people went right back to being gay and John believed that being gay was a sin. Bill claimed that nature made gay people, and John argued that nobody was born gay because there was no gay gene and no scientific evidence to prove Bill’s theory. Bill told John that Jesus never mentioned homosexuality and it was only in the Old Testament, when in fact Romans, Corinthians and 1 Timothy all have passages that are against homosexuality in the New Testament. John didn’t want to be part of Bill’s documentary any longer and planned to end the interview because it seemed to him like Bill hated on God and God’s people. John explained that the gay people weren’t born that way and were insecure in themselves. They are not complete with who they are as the man or woman that God created them to be even though they appear gay-happy. Bill brought up Reverend Ted Haggard, who wasn’t gay and was publicly against gay people but then had prostitutes, gay sex and drugs at dirty hotels. Ted wasn’t gay, and John said that nobody was gay. John gave Bill a hug on the way out, and Bill realized that the hug didn’t lead to John having an enlarged male body part because John wasn’t gay and was not attracted to Bill. Next, Bill met with Dr. Dean Hamer, author of the book “The God Gene,” who claimed to have discovered the gay gene. Bill then visited Steve Burg, who used to be a Jew but now believed Jesus was the Savior. He owned a Christian store and had a Catholic nun assistant. Bill tried to dismiss a miracle that Steve experienced in his younger years that led him to convert to Christianity. Bill brought Santa Claus into the equation and Santa made it believable that he could visit everyone’s houses every year in just 24 hours. Steve replied that he didn’t believe in fake Santa who could never be compared to Jesus. Bill had a flashback of when he spoke to his mom and sister, and they all laughed remembering when Bill found out there was no Santa. Bill chimed in that he was even more upset when he found out there was no Jesus. Back in real time, Bill told Steve since Steve believed he would be in a better place after death (even if it was in a trashcan), Steve should kill himself. Steve explained that he wouldn’t do that because God still had a plan for him. Bill put Steve’s faith down and said that believing Jonah could live inside a fish for three days was insane. Negative clips of Christians in government who believed that America is a Christian nation were then played. Bill went to Washington, DC, to meet with author/journalist Ray Suarez. Bill read questionable quotes from the Founding Fathers, including John Adams, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, stating that America was not built on Christian values. Bill went on to say that the biggest minority voice in the country was the non-religious group, which had a higher percentage at 16% compared to the low percentages of Jews, blacks, gays and NRA members. Bill met with Mark Pryor, the Democrat Senator of Arkansas who favored the Bible and used it in politics. Bill brought up the Ten Commandments and questioned why they were so important in the laws of our government today as they were in the Bronze Age when they didn’t include child abuse and rape. Mark believed the Commandments didn’t necessarily apply to today’s society because it’s not the same as it was. He went on to say that without God in the equation, people wouldn’t always live with morals because in primitive times they were pagans and were constantly at war with each other. Bill pointed out that the US, Turkey and Cyprus was the three countries that doubted evolution the most. He put Mark on the spot and wanted him to admit that Adam and Eve and a snake couldn’t have made the world what it was and it must have been evolution. The democratic senator wouldn’t agree knowing he was a Christian man to the end of time and not an atheist like Bill. Bill was worried that the senator who believed in a talking snake was running his country, and Mark replied that you don’t need a high IQ to be in politics. Bill then showed up at the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, to visit Ken Ham, an Australian who founded Answers in Genesis USA and believed that everything was true in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. Ken gave Bill a tour of the construction of the museum that cost $27 million. Ken explained that if you believed in evolution, then God created man and woman so the woman had to be an ape woman. The museum promoted the idea that humans and dinosaurs lived together in order to give the visitors the wow factor. Ken schooled Bill that man sins and rebels against his creator, which was why all the scientists around the world couldn’t accept God’s truth and agreed with each other that evolution was real. Bill told Ken that man only existed with dinosaurs in the Flintstones and Raquel Welch. Bill admitted that he wasn’t God and therefore couldn’t say what God couldn’t or couldn’t do in His creation as Ken stated. Bill spoke to Father George Coyne at the Vatican Observatory through the University of Arizona who didn’t want to discuss gay Republicans but instead wanted to beat the Mormons to baptizing the extraterrestrials before they arrived (think Ancient Aliens). He quoted Pope John Paul II bringing to light that Darwinism was factional. Catholic George explained that Christian scriptures were written 2,000 years before Christ and 200 years after him. Modern science came after that until 2,000 AD with Galileo, Newton and Einstein, therefore there was no science in the Bible and it was like the plague because it presented itself as science but it wasn’t. Bill made a comment about his Catechism classes as a kid being a combination of fear and boredom. Bill then visited Rome, where he snuck his cameras into the Vatican until he got caught and they threw him out. He then filmed in the square outside the Vatican and explained because he was on the Catholic **it listnobody of any rank, especially not the Pope, would give him an interview. Bill pointed out that Jesus would not be happy with the extravagant, multi-million dollar building that housed the Pope and then he interviewed Father Reginald Foster, a senior Vatican priest and the catholic man agreed. Priest Reginald didn’t believe that Jesus would be happy with the wealth of the Vatican and if Jesus were alive today he would be living modestly in a small home in the city’s suburb. They discussed how Jesus could have been born on July 3rd since his date of birth wasn’t established until 349 AD. Catholic Reginald believed it was nonsense they had to have midnight mass because they believed that Jesus was born on December 25th. They laughed about how a survey was conducted in Italy that had Jesus listed as sixth on the list amongst all saints, angels, God and Mother Mary deities who the people would pray to when a crisis happened. Priest Reginald called those people Cafeteria Catholics and said that you had to live and die with the people’s dumb ideas because you couldn’t convince them that Jesus was the most important. After leaving the Vatican, Bill and his partner in crime joked about how Hollywood would love to make a movie about a spaceman who zapped a virgin and he gives birth to a son who’s also him and then goes on a suicide mission. Bill then visited the Holy Land Experience in Orlando, Florida. The employees explained that people from all walks of life visited them, even from the Muslims from the Gaza Strip. A few tourists didn’t like Bill and company hating on Jesus. They schooled the nonbelievers that Mary was an untouched virgin, and added that Jesus could save even Muslims. Bill then interviewed the actor who played Jesus, and the two got into a battle of words. Bill was schooled that God is the greatest good in the world and will always be so until the very end. Bill was impressed into silence by the man’s analogy that the Trinity was like water in its three forms of liquid, steam and ice. Bill mentioned different religions with different questionable historical figures that existed before Jesus. The Hindu god Krishna was a carpenter born of a virgin and baptized in a river. The Persian god Mithra performed miracles, was born December 25th, resurrected on the third day and was known as the Savior and Messiah. The Egyptian god Horus, the son of Osiris, was born of a virgin and was baptized in the river by Anup the Baptizer who was later beheaded. Horus healed the sick and blind, spent time in the desert, raised Asar (Lazarus) from the dead, was crucified and was resurrected after three days. The man responded that he went by the word of God because that era was not the Jesus way. A teen tourist pointed out that Star Wars had a character born of a virgin. The Jesus actor asked Bill what if he was wrong, and then the Jesus actor continued his Jesus portrayal for the audience by carrying the cross through the streets as he was harassed and abused by the Roman soldiers who nailed him to the cross and crucified Jesus. At the Speakers’ Corner in Hyde Park, London, anyone could say whatever they wanted about anything. Bill was in London and rambled about Scientology, extraterrestrial creators, and tried to convince everyone that E-meters measure the evil-souled Thetans inside you. Bill did a comedy show in Miami, Florida, about calling Scientology crazy when people believed in Jesus who performed miracles beyond belief. John Travolta and Tom Cruise were also included concerning Scientology. Bill then traveled to Salt Lake City, Utah, where he stood in front of the Mormon temple and stated that Mormons believed in crazy things. Security showed up and threatened to call the police if Bill and his film crew didn’t leave the property. Bill and his crew left and talked to Tal Bachman and Bill Gardiner, two ex-Mormons. Tal explained that Joseph Smith was contacted by Jesus to create the Mormon religion because any other religion was considered an abomination in God’s sight. Bill pointed out the Mormons believed that God lived on the planet Kolob, and he was a physical man and had sexual relations with Mary.They also believed that having dark skin was a curse, but a righteous person with dark could become light-skinned so a picture was shown of Michael Jackson. It was said that Jesus came to the Americas to preach to the Indians, who were lost Jews from Israel. According to Mormonism, the Garden of Eden was in Missouri that would be the site of the New Jerusalem. It was also stated that Mormons can baptize dead people and wearing magic underwear can protect you. During final judgment, Mormons would stand with Jesus, Elohim and Joseph Smith and would need a secret password to get into heaven. When the two men realized that Joseph Smith was a liar and a fraud, their families who remained members of the Mormon church cast them out and disowned them. Bill went to Grand Central Station in New York, where he met with Dr. Andrew Newberg who studied neurotheology and the activity of the brain when people were hopped up on God. Bill thought that religion was a neurological disorder and that people spoke gibberish in a fake language when attempting to connect with a higher power. Andrew defined mental illness as anyone who heard a voice in their head, so ultimately anyone who heard the voice of God talking to them was crazy. He agreed with Bill that Jesus and Moses were both nuts and there was no brain-scanning technology back then to prove it as there is now according to the questionable doctor Andrew. Bill believed that the Orthodox Jews were as cuckoo as anybody, so he visited Rabbi Dovid Weiss in Monsey, New York. Dovid was an anti-Zionist and didn’t believe in the state of Israel, and Bill called him out on going to Iran in 2006 to visit President Ahmadinejad at the country’s Holocaust denial conference and the Iranian president wanted Israel to disappear. Bill left so he didn’t have to listen to an explanation from Dovid because Bill couldn’t manipulate what the rabbi said and wanted to maintain control what was aired. There was a clip of Larry King live speaking to Senator Joseph Lieberman about rabbis over centuries creating prohibitions to protect the Sabbath. Bill went to the Institute for Science and Halacha in Jerusalem, Israel, to speak to Rabbi Shmuel Strauss. They discussed how God rested on the seventh day and there were 39 things that couldn’t be done on that day. The rabbi created gadgets and used loopholes to make things kosher and get around the Sabbath rules, and Bill put words on the screen that it was done because the people who wrote the Bible f-ed up. Bill headed to the Growing in Grace Ministry in Miami, Florida, where Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda preached. He believed that he was the second coming of Jesus and explained that Jesus of Nazareth had a wife and his seed possibly traveled through France and Spain to Puerto Rico. Jose clarified that Jesus was not going to be reincarnated but it would be his descendant Jose coming to the world. Jose didn’t believe in sin, Satan or hell and explained that two angels came to him and told him he was the second coming. Bill played clips of two gay men dressed in pink angel wings and more gay men protesting with rainbow shirts and angel wings declaring that Jesus wouldn’t discriminate against them. Bill didn’t like that God singled out individuals to be prophets and because he thought that if Almighty God were real He would speak to everyone in the world and not just choose one person to speak through. Jose said that if he was Satan, he would do a good job too if it were his calling. Bill admitted that he had an issue with his life when he was in his 40’s, so he made a deal with God that he would stop smoking. Bill then showed up in Amsterdam in The Netherlands to meet with Reverend Ferre van Beveren of the Cannabis Ministry representing the First Universal Church of Cantheism. They smoked pot together, and Ferre said he had a connection with God but he didn’t preach to anyone or try to save souls. He didn’t always connect with God when he smoked pot, and he couldn’t answer Bill’s question why pot was better than any other drug. They laughed about it, and Bill pointed out that the Dutch people were tolerant or intolerance and had issues with Muslims in their community. They discussed the murder of filmmaker Theo Van Gogh who was shot eight times, stabbed twice and had his throat slit by Muslim extremists who were offended by the film he made about Muslims. There was a clip that showed rioters outside the Danish embassy in London protesting the cartoons that portrayed the Prophet Mohammed. 50 people were killed as a result, and Bill recognized that the majority of killers were on the Muslim side when people spoke against Allah. Bill then visited Propa-Gandhi, a rapper in England. When a particular music video he put out upset society, he gave them the middle finger. Propa believed you could dissent in Islam, but Salman Rushdie was killed because of the book he wrote. The rapper’s dissent was to help stop the madness of getting death threats from Islam for dissention. Bill then went to the The Hague to see Geert Wilders, a member of the Dutch Parliament. Geert’s views were that the Koran was a violent book, Islam was a violent religion, and Mohammed was a violent prophet. Geert confirmed that Islam did want to take over the world and you would be killed if you didn’t convert. Bill went to the Habibi Ana, a Muslim gay bar in Amsterdam, to talk to two gay men. They explained that they felt safe in The Netherlands because they would be punished for a year for being gay in Islam, which Bill compared to Alabama. At the Taibah Mosque in Amsterdam, Bill spoke with Mohamed Junas Gaffar who said that Islam preached peace and that’s what the word Islam meant. There are over 1 billion Muslims in the world and only 14 million Jews and the Muslims wanted to kill whatever Jews there were. Mohamed denied anything about the infidels being concerned with politics and warring. Bill pointed out that Muslims conquered most of the world in one century after the Prophet Mohammed’s death. Mohamed received a phone call during the interview so Bill put the words “Death 2 Bill Maher” on the screen as though the Islamic man was texting that to whoever interrupted them. Bill then went to Jerusalem where the Muslims built the Dome of the Rock on top of the holiest Jewish place in the city and Jews weren’t allowed to trespass on the Temple Mount. It was said by the Muslims it was where Mohammed stood before he flew to meet God in the heavens. Bill visited the rock in the center of the mosque that was actually a piece of the Jewish temple. Whenever the Muslims prayed, they had to position themselves to face the black Kaaba stone in Mecca which they believed came from Paradise and Bill thought it was a meteor. Bill then went to the Mount of Olives and explained that the Jews wanted to be buried there because they believed that Jesus would come back, raise them from the dead and take them through the golden gate and then to the Temple Mount. The Muslims therefore put up a wall to keep the Jews out. Bill was surprised he was able to walk into the mosque with his cameras because the Muslims were tolerant and allowed non-Muslims to tour the mosque and ask questions. The women were assigned to a small corner in the mosque to pray. Bill spoke to Yehuda Etzion, a radical Jewish activist who told Bill that Mohammed never stepped on the Temple Mount or even entered Israel itself despite what the Islamic man told Bill inside the mosque. Bill pointed out that a lot of mosques used to be churches much like some comedy clubs are now strip clubs. He then went to Cerne Abbas in Southern England, where there was a figure of a well-endowed man etched into the hillside. Some people believed there was a giant buried under the hills and others thought it was crop circles, aliens or Druids. The locals just maintained the hill because it was what he had always done and compared it to religion. Bill ended stating that religion must die for mankind to live and didn’t think that people in government or world leaders should be making decisions based on their religious beliefs. Bill put down people who preached faith and called them slaveholders that kept others in bondage, and he said that nobody knows what will happen when you die and you’re crazy for thinking that you do so having faith was a waste of time. Nobody knows if the world would end by nuclear weapons or the Rapture, and Bill believed that religion was unnecessary in the midst of it all. This movie had a budget of $2.5 million and grossed over $13 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Peter Travers, Rolling Stone, “Hellishly hilarious!” Jeffrey Lyons, NBC/Lyons & Bailes REEL TALK, “Hilarious! Outrageous! Nothing short of brilliant!” Lou Lumenick, New York Post, “One of the funniest and most offensive documentaries every made.” 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 11/3/25

TITLE:  Te Ata 

BOX OFFICE RATED:  PG 

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2016 Kino Lorber / Chickasaw Nation Productions / Sovereign Creative Productions 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 2

REASON: This movie was based on a true story and took place in Indian Territory in 1906. It began with Douglas Johnston being elected as governor of the Chickasaw nation. He promised that every man, woman, and child would have 320 acres on their homestead and wished goodness for the US government which was their guardians. That night a culture ceremony was held for grown-ups. Bertie Thompson instructed her 10-year-old daughter Mary Francesto stay with her older brother Eugene and baby sister Gladys while the adults attended the party. Governor Doug asked Bertie’s husband Thomas Benjamin “TB” to be his treasurer and he accepted. In the native creation story that Mary recited, the crayfish built a mud chimney and then the mud spread out to create the Earth and allowed the Chickasaw and Choctaw people to live on the land. TB came home and gave his wife Bertie eggs as payment for services rendered, and Bertie wasn’t pleased since they had chickens and handed over the crying newborn Avis to her husband to care for. They discussed how Governor Douglas was headed to Washington to get money for their schools and he planned to charge ranchers a fee to graze on native land. Mary came home dirty from playing the in the woods, and she didn’t want to stay with her older sister Celina so her parents decided that Mary was old enough to go with them to the late night ritual. Everyone gathered around a bonfire that night and danced to worship the Chickasaw creator god, Ababinili. Mary tried to dance with them but was held back by her dad and told that nobody was allowed to get between the elders and the fire. One mad spoke to T.B. in native Chickasaw language about Mary and then lightning struck out of nowhere and rain poured down, so everyone ran for cover. In Washington, DC, Governor Johnston spoke with Senator Judd about getting access to more of the money that the government was holding for the Chickasaw people so they could better educate their children. Judd believed that the natives should live according to one nation under God and quit their pagan and witch doctor rituals in order to be more like the white man. Douglas argued that natives were doing just as well as the white man because they dressed like them, went to church, sent their children to school and did everything the government wanted them to do. Senator Judd agreed that they would consider releasing the funds once the U.S. government was back in session, but until then he advised Governor Douglas to have his people work for a living instead of rely on handouts. Governor Douglas replied that his people knew how to work off the land and had done it far longer than the white man, therefore the Chickasaw and native people would get their money from the white man no matter how many years it took. Douglas returned to Indian Territory and informed the Thompsons that the meeting didn’t go well and the white people didn’t want the Indians to exist. They moved out of the Chickasaw National Capitol building since it was told that government was breaking up the Indian Territory and renaming it Tishomingo, Oklahoma. In 1915, there was a luncheon at the Chickasaw White House. The family discussed how Charles Frohman may have died along with 1,200 other passengers during the sinking of the British ship Lusitania on May 7th of that year during World War I. Nineteen year old Mary planned to attend Oklahoma College for Women on an art grant, and she provided the entertainment since she could recite all the lines from the Frohman play that came to the theater. TB hoped that Mary would grow out of her acting obsession, but Governor Douglas didn’t think she would. Mary was unhappy that mama Bertie made her bring food to the Brewster family because they were poor and had too many children. Mary went through a field and passed a white man threatening an Indian elder with a gun to stay off his property. After Mary delivered the basket of food to the Brewster house, she walked home and heard a gunshot. A rider less horse galloped past, and then Mary found the elder’s dead body on the side of the road. She ran home to tell her parents that the white man killed the elder, so TB left with his gun. He made it back late that night, and Mary eavesdropped and heard TB tell Bertie that the sheriff claimed the elder was trespassing. TB told Bertie that Mary shouldn’t go anywhere alone or go to college because he wanted to keep her safe at home. However, soon after Mary took a train to Chickasha to attend college. She met her roommate Carla Bennett and her friends Margaret, and the young white women were surprised and even rude since there were no other Indians there at college. If not for the letters she received from her mom, Mary probably wouldn’t have survived college. Mary wrote letters back to Bertie but lied that she was busy with social activities and friends and studies, when in fact she was an outcast and was treated like she had the plague. Bertie replied to Mary in one letter that she (mom) was pregnant again and thanked the Lord for all the goodness in their lives, and she advised Mary to have fun but get good grades because she wasn’t at school to party. At the college, teacher Miss Davis noticed Mary talking to a sparrow, so she convinced Mary to sign up for her theater class. During the first class, they discussed how the actress Sarah Bernhardt had a successful acting career despite losing a leg and not using a prosthetic limb. Miss Davis pointed out that Sarah played the man’s role in Hamlet because it was more convincing than a man playing a woman’s role. One day in the dorm, Margaret overheard Mary practicing Frohman for her required monologue, and Margaret planned to do Shakespeare. Mary explained to the other female that she grew up in Emet but her parents now lived in Tishomingo. She told Margaret a native story, and teacher Miss Davis eavesdropped outside the room and believed that Mary had acting talent. Another day, drama instructor Miss Davis saw Mary sneaking off into the woods, so she followed and spied on Mary as she acted out her Midsummer Night’s Dream monologue. Miss Davis explained that everyone did Shakespeare monologue and she didn’t want to hear another one, and it was an advantage that Mary was the first Indian to ever enroll at OCW. Miss Davis wanted to see something from Mary that was different from the other sugar cookies (white girls). After that, Mary read old Indian folklore and practiced her native dancing at the USAO in Chickasha, Oklahoma. Another time, Mary walked alone in the wood and spotted the white dog that she saw years before back home on her parent’s property. At a college play, the audience applauded Mary’s performance that was about the red people being caught in a web that would eventually kill them off. Mary again met with Miss Davis, who learned that Mary’s goals were to finish her studies and then go to New York to perform Broadway. Miss Davis suggested that she attend Carnegie Tech, but Mary couldn’t afford it so the teacher announced that she already filled out and mailed Mary’s applicationand lied on the paperwork so in rectify that she wanted Mary to do what she already claimed during her summer break so it wouldn’t be a lie. Before her train left for her return trip home to visit her parents, Mary went to the Chautauqua Tent Show to visit Thurlow Lieurance, a friend of Miss Davis’. Thurlow explained that the traveling drama tour was 32 towns in 40 nights and he wanted to have an Indian act starring Mary. Thurlow explained that in his younger years, he was left for dead in a blizzard, and an Indian doctor amputated his leg and saved his life ever since then he was grateful to the Indians. Mary agreed to join Thurlow’s tour and he was happy to have Margaret accompany and play the piano for Mary’s act. Mary went home to see her parents. TB wanted his daughter to stay and teach school in that area but stage girl Mary announced that she planned to get into Carnegie. TB couldn’t afford it, but Mary explained that she could because she was going on tour with the summer with Thurlow. TB (Chickasaw) stormed out angry and thought it was a freak show. Bertie (German) told Mary that if God wanted her to act onstage she should listen, and Bertie planned to speak to TB about it. Mary sat on the porch with TB that night, and he told her that the white man forced the Indians to live in Oklahoma so they made it their home and no longer had to wander. TB told Mary that she didn’t have to either, but she argued that she had to go so she could tell the Indian stories. TB asked Mary what her stage name was because she couldn’t use her real name for performing. Bertie suggested Aiukla Ohoyo that Douglas used to call Mary, but Mary didn’t want it because nobody could pronounce it. They settled on Te Ata, the name Aunt Mary called her when she was a baby that meant “bearer of the morning.” They laughed because Mary used to bawl at the crack of dawn every morning and no one could silence her. Mary, Margaret, along with the Chautauqua Tent Show tour traveled by train to many towns and cities around the country. After one of Mary’s performances, a Seminole woman wanted her to tell the story of the Seminole people and she agreed. Word got around, and Mary traveled around the country and met with other tribes who taught her their stories that she performed for her audiences in addition to her own Chickasaw story. Mary returned home and read in the newspaper that Senator Judd wanted to ban native rituals and the sale of all traditional items. TB gave Mary her rejection letter from Carnegie, and TB was ecstatic. Mary asked Bertie to take her to the train station, and TB wasn’t pleased but Bertie agreed. Mary showed up at the Carnegie in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she introduced herself as Te Ata. Mr. Stevens told her that she didn’t get in and auditions were closed, but Mary went to the theater on campus anyway and planned to audition. Mr. Stevens followed Mary and announced that they were getting ready for a performance, but she argued that she traveled over 1,000 miles to get there and she wanted a chance. Mr. Stevens himself couldn’t make the decision to enroll Mary, so he assembled the committee in ten minutes time to watch Mary perform. Afterwards, they told her that she was accepted. A year later, Mary sent her parents a postcard from New York City and explained that teacher Miss Davis set her upto stay at the Three Arts Club for new actresses and arranged for Mary to give private performances in order to pay her way. Mary arrived at the Three Arts Club apartment to find Margaret was there and announced that she swapped her roommate for Mary when Miss Davis told her that Mary would be there. The next day, Mary went to several unsuccessful auditions. One dismissed her based on her looks before she could even speak, and another wanted her to wear a skimpy outfit but she told the man to wear it first and left. At the end of another year, Mary was discouraged because she still didn’t have a paying job and was running out of money while Margaret did free performances during the day and had a paying theater job at night. Margaret gave Mary encouraging words that something would turn up and Mary would get to her dream job and perform on Broadway. Mary worked her way from dingy theaters in the city to social gatherings for wealthy white men and women. She explained that she was half Chickasaw because her dad was Indian and her mom had German descent but her soul was 100% Chickasaw. One woman asked if Mary’s performance was in violation of the Indian Offenses Act, and Mary replied that her people believed in God and He directed their performances therefore it wasn’t illegal. The hostess recommended that everyone vote for Governor Roosevelt in the upcoming election and assured them that Mr. and Mrs. Roosevelt enjoyed the arts and would make future events like that legal if he became president. Mary spoke with Eleanor Roosevelt and then met George Clyde Fisher, a professor who taught astronomy, zoology, paleontology, anthropology and geology. Clyde explained that he was adopted by the Sioux and his Indian name was Afraid of Bear. Before he left the two females, Clyde mentioned that he could be found at the Natural History Museum’s event the following day for the opening of Hayden Planetarium. Mary returned to the apartment building and was given a message that she got a role in The Red Poppy and would now be a paid actress on Broadway. The next day, Mary went to Clyde’s presentation at the museum, and afterward the two alone walked the streets together. Clyde learned of Mary’s new job, so he took her to dinner at Jazz’s restaurant to celebrate. For the weeks that followed, Mary spent her days and nights practicing for the upcoming play as well as going on dates with Clyde. The newspaper reported that The Red Poppy was a hit. After Mary’s final performance, Mary felt unsettled so Clyde took her out to a movie and dinner and she saw the white dog walking the street as a couple’s pet. The movie turned out to be an offensive cartoon comedy about Indians that brought Mary to tears. Clyde took Mary out of the theater and explained that he taught at the Bear Mountain kids’ camp because his way of teaching astronomy to adults was to first teach children in a way they could understand. He invited Mary to the camp that weekend because he felt she needed to get away and taking on different fake roles, as an actress, wasn’t helping her be herself. Clyde took time off from work and drove Mary to the camp. For Mary’s grand entrance she dressed in her Indian garb and paddled across the lake in a canoe to the bank where the kids waited. She sang and danced and told the children that the Indians were native to the land and were the first natives, so they lived as one with nature. That night, Clyde creatively put the words “Will you marry me” on a piece of paper in his telescope and presented Mary with an engagement ring. Mary said yes but wanted her dad’s permission, so Clyde planned to drive her there on the spot and he bragged that he could handle her dad because he climbed into the mouth of a boiling volcano, camped in freezing cold Lapland and swam with crocodiles and piranha in Peru. Mary declared that she would go home and sweet-talk TB because he was ill tempered. Bertie picked Mary up at the train station alone and told her that TB was sick. Mom told daughter that three government agents enforcing the Code of Indian Offenses had gone to TB’s store and confiscated his Indian memorabilia, and her dad’s heart gave out. TB’s store would be fined, and Bertie informed Mary that some of the natives in the area depended on handouts and it might negatively affect them. Mary said that teacher Miss Davis arranged for her to perform at the local school before her fiancé came, and she wanted her parents, Uncle Douglas and Aunt Betty to come. Later on, Mary overheard her parents talking, and TB didn’t plan to attend the show and wanted Mary to get a normal job. TB thought Mary was crazy for trying to promote the Indians when they were getting in trouble with the government. Mary wandered off to the deserted ritual circle that night, where she cried and did a stomp dance. She later drove to the train station to pick up Clyde and brought him to the house. He talked with Mary and Bertie, and TB ignored Clyde and walked out the door when he greeted TB. Clyde refused to give up and went after TB to talk man-to-boy. Clyde had graying white hair like TB because it came early in his life and he was 17 years older than Mary. TB wanted his future son-in-law to tame Mary and make her live in their Chickasaw village close to the family. However, Clyde explained that Mary was wild and had the exceptional talent of acting out the stories of the native people. She could use that gift to help Indians around the country as she traveled and did what she loved, so it was unfair to put a leash on her. Clyde said that Mary loved TB more than Clyde and would always come back to visit her dad. The men shook hands and Clyde stated to the women inside the house that he would accept TB’s decision whether or not he could marry Mary. Bertie schemed to work on her husband TB while the lovebirds went for a drive to the river. Mary and Clyde sat in the peaceful nature, and Mary told Clyde the story of the great white dog Ofi Tohbi that led her people there. The natives arrived at the river Misha Sipokoni (Mississippi) and knew that their forever home was across the river. In the first crossing, the men went with the white dog but the raft broke. The men made it to safety on the other side and the dog vanished down the river on driftwood. The dog was never heard from again, but it was said that it still guided the Indian people he saw it. Te Ata performed at the Tishomingo Community Center, and TB arrived late to the party. His relatives didn’t see him and he slipped out after he realized his daughter was a proud Chickasaw storyteller and captured the audience’s attention with his approval. Before teacher Miss Davis left to drive back to her neck of the woods, she told Te Ata that Hollywood and Broadway would come calling, but she must remember her Chickasaw heritage because it was the story she was meant to voice. Mary saw Clyde off at the train station to return to New York, and he gave her some letters from Margaret that he almost forgot about because the mail was in his coat pocket. He left and still didn’t have an answer from TB about marrying his love. In Mary’s stack of mail was an invitation to the White House to attend the first day dinner with President Roosevelt.Mary and Bertie were happy. As Mary lay with her dad on his bed, Mary declared that she wouldn’t go unless he promised he wouldn’t die in her absence because he never told her that he attended her performance. TB apologized to Mary for not supporting her over the years and revealed that the elder at the first stomp dance Mary went to told TB that Mary would be a storyteller before the lightning and rain came. TB didn’t approve of all the places that Mary visited, but she had dad’s blessing to go to the White House. He told his daughter that she would send the message that the Chickasaw were forever an undying tribe and unconquered people, and then she would return to plan her 1933 wedding. On the train to Washington DC, Mary saw the white dog again. Mary arrived in spring of 1933 and she wore a pretty red dress and was greeted by Eleanor Roosevelt inside the White House. The first lady announced to Mary that she would be spending the night in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House. Senator Judd introduced himself and the two women informed him he would find out soon enough about Te Ata’s people. Mary settled into her room and told Lincoln there was an Indian girl in the White House and she was glad Lincoln was there with her. That night at her White House performance, Te Ata dressed up in her native costume to act out and tell the story of how the white dog led the Chickasaw and Choctaw to split into two powerful nations. The movie ended with words about how Ababinili would forever keep the story going for the Chickasaw people. Te Ata and Clyde were married in Muskogee, Oklahoma, in 1933. She continued to perform throughout the US for schoolchildren, as well as people in Europe and the Americas. Eleanor Roosevelt christened Lake Te Ata in New York State in 1932 in honor of Te Ata’s camp programs for inner city children. In 1939, Queen George and Queen Elizabeth of England visited President and Mrs. Roosevelt at their Hyde Park home where Te Ata gave the royals from abroad a private performance. Te Ata was inducted into the Oklahoma Hall of Fame in 1957, became Oklahoma’s first official State Treasure in 1987 and was inducted into the Chickasaw Hall of Fame in 1991. Te Ata’s uncle Douglas Henry Johnston served as governor of the Chickasaw Nation from 1898 to 1902 and 1904 to 1939. When he died, he was considered by the US House of Representatives to be a great leader among the Indian people. Te Ata’s dad spent his whole life serving the Chickasaw people. The Code of Indian Offenses was amended to legalize under federal law Native American cultural beliefs and traditions. Since the beginning of Oklahoma statehood, Chickasaws weren’t allowed to hold tribal elections again until 1971. Leading up to her death before her 100th birthday, Te Ata continued to be a voice for the American Indians and tell their aboriginal tribal stories. 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/31/25

TITLE: My Best Friend 

BOX OFFICE RATED: G (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2016 Lionsgate / Picture Stable Productions / MBF Productions, LLC / Grindstone Entertainment

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie took place in California. It began with tween friends Kristen Jenson and Ashley going shopping alone around the city at Fred and Betty’s thrift store using babysitting money. They both agreed that Mrs. Johnson needed a makeover. They went back to Kristen’s apartment home that had no parental supervision to paint designs on t-shirts and play with their horse figurines named Edwina and Rupert that they bought. Three months later, Kristen and her dad Allen moved out of their city apartment to Grandma Pearl’s place in the country. Kristen would ride horses there, and Ashley was jealous and the two girls would miss each other. When father and daughter arrived at Summer Star Ranch, Pearl showed Kristen the animals and reintroduced her to Bo the ranch hand that Kristen hardly remembered. Kristen noticed the animals acting strange and thought they were talking to each other. Pearl whisked Kristen off to meet Standford, a giant black Friesian horse, and commented that Kristen had no sense of style even though she prided herself on her clothes. Allen was then reacquainted with his old high school sweetheart friend Sandra Powell, who worked as Pearl’s manager for the past three years. Allen informed Sandra that his nerdy computer business didn’t work out, so he moved back to the country to live with his mom. Kristen wasn’t happy to see her dad with Sandra and was unfriendly to her, so Pearl took Kristen to her new room. Pearl put country clothes from her attic that she approved of in Kristen’s dresser. Kristen planned to decorate her room after receiving Pearl’s approval. The adults downstairs then discussed the letter they received from the county tax office concerning the property and their financial issues. The office gave them a deadline of three months, so Allen planned to look into it. Kristen soon discovered that she had no cell phone service on her own cell phone and couldn’t text Ashley, and she was horrified to learn that grandma’s house only had a landline to access the internet through a computer. Kristen did farm chores and mucked out the stalls and was clearly unhappy that Sandra galloped around on Standford. Kristen went into the pony Chocolate Syrup’s stall, and Ace the dog knocked Kristen over into a pile of horse poop. Bo appeared to help Kristen, and she thought the animals sabotaged her so Bo advised her that the animals were good listeners. The phone inside the house rang so Allen answered it and told the Spanish-speaking relativesthat he only spoke English, so he gave the call to Pearl since she spoke Spanish. Pearl got off the phone and told her son that she was flying to Spain to take care of her sick Aunt Ruby. Before Pearl left, she had a heart-to-heart with Kristen and explained that Aunt Ruby was like her mother and raised her after her mom died at the same age that Kristen’s mom did at four years old. Pearl needed to say goodbye to Ruby, and she told Kristen she would be fine with the animals as long as she stayed in charge. Pearl gave Standford to Kristen as a gift before Allen drove her to the airport. On Kristen’s first day of school at Ridgeview (the Bobcats), Amber, Shasta and Naomi introduced themselves. They gave Kristen advice about not filling her locker so full and fitting in by changing her wardrobe. After school, Kristen fed Syrup on the ranch and a boy her age named Zach appeared and introduced himself. Zach was jealous that Pearl gave Standford to Kristen because he liked the horse. He told Kristen not to ride Syrup anymore or she would break the pony’s back, and he assured Kristen that she could ride Standford with a few pointers from him. Zach left with Bo to show off his roping skills that Bo taught him. Bo came back and confirmed that Syrup was too small for Kristen to ride and then took her to Standford’s stall to groom the big horse. Kristen was interrupted when a coyote appeared outside in broad daylight and scared the chickens. Kristen dropped everything and ran outside to throw rocks at the coyote and scare it off. When she returned to the stall, Standford had his leg tangled in a rope so Kristen freed him. Standford then revealed that he could talk, and he thanked Kristen for helping him and explained that only she and Pearl could understand him. Kristen thought she was going crazy, and Standford told her that the barn theatrics among the animals were about the same as the drama with the kids at school. The cowgirl wannabes visited Kristen again at her locker and didn’t think much of the thrift store outfit she designed. Amber invited Kristen to a back-to-school party at her house, and Kristen planned to ask her dad. The girls left and invited Zach to the party, and then he offered to take Kristen to the party with him. Kristen made plans for Zach and his dad to pick her up without talking to her dad about it first. That night, Kristen was upset that Allen invited Sandra to eat dinner with them. Kristen believed that the girls’ clothes that Pearl left in her dresser were outdated by many years, so she wanted new country clothes to fit in with the other kids at school. Allen then dropped a bombshell and announced that he was going back to the city for two or three weeks to close his business. Kristen had to stay at the ranch because she was in school, and Sandra would take care of Kristen in Allen’s absence since she worked at the ranch and had her office in the house every day. Kristen left the table in tears, and Allen explained to Sandra that Kristen’s mom died when she was four. They discussed how Allen dumped Sandra after high school when he went off to college be a computer geek. He apologized for not handling their relationship better, and Sandra didn’t think Allen had changed much because he didn’t try to console his daughter. Kristen talked to Standford about how she had no friends and her clothes that were considered designer in the city were wardrobe malfunctions in the country. Standford advised Kristen that she could design clothes well anywhere and be creative with what she had since she had no money for new clothes. Kristen then got to work and took Pearl’s 80’s clothes out of the dresser and modernized them with her Bedazzler and sewing machine. Kristen got compliments at school about her outfit, and Amber and her BFFs weren’t happy about it. Sandra gave Kristen riding lessons on Standford and offered her to help with her homework if needed, but Kristen was rude and wouldn’t answer. Standford called Kristen out for disrespecting Sandra, so she had a friendly conversation with the horse. She confided in Standford that she had a crush on Zach, and she didn’t want a mom and felt that Sandra was trying to be that. Kristen told Standford about her plans for the upcoming party, and then stranger Ed Gruber from Valcon Oil appeared in the barn and introduced himself. Kristen pointed Ed to Bo since Pearl was away. Ed told Bo that the neighbors’ property was located on top of a goldmine and they had to do fracking in order to get to the oil. Ed explained that they needed sand and water to frack, and the neighbors had no water supply but Pearl did. Ed wanted to purchase mineral rights to Pearl’s land so his company could use the water supply underground. Bo didn’t think that Pearl and Sandra would be interested because the machinery would disturb the animals, but Ed argued that it would be in everyone’s best interest to think about it because there were millions of dollars involved. Bo agreed to talk to Sandra, so Ed gave his business card and left. Kristen showed up at the party in one of her customized outfits, and it was an improvement that the mean girls didn’t like. Kristen did a solo dance that got applause from the other kids, which further irritated Amber and company. Amber then grabbed Zach and danced with him, so Kristen stormed off and called Ashley because Amber’s home had better phone reception. Cindy answered the phone and informed Kristen that Ashley was going out with her friend Leila. Ashley didn’t want to take the call, but Cindy insisted so Ashley said a few words to Kristen and then hung up. The kids line-danced together, and Kristen watched from the sidelines because she didn’t know how to country dance. Kristen then called Sandra to get a ride home, and Sandra quoted Uta Hagen that being normal didn’t let you be extraordinary. Sandra revealed that she used to take acting classes at the Chameleon Theater Company and traveled with them on the road for six months. She didn’t like it, so she never pursued a career in acting and decided that horses and the country were for her. Kristen later got more advice from Standford, who told her to not worry about Ice Queen Amber stealing boyfriend Zach. Boys tended to like shiny things until they saw what was underneath the surface, and Kristen had more to offer Zach than conniving Amber. The horse then taught Kristen how to line-dance. Allen called from the city and told Sandra that in his mom’s will that Pearl was leaving the ranch to Allen and Kristen, and Sandra would still be the manager but would also own the horse training business portion. Allen tried to ask Sandra out on a date, but she was distracted when she opened a bill from the county tax office and it was a huge amount owed. She hung up and Allen was put off by her lack of interest in him romantically. Bo then appeared and told Sandra about Gruber and Valcon Oil as they walked to the horseback riding lesson that Sandra was teaching. Bo told Sandra that people weren’t taking riding lessons like they used to and the ranch was having hard times, and Sandra was concerned that fracking would contaminate the ground water for the animals. She brushed it off as not being the answer to their problems, but she agreed to talk to Allen about it. Sandra then left Alice and her daughter Shelby to walk Syrup around the arena before their lesson so she could run back inside and have a video chat with Allen about Valcon Oil and saving the ranch. Ace the dog and Duke the bull talked to each other about how all the cattle on the ranch where Duke used to live died from poisoned water when the oil company did fracking. Kristen talked to Standford about not being able to call Ashley and tell her about the country life using her cell phone. Bo came by, and Kristen explained that she didn’t want to use the house phone because Sandra was there. Bo suggested that Kristen ride the short distance to the top of Paso Ridge where Zach frequented to get cell service. Kristen bribed Standford with carrots to take her to the ridge, and they agreed not to tell Sandra. As it turned out, Sandra and Allen felt the same way and didn’t believe fracking was a good idea, but Allen would look into Valcon Oil anyway. He and Sandra agreed to have dinner together. Kristen ran into Zach on his horse Gibby on the way to the ridge, and he decided to accompany Kristen off the ranch property when he found out that Sandra didn’t know that Kristen was leaving the property. After they arrived at the ridge, Kristen got cell service and sent a picture of Zach to Ashley via text. She explained to Zach that she missed thrift shopping, Indian food and Vietnamese food most about the city, but she loved her grandmother, her horse and the ranch. Zach said that he had never left the country and he liked cowboy stuff and his mom and dad. After Kristen and Zach returned to the ranch, they lied to Sandra that they were riding out of sight on the ranch and she told them not to ride where she didn’t have a visual of them or far from hearing distance. Kristen apologized to Sandra for being out of earshot, and then the two made plans to go shopping for boots the next day. Ed appeared again, and Sandra informed him that she ran the ranch but they weren’t interested in fracking and the owners weren’t available to talk. Standford felt unappreciated because Kristen snubbed him for a ride and the young girl planned to ride double on Gibby with Zach. The two soon had a picnic, and Zach wrote a song and sang it to Kristen while he played his guitar. Kristen later tried to talk to Standford, but the horse turned his behind to her and ignored her. Ed and Bo met up, and Ed the lying weasel Ed tried to convince Bo that the county office maps showed that the fence line for Pearl’s property was wrong and needed to be fixed in the southwest corner where the water supply was located. Slow Bo didn’t look at the map and took the slick-talking, sharp-dressed man’s word for it that the boundary fence he put up ten years ago was wrong even though he thought it was right when he did it. Ed said he knew the neighbor and didn’t think he or the county would be happy they were using his property even though it actually belonged to Pearl. Ed used financial reasons and penalties to scare Bo into moving the fence line without telling anyone, and Bo didn’t want Sandra and Pearl to get into trouble so he agreed to go with Ed to the neighbor’s property the following day. Kristen went to Sandra for advice on how to make room in her life for her boyfriend Zach and her horse Standford without upsetting anyone. The two females hugged it out after their conversation. After that, Kristen went to the field to draw a picture of Standford. He turned around so she could sketch his good side and not his backside, and they made amends over a few honey crisp apples. At school, Amber asked Zach to go to the movies with her and a friend but he declined. Amber wasn’t happy to see Zach walk to Kristen’s locker, and so Amber eavesdropped on them making plans to ride double on Standford to Paso Ridge while Sandra was out of town. Zach left, and Amber was fake nice to Kristen until Kristen left. Amber then told her squad that Zach blew her off and she wanted to get revenge by taking pictures of him and Kristen on the ridge to get them in trouble. After Sandra left the ranch, Ed and Bo left also to fix the fence before she came back later that afternoon. Duke overheard and wasn’t happy. Ed and Bo loaded up the truck and took Ace with them. As they finished up, Bo wanted to tell Sandra and Pearl about them moving the fence line. Ed wasn’t happy and told Bo to go up on the ridge and dig one more hole six feet long, three feet wide and six feet wide. Bo was skeptical but agreed to do it, and Ace the dog overheard and returned to the ranch. Ace talked to the animals and then went to find Standford so they could save Bo from the murderous Ed.Meanwhile, Kristen and Zach left riding on Standford and Amber followed them through the woods on foot with her camera and binoculars. Amber tried to make her way down the ravine, but then donkey Amber fell and got her leg stuck under a big rock. Kristen and Zach heard Amber’s screams for help, and they were able to easily remove the rock from her foot by lassoing it and having Standford pull it off. Amber admitted that she was spying on them and apologized for trying to get them in trouble with their parents because she was jealous. Ace the dog arrived and told Standford the horse that Bo was in trouble, and Kristen translated. Zach and Kristen rode Standford to the top of the ridge with the binoculars to find Bo on the southwest side. Kristen immediately recognized that Ed made Bo dig a grave for himself after moving the boundary fence line. Sandra returned to the ranch to find Bo and Kristen missing with Bo’s tire tracks leading away from the ranch. She called 911 to report them as missing. Bo took a break from digging to get water, and Ed tried to hit him in the head with a shovel but Bo caught it and they fought over the deadly weapon. Zach and Kristen galloped off on Standford to get to the two men, who fell to the ground when Ace arrived with the kids on horseback. Allen then appeared out of the blue from the city and wrestled with Ed and the shovel until Ed fell into the grave. Sandra arrived with the sheriff who arrested Ed. Kristen had a video-chat with Pearl, who explained that Aunt Ruby was getting better and Pearl would come home soon. Sandra, Allen and Kristen planned to attend a community dance together. Kristen went to the barn to say goodnight to Standford while Sandra and Allen discussed how the cash settlement from Valcon Oil left Allen with enough money and then some to pay off the ranch. Allen and Sandra kissed, and he didn’t plan to go back to the city because he was now a country boy. Kristen told Standford that he was now her BFF and then left him to go dancing. Shelby and Alice left the ranch too, and Standford spoke to Shelby on her way out. The movie cover art listed, The Dove Foundation, “A wholesome movie that the entire family will enjoy.” 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/28/25

TITLE:  Guinevere 

BOX OFFICE RATED: PG (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 1994 Hearst Entertainment / Weintraub / Kuhn Productions / Lietuvos Kino Studios / Alexander / Enright and Associates / Lifetime TV Networks

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie took place in ancient Britain. It started with Princess Guinevere’s mother, the queen, dying when Guinevere was five years old. Guinevere’s father, the King Leodagan

of the Camelot midlands, was always busy with the many ongoing wars. Thus, little Guinevere was sent to a sanctuary to be raised where other young princes and princesses. The young priestess, Morgan L’Fei, singled Guinevere out for special attention when she arrived. As a teen, Guinevere kept her hair cut short. She admired Lancelot and had swordfights with him. One day, as Guinevere and Lancelot kissed by the lakeside, a male pilgrim visited the wooded children’s home and took them back to the sanctuary. The kids of all ages gathered around and the pilgrim told the story of how only a 15-year-old boy named Arthur Pendragon was able to pull the sword out of the stone when all the men failed. Arthur then became Britain’s crowned king. Morgan questioned whether Arthur would bring peace to their land because she claimed that rape, adultery and murder was involved in Arthur’s bloodline. Guinevere privately told the pilgrim that she was studying science and math on her own in addition to her curriculum so she could bring knowledge to her kingdom of Camelot when she returned. Camelot was not a small plot of land because it controlled all routes north and south and even the Romans wanted it but never took it. Guinevere explained that Arthur had his work cut out for him to fix things because the areas surrounding Camelot were full of chaos and Christianity. Morgan found the children playing with a knife in a loaf of broad like the sword in a stone. The high Priestess told the kids they didn’t need another male hero and instead they should go back to worshipping the goddess of the earth like in Britain’s old times. Morgan hated Christians because their God was male, and she believed that Arthur would continue piling up bodies in order to win wars and gain glory in his power while women were used only for reproduction and were silenced and had no power. Morgan summoned Guinevere and Lancelot to meet her at the Sacred Circle at midnight. Fires were lit at the circle in the woods when the teens showed up, and Morgan ordered the teens to kneel before her as she deemed herself to be the goddess. The adult female used her knife to cut the underside of Lancelot’s wrist at the vein and let his blood drip into a bowl. She reminded Lancelot that she saved him from the water and raised him as her son even though she didn’t birth him. Morgan predicted that Lancelot would one day be king, and she rubbed a signet ring in the blood on his wrist and then put it on his wedding finger. Morgan then cut open Guinevere’s vein on her wrist and addressed her as a priestess as the female teen’s blood dripped into the bowl. She predicted that when Guinevere became a woman, she would rule the land and have the power to stop the darkness. Morgan rubbed another ring in Guinevere’s blood and put it on her wedding finger. Guinevere’s ring represented the never-ending triple spiral of birth, life and death, and Lancelot’s ring represented the covenant of his honor to Morgan’s words. Morgan added her blood to the bowl; she swished it around and threw the mixed blood into the fire. She claimed that the trio’s blood and powers were united and they were unstoppable, and the plan was to defeat King Arthur and rule Britain. Morgan explained that her father was murdered and her mother was raped and forced to marry Arthur’s father. Morgan was supposed to be hanged at nine years old, but she was allowed to stay at the sanctuary as long as she never revealed her real name. Morgan announced that Guinevere and Lancelot would become king and queen of Britain and instructed the teens to have sex at a later time to sanctify their marriage. Guinevere questioned her father Leodagan not blessing her marriage to Lancelot, so Morgan explained that the vows were written in blood that night and king Leodagan would die and Guinevere would burn if he didn’t accept the marriage. Guinevere started her period and tried to hide it from Morgan because she wanted king Leodagan’s blessing first. However, Morgan found Guinevere washing the bloody rags and planned to begin the marriage ceremony. They then learned that riders came from Camelot arrived and were looking for Guinevere. Morgan hoped that it meant king Leodagan was dead. Morgan rode her horse off fast to meet the visitors at the sanctuary, and they were gone before Guinevere arrived on foot. Morgan informed Guinevere that king Leodagan wanted her to return to Camelot, but not before Morgan finalized the marriage between Guinevere and Lancelot and sent the Triple Spiral warriors to accompany the newlyweds. Morgan walked off. Guinevere then took Morgan’s saddled horse from one of the children and offered to put in the stable, but instead she rode off on the horse. Lancelot followed on his horse and knocked Guinevere to the ground because he was upset that she didn’t say goodbye to him. Guinevere wanted to denounce her crown so she and Lancelot could marry, but he argued that they couldn’t because he wasn’t of noble birth. Lancelot said he owed everything to Morgan because she saved his life from drowning and would proceed with her plans, but Guinevere didn’t agree. Morgan then appeared and told Guinevere that the dark ones would possess her life and the goddess would be angry with her if she left. Lancelot refused to stop Guinevere and she rode away, so Morgan slapped Lancelot and stormed off. Guinevere arrived at the castle in Camelot and her dad king Leodagan had a guest waiting who wanted to marry his teen daughter. Malcin, king of Gaul, corrected king Leodagan that he would have the Camelot kingdom either through marriage or by war. Malcin felt teen Guinevere up with dad in the room and told her father king to prepare the wedding before he left. Guinevere didn’t want to marry the much older and tyrant man king Malcin, and king Leodagan agreed and explained that he ordered her there to make time for more troops to arrive and battle king Malcin and his soliders. Leodagan and Malcin’s soldiers clashed and fought, and Guinevere helped nurse the king’s wounded soldiers afterward. She told Leodagan that she would marry the beast Malcin so nobody else would die, and Leodagan was thankful for it and planned to send a message to Malcin. Before that happened, six young men then showed up and told King Leodagan that they would fight with him, and he agreed and did not send the message of surrender. Leodagan fought alongside his men and king Leodagan killed in battle. Guinevere became the queen of Camelot. The young man in charge of the rogue soldiers wanted nothing more than to marry Guinevere. She didn’t know if he had a noble bloodline but agreed because he was valiant in defeating the enemy and she owed her kingdom and its entire people to him. Guinevere then discovered that her future husband to be was none other than King Arthur of Britain who out ruled her. Guinevere then visited Merlin, the man that raised Arthur. Merlin explained that he picked Guinevere to be Arthur’s queen because he believed that she could help them achieve their long-time goal of peace among the lands. Guinevere told Merlin that she had already fasted and was pure so Merlin instructed her to pray to the goddess under the full moon and prepare for her marital bed. That night under the moon in her wedding night garb, Guinevere told the goddess that she would be reborn into the goddess’ own image and become a woman after she had sex with Arthur. Two swordsmen then attacked Guinevere, and she killed one with her knife and then used his sword to finish off the other one. Arthur came running and was surprised that Guinevere had already handled herself well. He noticed that the men’s swords were different and wasn’t sure which kingdom they were from, and Guinevere realized that they were Morgan’s soldiers after she saw their Triple Spiral rings. Arthur and Guinevere had sex that night. The next day, Merlin showed up at the castle wearing a cross around his neck and informed Guinevere that the Bishops would be arriving and it was all the same god. She corrected him that it was the goddess, and Merlin told Guinevere that her life depended on her honoring the Christians in her kingdom even though she didn’t recognize their God. The bishops who would preside over the coronation arrived, and they declared that the marriage wasn’t valid in their eyes. They took Guinevere’s dagger, and Merlin told her that she wouldn’t need the weapon because she would have a protector assigned to her at all times. Merlin advised Guinevere that she needed to keep the peace between the Christians and the pagans so they could coexist. Merlin left, and Guinevere discovered that Lancelot was her protector. She believed that Morgan sent him to kill her, but Lancelot denied it and said that he couldn’t live without Guinevere. Minutes before her marriage vows to Arthur, Guinevere kissed Lancelot passionately. Guinevere confessed that she was in love with Lancelot and not Arthur. Lancelot asked Guinevere to run away with him before the crosses were used on her and the marriage was made official because they were meant to be together in the eyes of the goddess and the Christian god didn’t matter. Guinevere asked Lancelot to kiss her one last time because her marriage to Arthur would give her power to bring peace to the whole of Britain and Lancelot couldn’t interfere. Lancelot and Guinevere made out again and then Lancelot followed Guinevere as she walked up the aisle to Arthur, who crowned her queen of Britain. Months later, Arthur used force to get rid of the rebels and bring peace. Guinevere was heavily pregnant and followed Arthur wherever he went in battle because she demanded to be his equal. They were invited to take shelter at a local castle, where Arthur nodded to the two girls flirting with him as they ate supper. He put Guinevere to bed and told her that he was restless and needed to talk to his protector Gawain. However, the two females then led Arthur to a bedroom where Morgan was waiting for him to have sex. Guinevere had severe pains in the night and got up to find her husband in bed with Morgan having sex with the wicked female. Guinevere collapsed on the floor so naked Morgan told naked Arthur to leave so she could see to women things concerning his wife. After king Arthur left, Morgan told Guinevere that Guinevere was poisoned by Morgan according to the goddess’ will because it was Arthur’s child and not Lancelot’s. Morgan said that Morgan would soon be carrying Arthur’s childand declared that Guinevere and the baby inside her were both dying, so Guinevere hit Morgan with a candlestick holder and knocked her out. Guinevere managed to escape on horseback and made it back to a cottage in the woods, where a midwife delivered her baby girl alive. She left behind her gold jewelry as payment and told the midwife to raise the newborn as her own. Guinevere left and woke up in the castle, where Lancelot told her that everyone searched for her baby. Lancelot said the kingdom believed that the baby was born too early and was dead, but Lancelot assured Guinevere that the child was safe. Days later, Guinevere wasn’t pleased when Arthur sent Lancelot away so he could speak with her and his wife didn’t call for Lancelot instead of her husband. Lancelot apologized for his night with the woman whose name he couldn’t remember, and Guinevere enlightened her husband Arthur that he slept with his sister Morgan, the high priestess of Britain, and they might have a child as a result. Arthur wanted to have Morgan put to death, but Guinevere warned him that it was impossible because the pagans would come after him and start a civil war. Arthur told Guinevere that he heard that she could never have a child again because of the poisoning and early childbirth. Arthur confessed that he never met his father, and Merlin raised him and told him that the rumors about his dad raping the woman weren’t true but Arthur didn’t know what to believe. Guinevere told Arthur that they needed to be an example and set a higher standard for people to follow and teach others how to settle their differences in a non-violent way. However, Arthur wanted one more battle with Malcin so Guinevere stayed behind to protect Camelot and train with Merlin. In Arthur’s absence, Guinevere designed a round table for him. A soldier from Gaul arrived six months later and informed Guinevere that she would never see Arthur again because he was now Malcin’s prisoner and would die. The questionable Lancelot took the other warriors away and Malcin had Arthur’s warriors imprisoned in addition to king Arthur, so Malcin’s soldier advised Guinevere to concede. The solider added It was rumored that Arthur committed incest with his sister and now Malcin was claiming to be high king instead of Arthur. Guinevere refused to concede and sent word that she was the high queen of Britain and would kill Malcin herself if he harmed her husband. The soldier bowed to Guinevere and left. Soon after queen Guinevere met with a few men including Merlin. Merlin told Guinevere that the goal was always to be a peaceful kingdom and she could figure out a way to not use the weapons she carried and still save Arthur. Merlin pointed out that Guinevere was able to fool everyone into thinking the baby was dead when the infant girl was still alive. Merlin explained that the child belonged to Britain, but she would die if Guinevere claimed her so they must wait until the day the child returned to rule the kingdom in her dad’s footsteps. It was Guinevere’s turn to save her country, so Merlin told her to go with God and he was always with her. Guinevere picked up people along the way who were filling to fight for king Arthur.When they arrived, they learned that there was no way in or out except for one route and four others kings had joined Malcin in the fight. Guinevere didn’t want her men to be slaughtered, so that night she snuck through the enemy camp. She choked a guard and instructed him to tell Malcin that she wanted to speak to him alone outside. Malcin came with four other men and told them to have Guinevere strip-searched, so the cunning queen said that she would be his future wife and Malcin called them off. Guinevere made a deal with Malcin that if he released Arthur, she would come to Malcin willingly and give him as much of her kingdom of Camelot as Arthur had when he married her. When Malcin threatened to rape Guinevere and kill Arthur, she told him he would have no honor and the Saxons and other kingdoms would invade and wage war on Malcin when they discovered that he was a coward. Guinevere agreed that she would swear in the goddess’ name to whatever Malcin askedotherwise Arthur and Camelot would die. Guinevere went into a room to warm herself by the fire and found Lancelot there. Guinevere and Lancelot again made out passionately and then argued about how Lancelot would see Arthur dead and rescue Guinevere away from there so she could be the ruler because the people followed her and not Arthur,who was a warrior and was only concerned about fighting Guinevere argued with Lancelot that his plan wouldn’t work because he people would be murdered. Morgan then appeared and told Guinevere to leave Malcin to her, and Guinevere realized that Morgan set up Lancelot again for Morgan’s gain and Lancelot wasn’t there for Guinevere. Queen Guinevere tried to kill Morgan, but Lancelot held her back. Morgan told Guinevere that she was no different from Morgan because Guinevere wanted to be with Lancelot and Morgan wanted that for the two of them. Morgan told the two to leave while Morgan stayed behind to deal with the wrath of Malcin in the morning. Morgan left them alone again. Guinevere told Lancelot that he served her and not Morgan so he had to listen to her. She declared that Arthur would not die and Morgan would be defeated, and Lancelot must help fight for Arthur’s freedom. Once he was done he would be banished from the kingdom, so Lancelot agreed and hoped he would die in battle. Lancelot knelt to Guinevere, who said that her love would go with Lancelot when he left and then she told him her plan. The next morning, Guinevere arrived on horseback dressed as a bride in white and made her way down the hillside to Malcin below with the waiting crowd, including her husband. Arthur was held hostage on the back of a horse with his hands tied behind his back. Lancelot and the army then appeared at the top of the hill, and Guinevere told everyone gathered that they were one people and it was their choice to either be at peace or continue battling each other to their deaths. The other kings threw their swords down and declared that they didn’t want to be slaughtered. Morgan screamed to Malcin about the promise that he made to her, but he knew that he was outnumbered so he decided to release Arthur and his soldiers from their bondage. Guinevere told her husband Arthur it was time to go home as she looked the hero for rescuing him and they rode away from the battlefield and returned to the castle in Camelot. Guinevere received the message that Lancelot left the country and he sent her a white rose instead of words. Guinevere and Arthur showed up to a feast as high king and high queen, and she told her husband that Morgan and Lancelot were gone and could no longer interfere with their lives. Arthur was happy to hear that they could start again based on love even though Guinevere told Lancelot her heart would go with him. Guinevere narrated that Merlin died, Lancelot left the country and peace came to the Britain in the years that followed with Guinevere and Arthur being the pagan, not Christian, role models for everyone in all the years that followed. 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/26/25

TITLE:  God’s Not Dead: In God We Trust 

BOX OFFICE RATED: NR

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2024 Universal Studios / Pinnacle Peak Pictures / Great American Pure Flix

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 2

REASON: The movie began with Channel 4 breaking news reporting six weeks before Election Day that Arkansas congressional incumbent Rick West died of a heart attack. West’s opponent, Arkansas Senator Peter Kane, now ran for Congress unopposed and the debate was canceled. At a press conference, the reporters asked Kane about his plans to pass laws that restricted freedom of religion and support a large government but he wouldn’t answer. Kane went backstage where the debate would have been held and he had an alcoholic toast with the men. Kane was glad he didn’t have to debate West and could now proceed with his plot to reshape the nation by silencing religious Americans from their influencing laws and government. In Washington, DC, West’s staffers scrambled around to find a potential candidate to run against the atheist Kane because they believed that West would have won and had no backup plan. They were worried that the House would split and socialism would follow if Kane won. Congressman Daryl Smith watched a video of his friend Reverend David Hill, a pastor at St. Jude’s Church in Arkansas, giving a speech before Congress about the rights of the people. The reverend declared that government workers worked for the people and the monuments around the country recorded the history of how we became one nation under God. Smith’s coworkers agreed that pastor David would make a good candidate, and Smith planned to handle the campaign. Meanwhile in Arkansas, reverend David told Monica, an older teen girl with a newborn baby, that funding didn’t come through from the government so the St. Jude’s women’s center was closed. The girl didn’t want to stay at the unsafe city shelter with HIS newborn baby, so Monica left blaming the reverend for the free housing shutdown. David’s church assistant, Martin Yip (immigrant from China), informed David that he had 32 more families to break the news to that the government couldn’t help them financially. David told Martin that one of the women’s centers held a Bible study, so the government shut them down and revoked their grant claiming that they were using the grant money for religious instruction. Martin explained that 50 years ago, the Chinese government made up lies in order to persecute and kill the Christians, burn churches and destroy the faith and religion within the country. Martin believed that a similar cultural revolution was taking place in America, and he told David that he wasn’t paranoid and the mountains God put in his path could be moved. Daryl Smith met with Carlotta (Lottie) Jay and enlisted her help to promote and manage David’s campaign and get him ready to be a strong candidate in time for Election Day since Lottie did such a good job getting Smith elected to the House. Smith told Lottie that hiding in the mountains in her rustic cabin wouldn’t help either her or her young son, Chris, because they would all be doomed if socialism took over. Lottie was then told that her ex boyfriend John Wesley was now managing Kane’s campaign, and Smith asked Lottie to overlook her history with John so she could help her country defeat the ungodly Kane and his ungodly followers. That night, Lottie bargained with her around four-year-old son Chris that he could go to Disney World and stay with Aunt Ruby until Lottie returned from her government job. The following evening, St. Jude’s church held a fundraiser to benefit St. Jude’s women center. Lottie appeared and taught David how to beat the rigged ring toss game. She explained that they wanted David to run against Kane because if Kane won, he would cut funding for daycares, nursing homes and religious institutions. Lottie encouraged David to run with the incentive of him getting more money for his charities as a politician. David declined because he was a small-town pastor with no political experience, and Lottie believed it was what the nation needed and added that she wasn’t leaving until the following morning in case David changed his mind and left her political consultant business card with him that had her contact information. Lottie ran into John Wesley at her hotel, and he told her she was fat even though she was super skinny and razzed her about her being on medication. She tried to get away from the John before he could insult her further, but he questioned her about who she was scoping out. John announced that Kane was a slam-drunk and John would go on vacation in the South of France after his candidate won. David called Daryl to get the real scoop as to why he was selected for the candidacy. Daryl explained that other candidates wouldn’t risk their careers for a three-week run because it was costly and a loss could damage their reputation. Daryl told David that he was a pastor and told the truth all the time and had daily religious beliefs that he lived by, which was rare in politics and was needed to help the country be a better place. David had doubts that the job was for him, so Daryl advised him to pray about it. The next morning, David went to the Hope Springs Airport before Lottie boarded her plane and told her he was in because you can’t win unless you play. Lottie insisted that David follow her rules so he could win the race and save the country. They worked out some details at St. Jude’s church, and then Lottie told David to clear his calendar for the next two years. She left with her ride Tom and text Daryl that David was on their team. John called Kane and told him that David was his new opponent, so they planned to push “separation of church and state” in order to take reverend David out. A local bigwig Marc Shelley got a call concerning David replacing West in the race, and Marc told the caller he wouldn’t fund David’s campaign because the replacement guy was highly religious. That night, Mike Huckabee hosted Rev. David and the Newsboys as guests on his show. Lottie received a photo from her sister Ruby of Chris posing with the castle at Disney World. Lottie had told David to stick to the script before he went live, but he didn’t. Huckabee pointed out that there were more ordained ministers on both sides of the House today than ever before in US history. David spoke his piece about how people were looking for a Christian-based society especially after surviving a pandemic and recession. Mike Huckabee warned pastor David to be careful about what he said because it would get him into hot water after they discussed separation of church and state. Kane then ran a political commercial calling Christians xenophobic, misogynistic and extremists with his opponent reverend David being his target. Lottie chewed David out for going rogue and letting Kane twist his words since David was running to be a congressman and not the Pope. The team decided that John had something up his sleeve so they assigned Lottie to figure out what it was and get something on Kane in return. Kane refused to listen to John’s advice because he believed he had already won. David and Kane were supposed to have a live debate on the Lowdown with Larry podcast, but only Kane was in the studio while David was in his St. Jude church office so Kane looked more professional to the viewers. Lottie tried to call John, but he was at the studio and wouldn’t answer her. The atheist Kane made it clear during the debate that the country should be run by scholars and academics, not a clergymen who believed in God (who Kane called the bogeyman) or had moral values based on the Ten Commandments that our nation was built upon. Kane accused David of creating laws based on fear, ignorance and irrationality and believed that the citizens of Arkansas would be worse off if they had to live righteously according to the laws of God and be held accountable for their sins on a daily basis instead of just Sunday service. John decided to end the interview after Kane asked David who died and left him in charge of other people’s morality because Kane took offense to the reverend using the Bible to determine what was right and wrong for everyone. David tried to reply that the only hope most Christians had was their belief in Jesus Christ to help them fix the broken world. Lottie told David that he blew it because his opponent set him up for failure and shut off his mic when they ended the interview early. Lottie freaked out because Kane seemed to be in the lead, and her assistant Sam told David that the person who spent the most money won the election. David didn’t understand why so much money was being spent to make the people vote for a candidate when they should all run honest campaigns that cost little money. David and Lottie argued about how the only way they could win was by spending their money to dig up dirt on Kane and use it to their advantage. They had to convince voters not to vote for Kane if David was thrown under the bus. Lottie stormed off ranting about beating John Wesley, and Sam wondered why Lottie had a personal vendetta against John and wanted to beat him more than Kane. Myra informed David that Lottie and John worked together in the past, when she thought of him as a mentor and he thought of her as a way to get inside information. John used Lottie sexually to win an election against her candidate, and after John’s candidate won everyone thought Lottie was a disgrace so her career was ruined and she left town since John Wesley wanted nothing else to do with her after he got what he wanted from Lottie. Meanwhile, John harassed Lottie during a phone call and asked for more sex in a shady part of town after he refused to give her the debate he promised. He told her to quit while she was losing because she could never win and would just suffer another devastating defeat like the last time. Lottie met with Marc in his high-rise office to discuss how his construction project was at a standstill and he needed the help of a newly elected official to get it moving again since Marc had gambled on West to do that until he died. Marc told Lottie that he would fund reverend David’s campaign in return for removing the red tape and letting him get to work on his project. Lottie told David the plan, and they went to dinner at an expensive restaurant to celebrate the substantial amount of money given for the campaign. She explained that Marc’s money was put into a C4 social welfare organization and it didn’t have to be spent on the campaign. Lottie asked David to stop talking about God and start trashing Kane so they would have a chance of winning. David called Lottie out on her hate for John and how it interfered with her loving God. In her hotel room that night, Lottie took her complimentary Bible from the hotel nightstand and prayed for victory over John Wesley and asked God to make him suffer as he made her suffer. Lottie’s sister Ruby then called and told Lottie that doing her government job wasn’t going to bring closure to her relationship with John and her life was with Chris in the mountains. Ruby advised Lottie to forgive John and then put Chris on the phone to say goodnight to Lottie. With 34 days until the election, Kane was in the lead with 64% compared to David’s 36%. The volunteers replaced all of West’s signs around town with signs for David Hill, and David spoke to people on the street about his campaign. Nineteen days before the election, David was closing the lead on Kane and gaining the support of the voters and positive press coverage in the news. John reported to Kane that the reverend’s financials were publicly filed and they learned that Marc was backing David’s campaign like he did for West. John warned the senator to stop thinking he had the win in the bag because people loved an underdog story and the reverend had an unlimited amount of funds with Marc in his pocket. John advised Kane to hold a debate where they could control the outcome like they did with the first staged interview. Twelve days before the election, Tom chauffeured David to the studio for the debate. Lottie didn’t like David’s tie and insisted that he switch ties with Tom. David shook hands with his opponent and the moderator Ron Franklin and then the congressional debate concerning the role of government and church vs. state was aired live on Channel 4. Kane opened that there was no place for God in our country for a pastor in government, and David believed that big government spread like cancer. David schooled Kane that it wasn’t nationalism to pray at a football game or for parents to be concerned about the material their children were reading in books at school. Ron changed the topic to healthcare. Kane believed it was the government’s responsibility to provide universal healthcare. David countered that it would create more debt and increase the deficit, so he wanted affordable care in place of the high-cost, out-of-control healthcare industry that bankrupted citizens and prevented “We The People” from living the American dream. David declared that the country was founded on Christian values, and Kane argued that the idea that we live in a Christian nation was false. He had a problem with the phrase “In God We Trust,” so David told him to spend less of the money if he didn’t like it and help the nation be in less debt. David told Kane that he was a power-hungry activist who wasn’t concerned about the Founding Fathers’ Christian principles that birthed the country. During the break, Lottie told David to stop the God talk so he accused her of sounding like Kane. David argued that God can’t be silenced, but Lottie advised David to drop God and start talking negative about Kane because that strategy won campaigns. Kane then approached David and called him out for making Kane look like a fool on live TV. Senator Kane threatened to change history and make it his long-term goal to kill off Christianity within the USA. John and Kane watched the debate later that night, and John figured out that Lottie knew they had a chance to win and would go negative. John asked Kane what skeletons he had in his closet that Lottie could dig up and use against him and he replied none. David left a message for Daryl to call him back because David didn’t want to go against his religious beliefs and win a race by irreversibly smudging someone else’s character in a public setting even though Lottie was pressuring him to do it (that may be how Lottie won the campaign for Daryl’s congressional win). Lottie tried to get multiple website links to their campaign website to boost their media. Soon after, Lottie received champagne and an Eiffel Tower postcard from John in her hotel room to mess with her head.Lottie then got an anonymous text that her laundry was done so she ran out to pick up the dirt her informant collected on Kane. Tom drove Lottie to the Laundromat and met up with an unknown woman with a UK accent. The female was skeptical of the dirt that she gave Lottie and warned her to be careful how she used it on Kane. Lottie read the documents and then gave the file to reverend David at St. Jude’s church and explained that when Kane was an attorney, he used his offshore bank accounts to bribe a judge to significantly decrease his client’s money laundering prison sentence from 25 years to six months. Lottie’s assistants eavesdropped, and she was ecstatic because she knew that David would win the election and become St. David the Congressman once the press got ahold of the information. Pastor David thought it was unethical and told Lottie to destroy the papers because he wanted to win the right way if it was God’s will and not use dirty laundry to oust his opponent. Dave stopped by the St. Jude’s shelter, where Monica explained that all the women and their families were ordered to move out in a few days so the building could be closed. They had no safe place to go, and Monica told David it was his fault for being too busy with his campaign. Eight days before the election, Tom’s Transit dropped David off, but before the pastor exited the vehicle Tom told him that he didn’t vote because it was useless but he planned on joining David’s St. Jude church. At the office, everyone was gathered around the live TV where John Wesley reported that the bank statements the Hill campaign released against Kane were all forged documents and there was no truth to what Kane was accused of. John apologized to the people of Arkansas that had their faith in the good reverend crushed once again. Everyone then looked at Lottie as the one who leaked it to the press, and she argued that she didn’t do it and asked Myra to back her. Myra remained silent, so Lottie decided to resign the following day and left. David told Sam to quit as well because he didn’t give Lottie the benefit of the doubt. John and Kane drank hard liquor to their success by planting the fake information to win the election. Marc wouldn’t answer his phone calls when he watched the disaster unfold on TV, and Lottie cried to Ruby on the phone in her hotel room. Ruby told Lottie to come home because hurting John wasn’t the answer and she belonged in the mountains. David asked Myra to get ahold of Lottie. Pastor David stayed late at St. Jude’s church and read a letter from the city that they would condemn the shelter if he didn’t get it up to code. Martin was there and handed David a letter from the board as the church officials suspended David from his church duties so he could no longer preach at St. Jude’s. Martin Yip then collected David’s keys to St. Jude’s church and took over.  David told Tom outside that he would walk home. He saw that the St. Jude’s women center had been condemned, and Kane’s political banners were around the building. Daryl showed up at David’s home door that night, and David vented his frustration to Daryl that he could face criminal charges and be forced to move to find a new job since he couldn’t reopen the women’s shelter. Daryl brought a few lodgepole pinecones and told David that the cones had to burn in hot fire in order to grow because they were protected by a hard shell and sap. Daryl informed David that 40 million Christians didn’t vote and 15 million weren’t even registered to vote because they had lost faith in their country and the people representing them. Daryl believed the people needed to start over and put Christians in government office positions to lead the way as our Founding Fathers intended. Even the non-believers would welcome David and his belief because the country was wrecked. The next day at the office, Myra and Sam advised reverend David to lie that he didn’t know about the Kane file and throw Lottie under the bus because he had no chance of winning. David declared that regardless of the outcome, he would be truthful and tell the people what he knew. He decided not to spend any more on the campaign and told the others not to either and believed that it was God’s will if he won the election. Pastor David then addressed the press gathered outside and announced that he was staying in the race because the system was broken and he was the one to fix it. He apologized to Kane and wanted him to honor the terms of their original agreement to have one more debate. Senator Kane watched from his high dollar mansion and threw a hissy fit because the pastor wouldn’t stay dead. Lottie checked out of her hotel and had Tom take her to David’s office so she could deliver her resignation and then head to the airport. Tom questioned why Lottie was giving up when David wasn’t since the election wasn’t over and told her that running away didn’t solve anything. Tom’s words got through to Lottie, so she went to Marc’s office and confronted him. John Wesley sent the Kane story to Marc, so Marc went public with it and got into the news and made David look bad for lying to everyone. Marc had no idea that it was a setup, and Lottie told him that it was reverend David’s career that he damaged and not to worry about her own. The Newsboys prayed for David as they watched on TV and learned from the Internet that the reverend was set up. Kane told John that he would look weak if he didn’t debate David and make an example out of him for what the people did to him in court. Kane was adamant that he would do the debate even though John advised against it. Lottie showed up at the campaign office and informed David that Marc sent the false information to the press and she didn’t betray him. Lottie confided in David that John told her to get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with his child, so she took care of it by moving to the mountains and raising Chris alone. Lottie admitted that she wanted to beat John and not help David win the election, and she apologized for bringing David into it. Reverend David had a heart-to-heart with Lottie and told her that talking to God and knowing Jesus is there to help when you are afraid, alone, hurt and poor is God’s way and we must encourage others to believe in Him in order to get through our storms in life. He added that we have to get out of the boat when it’s sinking and walk on water with Jesus, otherwise we’ll die and only our hope in God will save us. Two days before the election, supporters of both David and Kane attended the live debate. Ron was the moderator again, and it was said that the Arkansas debate was pivotal for the whole country and not just the state. Moments before the debate started, Kane tried to bribe David into conceding to him by offering to restore everything that was lost along the way. Kane would get funding for the women’s center, get David’s job back at St. Jude’s and tell the press that David didn’t spread the lies about Kane’s bribes. Lottie walked in, and witnessed as Kane told David to surrender and turn the other cheek because the nation was counting on him. John text Lottie asking her to join him in France, and then the debate began. Kane commented that reverend David played the God card and reminded him that God wasn’t on the ballot. David stated that we already lost prayer in schools and if we lose a government that’s based on Christian principals, we’d be a living hell and could look at China, North Korea and European socialist countries as examples to that. David schooled Kane that Jesus is the center of the teachings of Jesus and asked why politicians murdered Jesus again in their campaigns every four years and then uses small Bible verses on their social media to excel their questionable political agendas. Kane claimedthat the Founding Fathers, not God, gave us universal human rights to build America with. The senator quoted part of the Declaration but he left out the God part, so reverend David told him to finish the quote. He used Kane’s words “America’s crowning achievement” against him because God is the glory our country was founded upon and Jesus, God’s son, and Jesus is our only redeemer (and not just a prophet like other foreign religions believe) and therefore we live in one nation under God and will always do so because the USA is built upon Christian values with the blood of Jesus in the foundation. David told the people that the people had the power to change the corruption within our government and not the political candidates. It starts with God and up to the people to elect into office HIS honest candidates based on their beliefs and true character. David encouraged everyone to fight for Jesus, stand up for God’s people, and not let them be silenced by the dangerous imposters far from HIM who corruptly rule for power and greed and tear the country apart from within. He told every citizen to use their vote to make a difference and help themselves, their families, and their country. John texted Lottie about France again, but it was never received because she blocked his phone number. David received a standing ovation, and ungodly Senator Kane walked out. It was stated that after many recounts, the election results came back the following morning after the election that Reverend David won. Congressman David then arrived at the grand opening of the women’s center with his security, and Martin took over as lead pastor of St. Jude’s. David told Monica that Marc funded the new house built for the women’s shelter because the law allowed them to spend campaign contribution money on such things. In the end, Lottie returned to her backwoods cabin with her son except now she read the Bible. 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/25/25

TITLE:  Dallas Buyers Club 

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for God’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2013 Universal Pictures Focus Features / Truth Entertainment / Voltage Pictures / R2 Films / Evolution Independent 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie was inspired by true events and takes place in Texas in 1985. It began with cowboy Ron Woodroof having sex with a female behind the gate near the rodeo arena as a cowboy fell off his horse and lay motionless in the dirt. Ron swindled money from the men in the back and told them that Rock Hudson was gay according to the newspaper as Ron coughed, smoked and drank hard alcohol. After Ron’s friend did poorly in the bull ride, the cowboys chased Ron outside because Ron had bet their combined $650 on his friend winning. Ron asked his friend Tucker, a Dallas police officer, to arrest him in order to get away from the angry men. Officer Tucker refused, so Ron punched the cop in the face so Tucker did the same and gave Ron a bloody face. Tucker then handcuffed Ron and threatened to arrest the other men if they interfered. Tucker dropped Ron off in his police car at Ron’s mobile home instead of taking him to jail, and told Ron to get his life together. Ron believed that Tucker’s dad was disappointed in Tucker for being a cop. Ron went inside his house and passed out on the floor, and he woke up hours later and drank more alcohol. The next day, Ron and his coworkers, TJ and Clint hung out smoking dope at the oil drill place they worked. Clint wanted to work in Saudi Arabia because it paid much better than an American job even though it was a Muslim country and you couldn’t have sex with the women there. Ron wasn’t interested because he was a sex addict. Ron was called away from his buddies in order to check on an injured Hispanic man whose leg was caught in the drill. The foreman didn’t want to call an ambulance because he would get in trouble for hiring an illegal, but Ron insisted that he make the call and get the bloodied man some medical help. Ron was an electrician, and under the influence, and tried to turn off the power at the worksite, but sparks flew in his eyes and he ended up in the Dallas Mercy hospital. Dr. David Sevard and Dr. Eve Saks visited Ron in his room wearing masks and gloves and informed Ron that his blood work came back and Ron tested positive for the HIV/AIDS virus. Ron swore up a storm and told the doctors that he didn’t engage in homosexual activitybut wouldn’t say whether or not he used drugs. The doctors gave Ron some pamphlets to read about the disease and explained that his condition was serious and he had 30 days to live. However, Ron threw the papers back at them and left insisting that he wouldn’t die. Ron continued snorting drugs and having threesomes with multiple women, who were still getting dressed as his buddy TJ came into the house. He and Ron drank heavily together, and Ron explained about his HIV diagnosis and believed that the doctors mixed up his bloodwork with someone who had AIDS. TJ told about the time the doctor diagnosed him with chlamydia but he discovered that he had crabs when he went home. The two females left with TJwhile Ron stayed home and rested. Ron later visited the library and read up on AIDS in Time Magazine. Meanwhile at Dallas Mercy, Avonex Industries spokesman Rick Ferris pitched a test study for the reintroduced AZT drug, which failed previously as a treatment for cancer in humans because the dosage was inaccurate. They received FDA approvalto skip more animal testing and test the drug on patients at Dallas Mercy for the treatment of HIV. The doctors would be highly compensated for their efforts in testing the drug. Dr Eve was concerned about the ethics of the big drug pharmas giving huge bonuses to the doctors to push a questionable drug onto dying people when they couldn’t confirm that it treated the deadly disease. At the library, Ron discovered that drugs and unprotected sex were also causes of HIV, not just gay sex. He had flashbacks of all the times he had unprotected sex with women who had sores on their arms from using drugs and needles. Ron continued coughing uncontrollably and then screamed the f-word in the library when he realized that the doctors were right. He went to the hospital to see Dr. Sevard, but he was out so Ron made a scene and swore at Dr. Eve that he didn’t want her nursing advice. Dr. Eve swore back that she was a doctor and told Ron to come to her office. Ron told Dr. Eve that Avonex just released AZT for testing and he wanted to participate in the trial, but Dr. Eve informed Ron that he couldn’t buy AZT. She explained that the trial lasted a year and the test subjects were picked randomly. Half of them got AZT and the other half got sugar pills, and the doctors didn’t know who got what. Ron offered cash to buy the AZT but learned that it was unavailable until it was proven to be a cure for AIDS if ever by the FDA. Ron then asked about the Dextran Sulfate in Germany, the DDC in France and the AL721 in Israel, and Dr. Eve argued that the FDA didn’t approve those drugs in the US. She told Ron to meet with a support group at Draddy Auditorium to talk about his feelings, but Ron argued that he was dying and needed medical attention. Ron got some hard drinks from the bartender Neddie Jay and sat with his usual group of friends. Ron threw his lit cigarette at Clint and attacked him when he called Ron a faggot, and then Ron spit on Clint and TJ. He left f-ing everyone at the bar that backed away from him on his way out. Ron went to an Avonex meeting where Rick was speaking. Ron was immediately hit on by a gay man but told the man to go away, and then Ron left with a handful of brochures. Ron went to a strip club and swore at God asking for a sign if he had any chance to live because he was at his wits’ end. The female stripper danced in front of Ron. Ron recognized the hospital janitor sitting at the bar and spoke with him. Another day, at the hospital, the janitor left a bag of AZT in the dumpster out back as Ron hid nearby waiting. He retrieved the drugs after the janitor left and went home, where he took the pills with beer and then snorted cocaine. Ron went to work the next day but was bullied into leaving by TJ and Clint before he got out of his car. In the days that followed, Ron washed the pills down with alcohol whenever he felt like it. He collected more AZT from the hospital dumpster that the janitor left for him, frequented the strip club and continued to heavily use drugs and alcohol. On day 28, Ron met up with the janitor behind the Dallas Mercy hospital and gave him cash to pay for the drugs. The Hispanic worker explained that the AZT was now locked up and he couldn’t any more for Ron, but he wrote down the number of Dr. Vass in Mexico where Ron could get the drugs. Ron took a swing at the janitor but missed and collapsed. He woke up inside the hospital in a hospital bed, where Dr. Eve told him that he had a blood transfusion and almost died. Dr. Sevard questioned where Ron got the AZT that they found in his blood, and he denied knowing anything about it so Sevard reminded him that it was illegal to deal pharmaceutical drugs. The doctors left the room and Ron met his roommate Rayon, a transgender man with AIDs. When Ron found out Rayon had cash, the two played cards and Ron lost. Rayon was there for the AZT trial and his friend paid him $5,000 to split the drugs. Rayon refused to split his AZT dosage in threes to share with Ron. Ron walked out of the hospital telling Dr. Eve that he wouldn’t stay there to die. When Ron returned to the trailer park, he found the words, “Faggot blood” spray-painted on his mobile home and an eviction notice on the locked door. He used his shotgun to blow open the door, collected all the cash he had stashed around and then drove off to Mexico on day 29. He pulled over on the side of the road and broke down in tears and considered suicide with his handgun. Ron later arrived in Mexico on day 30 and went to the hospital to see Dr. Vass, who informed Ron that AZT was poison and they had none. The doctor’s license was revoked three years ago so he practiced medicine in Mexico. Dr. Vass assigned Ron to one of the vacant cots and reviewed all the narcotics in Ron’s system. Dr. Vass explained that the cocaine was breaking down Ron’s immune system and making him susceptible to infection, and the AZT was not a cure for HIV and was killing all the cells it came in contact with. Dr. Vass prescribed vitamins, zinc, aloe and fatty acids to build up Ron’s immune system. Back at Dallas Mercy, Eve took her mask off and talked with Rayon about him skipping his AZT appointment. They intimately held onto each other as she gave him tips on his plunging neckline so he could attract Dr. Marcus. Three months later, Dr. Vass informed Ron that his T-cells were improving, but he would always have HIV and now had chronic pneumonia because of all the drugs and alcohol he used that wore down his immune system. Dr. Vass gave Ron some DDC, which was less toxic then AZT, as well as Peptide T, a non-toxic protein that Ron had been given since he arrived in Mexico, but which couldn’t be purchased in the US. Ron took a look around and said there was a New World Order going around in the Mexican hospital with the homos, chinks, herbs and hot nurses. Ron told Dr. Vass that he could make a fortune off from his drugs, so they loaded up Ron’s car with the illegal drugs that Ron planned to sell in the US. Dr. Vass advised Ron not to tell anyone he had AIDs if he got caught because they wouldn’t let him back into the country. Ron donned a Catholic priest robe and drove to the border, where he lied that he had nothing to declare but he was detained anyway. Richard Barkley, an FDA agent, visited Ron and pointed out that he had 3,000 pills but was only allowed a 90-day supply. Ron lied that he had cancer and took 33 pills a day, so that was his 90-day supply of vitamins and other drugs that weren’t approved in the US. Barkley threatened to put Ron in jail for a long time if he sold any of the drugs, and Ron swore to God that he would take all the medicine himself. Ron convinced Barkley with his fake religious words that Ron didn’t believe in and then returned to Texas. Ron soon sold the drugs on the streets and at Avonex meetings. A Dallas Mercy nurse told Dr. Eve that Avonex was falsely claiming that the AZT drug was curing people even though some were getting worse. Dr. Eve told Dr. Sevard that AZT was making people’s white blood cell counts drop and wanted a copy of the study, but Sevard said it wasn’t available because it was still being written. Rayon was out of the hospital and snuck up Ron in his car as he counted the cash from his drug sales. Rayon threw around enough money for 20 people but then decided not to spend the cash on Ron’s drugs and left calling him a homophobe. Ron followed Rayon and agreed to do a deal giving Rayon 25% of the profits if he found 20 more people in addition to the original 20. Ron gave the drugs to Rayon as needed and transgender Rayon sold them to his customers. Rayon brought Ron to the gay bar to sell more drugs, and on his way out Ron saw a poster for a drag queen pageant held every Wednesday. Ron checked into a motel where he hung female porn pictures on the walls. Ron got his partner in crime Rayon a room next door and had his lawyer David Wayne look over the paperwork for the business that he started called the Dallas Buyers’ Club. The Dallas Buyer’s Club sold memberships for $400 a month that included free unlimited drugs. Ron’s inspiration was a group of gays in New York who had a similar idea. Dr. Eve heard on the news that AZT was the first drug approved to treat AIDS and it cost $10,000 per patient, per year. Avonex stocks rose by 12% as a result. Two months later, a gay couple named Michael and Ian visited Rayon. Rayon told Ronnie they needed drugs. Ron wasn’t pleased with the Ronnie nickname and threatened to shoot Rayon’s male body parts off with his gun to make Rayon female like the transgender male wanted. Ron told the two men that they had to sign a waiver accepting that Ron wasn’t responsible if they died after taking his drugs. Ron advised Michael and Ian to stop using the AZT because it did more harm than good and the two men signed with Ron. As Ron was on the phone with Mr. Yamata trying to buy drugs, Dr. Eve showed up at the motel room because the nurse gave her Rayon’s new address and she hadn’t heard from him in a while. Dr. Eve couldn’t believe Ron was still alive and discovered that he had her patients’ medical files. She left a message with Ron for Rayon and told Ron that she was advising her patients to stay away from him because he wasn’t a doctor, even though Dr. Eve and the other doctors were getting huge bonuses for pushing the AZT poison on her patients. Ron and Rayon went shopping for health food at a grocery store and ran into TJ.Ron tried to introduce the strangers, but TJ wouldn’t shake Rayon’s hand because he had called Rayon a faggot moments before. Ron put TJ in a headlock and forced him to shake Rayon’s hand, and TJ did but wiped his hand after. Ron let TJ loose and told him to go back to his miserable life as though TJ was lower class and more mentally unstable than the transgender. There was a long line waiting outside Ron’s door for drugs when he returned to the motel. One young man only had $50 dollars, so Ron told everyone that it wasn’t a charity and they had to pay $400 for the membership if they wanted the drugs. Rayon packed traveling bags for Ron and the transgender high on drugs brought the luggage to him. Ron told Rayon to get his crap together otherwise he would be thrown out on the curb with his 25%. Ron put Denise in charge before he left for the airport. Ron arrived at the Hayashira Chemical Lab in Okayama, Japan, to pick up the order that he had placed for Interferon. However, a lab worker informed Ron that they couldn’t export the drug to the US anymore. Ron tried to bribe the worker with a suitcase full of money, but he wouldn’t accept it and explained that only Japanese doctors could buy the drug. Ron bought the interferon from Dr. Hiroshi before he left Japan. Ron donned a suit and returned to the US with the drugs. He pretended to be on a cell phone call with another doctor as he approached the customs agent at the Dallas International Airport. Security let Ron through when he explained that he was doing medical research in Japan. However, Ron had a medical emergency and went to the bathroom. Ron shot himself with the Japanese drug and passed out. He ended up at Dallas Mercy, where Officer Tucker and another officer were called in to investigate the drugs found inside the briefcase in the airport bathroom. Tucker realized that it was his friend Ron, and he and Dr. Sevard went to Ron’s hospital room. Ron demanded to know what was in his IV, and Sevard admitted that it was AZT. Ron ripped it out of his arm and told Sevard that he would sue the hospital for attempted murder, and Sevard argued that the Japanese drug gave Ron a heart attack. Officer Tucker laughed when Ron went off on Dr. Sevard and FDA agent Barkley how he was given 30 days to live with Dr. Sevard’s diagnosis but he was still alive a year later. Barkley threatened to shut Ron down, and Ron told Dr. Sevard that Eve was his doctor and then checked himself out with Rayon. Dr. Sevard visited Dr. Eve and she couldn’t give the other doctor any information about Ron because it was patient confidentiality and Dr. Eve lied that she didn’t know what Ron did in private outside the hospital. Dr. Sevard explained that the FDA confiscated 2,000 dosages of the interferon drug that Ron had planned to sell to their AIDS patients. He ordered Eve to keep her patients away from the Dallas Buyers’ Club because it was interfering with the Avonex trial study, even though she said they were successfully eliminating their symptoms with Ron’s drugs. Ron learned on the phone that he couldn’t get any Japanese drugs because the FDA made up their own law that the drugs couldn’t be brought into the country. Ron planned to travel to find new foreign drugs, so he took American Airlines to Israel to buy drugs and then did the same in China and Amsterdam. Ron returned to Texas, where he was again visited by Dr. Eve. Ron explained that if he didn’t trust the doctor he bought the drugs from, he would have them sent FedEx to his lab in Seattle to be tested there and then Ron would test the illegal drugs on himself before he sold them to anybody. Transgender male Rayon and his AIDS-stricken male lover Sunflower distracted Ron and Dr. Eve, so he told them to leave and take their Boy George/Marc Bolan pictures with them that they hung on the wall beside his naked female pictures. Ron informed Dr. Eve that AZT didn’t treat people’s symptoms and he was living proof of it because his medication was better than the doctors’. Dr. Sevard wasn’t pleased to find that all of his trial patients disappeared and went to see Ron. Ron asked Denise about one of the girls who showed up at the motel for treatment and learned that she had full blown AIDS, so Ron immediately took her into the bathroom and the two had sex. Ron later found Rayon on the floor trying to stick himself with a drug needle in his private areas, but he couldn’t so Ron helped him. Ron’s attorney David showed up in the room and informed Ron that the IRS was auditing his business. Ron tried to pay them off with thousands in cash, but the agents confiscated his drugs and left. The news reported about the protestorsin Washington acting out against the lack of support they were getting for the AIDS virus. Ron took Dr. Eve out to a fancy dinner and gave her an actual flower picture that his mom painted instead of real flowers, which impressed her. Ron paid for everything, including Cabernet, and asked Eve for information on Dr. Sevard, who ratted him out to the IRS. Eve realized that Ron didn’t want to keep the painting because he would die soon and he wanted someone to appreciate what he tried to do while he was still alive and the painting would remind Dr. Eve of that. The next day, Officer Tucker, Barkley and the DEA showed up at Ron’s place with a court order to confiscate all the non-FDA approved drugs and the aloe vera that was his whole inventory. Barkley advised Ron to go through the process and fill out the FDA paperwork to have the drugs tested so they could be approved, but Ron knew it would take time and money he didn’t have. Barkley informed Ron that he would be fined greatly for improperly labeling and selling his drugs. Ron called David and ordered him to file a restraining order against the FDA and the government because they were taking him down like Al Capone using the IRS. In March of 1987, Dr. Frank Young announced on the news that the FDA’s regulations changed and all medication had to be prescribed by licensed doctors. Ron’s business was now illegal, but he continued to make illegal drug transactions stashing cash and drugs in honky-tonky bathrooms. Ron made more calls and wanted to get help from Amsterdam and Canada. Ron and Rayon were having financial problems and had their credit cards maxed out, so they planned to get more memberships by searching the therapy groups for new customers. Ron sent Officer Tucker some drugs in the mail to help Tucker’s dad with his Alzheimer’s. Michael and Ian showed Ron a dumpy house that he could operate his business out of and live in, and the gay men told Ron it was free for his use because they wanted to help. Ron spoke to a group of potential customers, as Rayon snorted cocaine surrounding the event. Rayon dressed up in a male’s business suit and visited his bigwig dad, a rich businessman, at his professional workplace. Rayon confessed to his dad that he had AIDS and needed help to repay Ron who was kind to him when nobody else was, including his parents. Transgender Rayon then went back to his motel home and told God that he would be a beautiful angel wearing a dress when he met God. Ron called around, but no doctor would write him prescriptions for more drugs. Rayon visited Ron and gave him a huge wad of cash, and he thought Rayon prostituted himself to get it. Rayon said that he sold his life insurance policy, and then he and Ron hugged it out. Ron went to the hospital in a big sombrero hat and asked Dr. Eve to write him drug prescriptions in case he needed them when he came back across the border from Mexico. She explained that she couldn’t because the hospital could lose it license and be sued if she did. While Ron was in Mexico, Rayon and Sunflower hung out in their room, and Rayon started coughing up blood and didn’t want to go to the hospital but Sunflower insisted. Once in Mexico, Ron visited Dr. Vass and learned that the secretions caterpillars used during their incubation period could be used as a non-toxic anti-viral in humans. Ron learned that the Lancet study results in France proved that AZT was too toxic for humans at the levels the patients were receiving and it didn’t cure anything. Avonex and NIH never included that study in their press releases. Dr. Vass gave Ron a load of the anti-fungal drug Fluconazole, among other drugs.That night, Ron went to the room where thousands of butterflies were being kept and they landed on him. Dr. Eve arrived at Rayon’s bedside and confirmed with the nurse that he was now on morphine only. On the flight back from Mexico and when it was about to land at DFW airport, Ron accounted for the smuggled drugs he was bringing into the country by writing out fake prescriptions and forging Dr. Eve’s signature using the pad that he stole from Eve’s desk when he put his sombrero on her head to distract her at the hospital. Ron was held up and an airport official called him out for using the names of Dallas Cowboys players on the prescriptions he wrote. Ron checked in with Denise, and she gave him the emergency messages and informed him that Rayon was at the hospital. Ron rushed off to the hospital and learned that Rayon had died as Sunflower packed up his things. Security was called when Ron stormed into the waiting room full of kids to confront Dr. Sevard and Dr. Eve. Ron grabbed Dr. Sevard and called him a murderer and told everyone not to trust the phony doctor before Ron was taken away by security. Ron then went to the strip club, where a female tried to have sex with him but he refused and broke down in tears. When Ron returned to his free house, some people from Austin had no money to pay for the drugs so Ron told Denise to the sell the car to help restore their petty cash and give the people free medicine. Dr. Eve went to see Ron, and he told her a long list of side effects that AZT caused. She called him out for stealing her prescription pad and informed him that Rayon wasn’t given AZT at the hospital and he died from the disease and his drug addiction. Eve said that Rayon was her friend too, so Ron gave her the Lancet report that Dr. Vass gave him. Dr. Eve returned home and hung up the painting in the apartment hiding the damage she caused in the wall with the hammer from her anger. Dr. Eve read the French Lancet report and showed up at the hospital and told the nurse at the hospital to reduce all her AZT patients to the minimum dosage. David reminded Ron that he lost the restraining order lawsuit against the government when Ron told him to file another lawsuit about shutting down the Peptide T lab that 3,000 customers needed. Ron instructed lawyer David to find a San Francisco, California judge, outside of Texas, to handle things. David then left the boxes with 10,000 anti-AZT brochures with Ron. Ron handed out the brochures at a CDC/NIH meeting to help educate the people about alternatives to the poisonous AZT. Ron was escorted out by security when he made a scene and announced that the big pharmas were backing the government workers’ salaries (like Barkley with FDA) to push certain drugs on the people that didn’t work. The Dallas Mercy hospital board held a meeting where Dr. Sevard told Dr. Eve that they wanted her resignation, but she stormed out swearing and told them that she wouldn’t quit and they would need to fire her. Eve later had a beer at Ron’s place and they hugged and had a heart-to-heart. Ron told Eve that he wished that he could rodeo again, take his woman dancing and have kids when he really preferred to use females for sex and not dance with them. Ron wanted his life to mean something and Eve told him it already did. The next day, Ron drove off in his truck but had a medical emergency so he got out of the truck and stood in the middle of the major intersection. Multiple cars almost hit Ron before two officers appeared and Tucker dismissed the other officer to direct traffic so Tucker could handle Ron himself. Officer Tucker took Ron to his own house and gave him an injection of something. Six months later, Ron and David showed up at the US District Court in San Francisco. The California judge stated that the FDA was a bully and was misusing its power to prevent terminally ill people from trying non-approved drugs that were non-toxic. However, the judge had no legal authority to intervene so he dismissed the case. Ron called Eve to tell her that they lost, and when he returned to his house in Texas he found that Eve had gathered together supporters to applaud Ron for his efforts. After the CA trial, the FDA allowed Ron to use Peptide T for himself and he went back to drinking and riding bulls in the rodeos. On Day 2557, aka September 12, 1992, Ron died of AIDS seven years after he was diagnosed with HIV. The low dose of AZT combined with other drugs saved millions of lives. This movie had a budget of $5 million and grossed $55 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Joe Morgenstern, The Wall Street Journal, “Hugely entertaining.” David Denby, The New Yorker “Matthew McConaughey is astounding.” Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times, “Exhilirating. Impossible to forget.” Alynda Wheat, People, “Jared Leto is flat-out amazing!” David Edelstein, New York Magazine, “A crowd pleaser!” Peter Travers, Rolling Stone, “Matthew McConaughey has found the role of his career,” and “deeply moving. A livewire of a movie!”

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/21/25

TITLE:  Fargo 

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 1996 MGM / Polygram Filmed Entertainment / Working Title Films / Gramercy Pictures 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: The movie stated it was based on a true story that happened in Minnesota in 1987 and the character’s names have been changed. At the start, Jerry Lundegaard drove from Minnesota to the King of Clubs bar in Fargo, North Dakota. He met with Carl Showalter and Gaear Grimsrud to deliver a brand-new Ciera to the shady characters per Shep Proudfoot. The two men argued with Jerry that they were supposed to get $40,000, but Jerry insisted that they wouldn’t get the money until after they kidnapped Jerry’s wife. The ransom would be $80,000 total, of which the kidnappers would get $40,000 and Jerry would keep $40,000 because Jerry had unexplained money troubles but wouldn’t ask his rich wife or her dad Wade Gustafson for the money because they wouldn’t give it to him. Carl and Gaear agreed and they went outside to take possession of the new Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera car. Jerry then traveled back home to his wife Jean in Minneapolis, where her dad Wade was at the house visiting. The family had dinner, and Jerry and Jean’s young teen son Scotty got permission to leave the table and meet his friends at McDonald’s, which Wade wasn’t pleased about because he skipped out on the family meal and wasted their food. Jerry asked Wade for $40,000 to buy 40 acres in Wayzata that he wanted to use as a parking lot, but Wade told Jerry to ask Stan Grossman for the money. On their way to Minneapolis, Carl and Wade stopped at Brainerd to have sex like Carl wanted and pancakes like Gaear wanted. Wade owned a car dealership that his son in law Jerry worked at as executive sales manager. Jerry was an expert at lying and swindling innocent, hard-working people out of extra money they didn’t have with additional unwanted expenses added to the vehicle price’s after the deal was done. Carl and Gaear arrived in Brainerd, MN the home of Paul Bunyan, and checked into the Blue Ox motel where the criminals had sex with two females. Jean told Scotty that he couldn’t try out for ice hockey because he had just average grades and knew her son was smarter than that. Jerry got a call from Wade, who explained that he discussed the deal with Stan who was interested and wanted Jerry to come by the office at 2:30 pm to possibly get the money. Jerry then visited Shep, a mechanic at his father-in-law’s dealership, and told him that he might not need Shep’s criminal buddies services after all. Jerry wanted to get ahold of the men to cancel the deal, but Shep had no further information or numbers on the one man (Gaear) he vouched for. At work In his office later that day, Jerry got a call from Reilly Diefenbach at GMAC, because Jerry already received $320,000 from GMAC and the collateral cars Jerry put on the loan paperwork had serial numbers that were not legible on the fax. Reilly told Jerry to give him the serial numbers of the cars over the phone but since Jerry was scamming the company, Jerry told him he would have his girl send them to him. Reilly told Jerry that he would take the money back if Jerry couldn’t give him the real serial numbers to prove the cars existed. Meanwhile, Carl and Gaear broke into Jerry’s house through the sliding glass door and the front door. Jean got away from Gaear by biting his hand, and she ran upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. They took the phone away from Jean before she could call 911 by pulling the cord underneath the door, so she opened the bathroom window and then hid behind the shower curtain. Carl thought Jean jumped out the window and ran outside to find her while Gaear stayed behind to put medicine on his bite wound from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Gaear saw in the mirror that Jean was behind the shower curtain, and then she ran off wrapped up in the shower curtain and fell down the stairs. Jerry met with Wade and Stan and the two wealthy men told Jerry that they weren’t a bank and they wouldn’t let Jerry use their $750,000 as an investment into the parking lot. Jerry wanted $40,000 and not the small finder’s fee, but since Jerry wasn’t onboard with the other men they decided to move on the investment themselves and leave Jerry out of it. Jerry stormed out and had a hissy fit, and then he returned home with groceries for Jean. He found the house empty and the mess left by the kidnappers and knew that the goons he hired took his wife. Jerry practiced a fake hysterical reaction to Jean’s disappearance before he called Wade for help. On their way out of town, Carl and Gaear passed the Paul Bunyan sign that night and were pulled over by a state trooper because there were no tags on the car. Jean was crying in the backseat hidden under the shower curtain, and the kidnappers threatened to shoot her if she didn’t stay silent. The lone officer working the country road asked for license and registration and informed Carl that he needed temporary tags for the new car. Carl didn’t have the registration and gave the officer his wallet with a $50 bill hanging out.He wanted to take care of the registration there, but the officer wouldn’t be bribed and told Carl to get out of the car. However, when the officer bent down in the open window, Gaear grabbed the officer’s head and shot him point-blank with the gun from the glove box. Carl got out to throw the dead officer in the ditch, but then a car approached in the night. The young male driver and his female passenger slowed down and witnessed the crime scene with the dead state trooper and saw the officer’s patrol car with its lights on. The young couple sped off, so Gaear left Carl to dispose of the officer’s body while he drove after them at a high speed with Jean still in the back. The other car drove too fast on the icy snow covered road and flipped over.The male driver got out of the wrecked car and tried to run to safety but Gaear shot him in the back and Gaear then shot dead the young female trapped inside the car. Brainerd police chief Marge Gunderson got a call in the middle of the night about the dead trooper and young couple. Marge’s husband, Norm, also got up to make his wife some eggs to eat before she left since the police chief was very pregnant and always hungry. Marge couldn’t get her police car started, so Norm gave her a jumpstart. Marge and fellow officer Lou Getchell gave the crime scene an once-over and figured that the young people were in the wrong place at the wrong time witnessing the state trooper’s murder. They found the shooter’s large footprints and then looked at the trooper’s crime scene. The officers found a smaller set of footprints and figured the accomplice wasn’t as big as his buddy and they were likely out-of-towners. Marge realized that the criminals took the trooper by surprise because his gun was still in its holster, and they believed that they could collect the fingerprints of the smaller guy from the patrol car because the lights were off and he probably sat in the police car to stay warm while his associate drove after the witnesses. The last thing the trooper wrote in his log was at two in the morning when he pulled over a tan Ciera with a DLR plate. Marge figured out that the initials stood for a dealer plate and not the letters on the license plate. Jerry, Stan and Wade met up at a café to discuss the kidnapping and decided to keep the cops out of it like Jerry insisted. Wade wanted to offer $500,000 for Jean instead of the $1 million ransom that the kidnappers demanded, per Jerry. Jerry added that the kidnappers wanted the money the next day and would call him with further details. Jerry and Stan privately talked, he would wait at home for the call because the bad guys were watching and listening. Stan went home to talk to Scotty, who was upset about his mom’s abduction and wanted to call the cops like Grandpa Wade did. Jerry reassured Scotty that it was under control and instructed him to tell Lorraine or Sylvia if they called that Jean was in Florida with Pearl and Marty. Carl and Gaear drove to a remote cabin in the middle of the woods and laughed as Jean ran around in the snow panicked in a blindfold and slippers with her hands tied behind her back. Norm brought Arby’s to the police station for Marge’s lunch, and she gave him night crawlers and they discussed his painting. The police got a lead about the Ciera and the drivers got a room at the Blue Ox Motel, so Marge went to the Lakeside Club part of Blue Ox motel to interview the two waitresses who had sex with the criminals at the motel. The bimbos weren’t able to give any clear descriptions of the men except the little guy wasn’t circumcised, the big guy resembled the Marlboro Man and was a chain-smoker and the questionable men were headed to the Twin Cities. As Marge tried to get some sleep at home, a late night phone call woke her up. It was Mike Yanagita, an old school friend from her single days as Marge Olmstead. Mike said he saw her on the news investigating the murders and wanted to connect with Marge again. Jerry received a call from Carl while he was at work. Carl was irate and unstable and told Jerry that they wanted the whole $80,000 because blood was on their hands from the three murders in Brainerd that Jerry knew nothing about. Carl declared that he would be in town the next day to collect the full amount. Reilly from GMAC then called Jerry and said that he would refer the matter to GMAC’s legal department if he didn’t receive the serial numbers the next day. Jerry confirmed that the serial numbers were in the mail and then had another hissy fit after the call ended. Marge and Norm ate at a buffet, and Norm planned to go ice fishing at Mille Lacs after lunch. An officer interrupted the meal and gave Marge a phone number list of the calls made from the Blue Ox payphone. Two of the calls were made to Minneapolis, one to a trucking company and another to the private residence of Shep Proudfoot. Marge then announced that she would make a trip and drive to the Twin Cities to continue the investigation. The trio had another meeting, and Stan agreed with Wade that since it was Wade’s $1 million in ransom money the kidnappers could deal with Wadeinstead of Jerry. Marge checked into a hotel and called the Twin City local Detective Sibert to check in on the USIF search on Shepso she could visit him later. The detective recommended that Marge eat at the Radisson since she was hungry again. Carl drove to a parking lot and stole the license plates off a snow-covered car that had been there for a while and then put the plates on his Ciera car so he wouldn’t get pulled over again. He left the parking lot and was told at the exit gate that he had to pay the $4 fee for the day’s parking even though he was there for a few minutes. He swore at the attendant and reluctantly forked over the $4. Jerry asked another mechanic at the dealership where Shep was and learned that he was talking to Officer Marge about the homicide she was investigating. Marge asked Shep about the call he received, and he claimed that he didn’t remember it so she reminded Shep of his narcotics charges and how associating with criminals was in violation of his parole and could end up back in the Stillwater prison if he didn’t cooperate. Jerry returned to his office and didn’t stick around. Marge later stopped by Jerry’s office for a friendly chat and asked him a few questions. Jerry tried to get out of it by directing her to his father-in-law Wade, but she inquired about a tan Ciera that might have been stolen off the lot. Jerry froze up but then changed the subject to Brainerd and blurted out that no cars had been stolen. Marge left so Jerry could go back to scribbling on his notepad. Jerry tried to call Shep but learned that Shep left his job. Marge later met up with Mike at the Radisson, and he said he lived in Edina. He tried to hit on her knowing she was pregnant and wanted to sit next to her, but she told him to stay on his side of the booth. Mike claimed he used to be married to Linda Cooksey and had kids, but she died from leukemia so he was an engineer at Honeywell. Mike then broke down in tears because he didn’t expect to find his school crush happily married and pregnant. In the Carlton Celebrity room, Carl and his escort date watched Jose Feliciano sing live. They later had sex in their room but were interrupted by Shep. Violent Shep threw the girl around and then whipped naked Carl with a belt and beat the crap out of him taking Jesus’ name in vain and swearing that he would go back to prison because of Carl’s murders. Carl called Jerry at home and threatened to kill Jean and Scotty if he didn’t have the money at the Radisson in a half hour. Wade was there and listened in on the other phone and immediately left the house with a gun and the suitcase of money (million dollars) to handle it himself. Scotty was concerned that dad Jerry was leaving him alone in the house to go after Grandpa. Jerry instructed Scotty to tell Stan if he called that Jerry was going to Ember’s. Wade met Carl in the parking lot without Jean, and Carl was angry that Jerry wasn’t there. Wade demanded to see his daughter and refused to give up the suitcase, so Carl shot Wade in the stomach. Wade shot back at Carl and grazed Carl’s face with a bullet, and then Carl shot Wade six times to finish him off. Carl grabbed the suitcase full of money and then drove off like a maniac through the parking garage and headed for the gate and he passed Jerry on the way. The gatekeeper asked for Carl’s ticket and saw his bloody face, so Carl shot the man dead and drove through the gate. Jerry saw the bodies of Wade and the gatekeeper and returned home, where Scotty told him that Stan called twice. Jerry told his son that he wasn’t calling Stan back and instead was going to bed. The next day, Brainerd officer Olson met with Mr. Mohra, a bartender at Ecklund and Swedlin’s. He had an encounter with Carl, who wanted some woman action because he was going crazy at the lake. Mr. Mohra informed Carl that he didn’t arrange that type of service, so Carl replied that the last guy that called him a jerk was dead. Mr. Mohra’s wife told him about the homicides, so he told the police that Carl was soliciting sex, had murdered people and was staying at a cabin that was likely located at Moose Lake. Meanwhile, Carl opened the suitcase to find stacks of $100 bills inside. He took only the 80 thousand dollars and then buried the suitcase in the snow alongside the road and left his red scraper as a marker. At the hotel, Marge packed her bags to leave the city and go back home, but called her friend Valerie before she left. Valerie explained that Mike had tried to date Linda, but Linda wasn’t interested so they never got married and Linda was still alive. Valerie stated that Mike was mentally unstable and was living with his parents. Jerry showed up at work the car dealership the next day without telling anyone Wade was dead, and he wrote down some serial numbers to give to GMAC. Marge stopped by after getting food at Hardee’s to ask Jerry a few more questions. Marge pressed for more information how he would know when a car was stolen from the lot if he didn’t have regular inventory checks. There was a call to Wade’s car lot and they sold that kind of vehicle that the criminals drove. Jerry got short with Marge, so she asked to speak to Wade. Jerry couldn’t explain Wade’s murder, so Jerry acted ticked off and left to do an inventory count for the officer since it was so important to Marge. Marge waited in Jerry’s office and looked at the paperwork on his desk. Marge spotted Jerry driving away and realized that he fled the interview. She used Jerry’s phone to call Detective Sibert to get police assistance in that area. Carl made it back to the cabin and noticed that Jean was lying motionless on the floor, and Gaear explained that he silenced her from screaming. Carl gave Gaear $40,000 and kept $40,000 for himself not telling Gaear that he had the rest of the $1 million stashed away. Gaear wanted to split the price of the new car as well, but Carl refused because he got shot in the face. He left his truck for Gaear and declared that Gaear’s friend Shep would get a beating if he saw him in return for what he did for Carl. Carl threatened Gaear with his gun and left the cabin. Gaear followed Carl out with an axe and murdered Carl with it. Marge decided to drive around Moose Lake alone on her way home. She radioed her fellow officers for updates and found out that Jerry’s wife Jean went missing in the Twin Cities the same day the homicides happened in Brainerd. Marge had an APB out on Jerry and Wade who were both missing. Marge then spotted the tan Ciera outside a remote cabin, and the officer said he would send a few cars to help. The police chief endangered HIS unborn child’s life further by going rogue and investigating on her own instead of waiting for backup. She went behind the cabin and found Gaear using a woodchipper to dispose of Carl’s body with blood covering the snow. Gaear threw a block of wood at Marge, and she ducked to miss it. Gaear ran across the frozen lake, and Marge shot him in the leg. The pregnant woman somehow got the serial killer into her police car and drove him alone back to the police station. She told Gaear that his partner was in the woodchipper, Jean was dead on the floor of the cabin and three people in Brainerd were dead. Marge was visibly upset that multiple people lost their lives over a small amount of money. She pulled over alongside the road as other police arrived to help her and assist in the arrest. Jerry used the fake name of Mr. Anderson and rented a motel room outside of Bismarck, North Dakota. The motel owner unlocked the door and turned Jerry into the state troopers, who arrested him as he tried to escape out the window. That night, Norm told Marge that his mallard painting would be put on the three-cent stamp, and she was happy. They exchanged love-yous and planned for another two months of pregnancy before they welcomed the newborn. This movie had a budget of $7 million and grossed over $60 millionat the box office. The movie cover art listed, Roger Ebert, “An American masterpiece!” Siskel & Ebert, “Two thumbs up, way up!” Rolling Stone, “A dazzling mix of mirth and malice.” The movie insert booklet stated, “The Coen brothers claim that Fargo is based on actual Minnesota kidnapping and murder case…but according to Frank R. Ball, the long-time police chief of Brainerd, Minnesota, on whom the police chief (pregnant female) in the movie was based, ‘I’m not pregnant. Never have been.’” The movie insert also stated, “William H. Macy says he essentially begged for the part of Jerry Lundegaard, ‘I flew to New York, walked into the building where they were holding auditions and said [to the Coen brothers], ‘Guys, I don’t mean to be pushy, but I’m not leaving until I get the role. If I have to kill your pets, I’ll do it.’”

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/19/25

TITLE:  Let’s Be Cops

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2014 20th Century Fox / Luke Greenfield Productions / Kinberg Genre Productions / WideAwake 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie began with two buddies, Justin G. Miller and Ryan J. O’Malley, living in Los Angeles after moving from their hometown in Ohio. They were now both around 30 and still didn’t have the success they hoped for in life. Ryan informed Justin that the herpes commercial he already starred in would air again and he would get another $11,000, which Justin didn’t think was anything to be proud of. Ryan liked singing karaoke at the local restaurant they frequented. Justin worked as an assistant at the Digital Empire video game company. Ryan couldn’t get his Camaro started one day as he and Justin left a bar, and then a Mercedes Benz SUV backed into them. Justin tried to take a picture of the accident scene, but the driver got out and smashed Justin’s phone into the ground and refused to give up any information. Ryan pushed the driver around, and then the window rolled down to reveal the mob boss sitting in the back with a couple of women. Two bodyguards appeared and spoke in a different language, and then the high roller Mercedes left the scene. There were no plates on the vehicle, so Justin wanted to get witness testimony from the nearby crowd. In the conference room at Digital Empire (DE), Justin pitched an idea for a new game called Patrolman LA. However, his coworkers (Steven, Rocky, Clara and Phil) thought the idea was lame because cops didn’t have superpowers and they would prefer to be firefighters and shoot at the cops. Todd Connors the boss silenced Justin and told the board members to create firefighters vs. zombies game that would end with the destruction of Manhattan after an apocalyptic war. During the day, Ryan played football in the park with a group of tweens, but he hogged the ball and the adult male used brute force against the kids until they no longer wanted to play with him. Justin shared an apartment with Ryan, who scared Justin with his ghost costume when he arrived home so Justin punched Ryan in the face. The two roomies agreed to wear fake cop outfits (but were real police uniforms) to the Purdue alumni costume party that night in June. When they arrived, they figured out that it was a masquerade ball (wear face masks) and not a costume party, but they stayed anyway and drank. Justin lied that his newest game creation idea was a success, and some of Ryan’s old buddies were disappointed that he didn’t have a career in life so they thought he was a loser and left him to go talk to other people. Justin and Ryan left the college campus and decided they didn’t like LA and would move back to Ohio. As the fake officers walked down the street, a bunch of women noticed their police uniforms and flirted with them doing double takes. A group of scantily clad and screaming women rushed up to the fake cops and started kissing them because they were on a scavenger hunt that required kissing cops. Justin and Ryan tested their powers and found out that everybody thought they were real copssince their uniforms and guns were authentic with no bullets. The two decided to pretend to be cops, so they confronted three teens smoking weed on the street corner. Ryan took the joint and started smoking it himself in his cop outift, and the kids couldn’t believe the police would do that. Ryan and Justin walked away sharing the joint. Justin then held his breath as they passed two real officers. They exchanged serious looks until the real police walked away and then Justin exhaled. Justin and Ryan laughed over how the real officers thought the fake officers were real, and then they drove home. They spotted the criminal Mercedes parked outside Georgie’s, were the two men hung out, so they went inside to investigate. The mobsters tried to force Georgie to be their partner, but he refused because it had been his family run business for 32 years. Justin and Ryan ordered all the mobsters to freeze and then took them outside, where Ryan stated that the vehicle was involved in a hit-and-run that caused up to $27,000 in damage to his vehicle. Ryan asked Justin to take Facebook pictures of him posing as a fake cop when he ordered the gang to put their hands on the vehicle and turn around. Ryan then searched the Mercedes and threatened to seize it if he found anything suspicious. As Ryan drank alcohol and played with knives that he found inside the car, Justin played Simon Says and instructed the bad guys to do pelvic thrusts and twerk as Justin demonstrated the moves in his police uniform. The gangsters asked who Justin and Ryan were, and they told the bit**es that they were the law and the new sheriffs in town. A crowd of people gathered outside, including business owners, and cheered for the fake cops as they ran off the mobsters. Justin and Ryan ate dinner at Georgie’s, and the waitress that Justin was interested in finally talked to him when she noticed his police uniform. Ryan lied through his teeth that they were special cops that worked closely with the FBI and SWAT, and she was impressed and introduced herself as Josie. She was taken aback by Justin’s (a black man) nametag that read Chang, and he confirmed it was his last name and he was Asian. After Josie left, Justin and Ryan were glad that she had a crush on the new Justin. The two imposters then pulled their guns on each other and the diners ducked for cover as the fake cops celebrated how they fooled everyone. The mob brought the news back to the boss Mossi that Georgie didn’t sign with them because of the cops. Mossi headbutted one of the minions and broke his nose, and then he ordered his gang to hunt down the cops. Meanwhile, Ryan brushed up on his police skills by watching YouTube videos on how to use real police signals and codes to handle future situations. Ryan browsed for a cheap used police car on eBayand then invited a neighborhood kid named Joey over to help him practice being an officer. Ryan gave the boy a knife and told him to try and kill him as he was dressed as a cop, and the boy ended up stabbing Ryan. Ryan harassed Justin at work trying to convince him to do another night in the police uniforms, but Justin was skeptical. Todd called Justin and his coworkers to a mandatory meeting about the firefighters/zombie game. Justin ignored the email and snuck out of the office. Justin met up with Ryan so they could play cops again, except he got pulled over by a police car with lights and sirens. Justin freaked out since he was wearing his police uniform, and Ryan on the cell phone told Justin to remain calm. The officer ordered Justin to get out of the car, and the neighbors watched in horror as the officer, Ryan, jumped onto Justin’s back and they both laughed about it. Ryan explained that he bought the old police car on eBay, installed the light bar himself, ordered the LAPD stickers online and then had them printed at Kinko’s. The whole thing was illegal but looked real enough to fool anyone. Later on, the neighbors couldn’t believe that the guy next door who pooped on their doorstep was now a cop. Justin and Ryan went to a club that was hard to get into and threatened to arrest the hostess if she didn’t let them in. They danced with a bunch of half-naked oversexed females, and then a group of women who were having a bachelorette party demanded that the fake cops strip for them and give them lap dances. Justin and Ryan then smoked joints in their police car and rode a rollercoaster at the amusement park. Justin hung out with waitress Josie in plain clothes, and they hit it off. Before Justin could tell her the truth about himself, Ryan drove up in the police car and using the loud speaker told Justin to stop harassing Josie and get back to work. That night, Justin found out that Ryan promoted himself to sergeant and sewed three bars onto his uniform. Ryan also installed a real police scanner in the car, and he turned on lights and sirens when the dispatcher called in a domestic disturbance. Justin and Ryan threatened to kill each other and fought over whether or not to answer the real police call until the dispatcher gave more information about the suspects being three drunken females. Ryan told Justin not to worry about getting caught because it would take an hour for real officers to show up to a domestic disturbance. When they arrived at the house, they found two middle-aged women having a catfight over Precious’ boyfriend texting JaQuandae. Ryan used his YouTube experience to control the situation. Ryan and Justin read aloud the text messages as a skit to show that the women were fighting over nothing. After a few words, the women went crazy again and attacked each other. Ryan was knocked out of the fight, and Justin slapped JaQuandae. She kicked him violently before throwing him down on a glass table, so the two fake officers left with Ryan snickering about it. The next day, Justin went to see Josie and lied to her about her how he got a face wound. Justin told Josie not to give up on her dream of becoming a make-up artist and designing Halloween masks because she was good at it. He tried to tell Josie he wasn’t a real cop, but she silenced him by kissing him because she felt safe around Justin since a stalker had been harassing her at the restaurant, and then she took off her dress to reveal her bare breasts. Justin’s conscious told him to tell Josie the truth, so when he told her to put her dress back on she thought he was gay. He confirmed that he wasn’t, so he and Josie made out by the window and were watched by the mobsters. Justin and Ryan were pulled over by a police car and identified themselves as Officers Chang and O’Malley. The real officers, George Segars and Jackson, noticed Ryan’s sergeant stripes and apologized for pulling them over even though they didn’t have license plates on their eBay car. A call then came in about a situation at the Ace Hardware across the street, so the four men worked it together. Ryan told officer Segars and Jackson to take the lead, so they smashed the window to get inside. They split up in twos. Ryan and Justin encountered a madman. They fought each other instead of the criminal, who ran off and then a naked sumo wrestler ran at them. The real police from behind told the fakers to take the bad guys down, and Ryan got clobbered. Justin jumped on the naked man, who fell on top of Justin with his private parts in Justin’s face and Justin screamed about it. The real cops instructed the fake cops to find the second perp, and they used it as their chance to escape. They pulled a Tom Cruise move and sped off in their fake patrol car. Segars watched them leave and wasn’t happy. At his day job, Justin used Google and discovered that it was a federal crime to impersonate a police officer with hefty fines and imprisonment. Meanwhile, Ryan drove recklessly through the park like a maniac terrorizing the football children and making them run. Ryan told the kids he was a cop and then left in his squad car with Joey. When they got home, Justin told Ryan they could do serious time for pretending to be cops and he shouldn’t have brought a kid into it. Justin then got a call from Josie, who frantically asked him to get to Georgie’s. Justin and Ryan donned their police uniforms and headed to the restaurant, where the mobsters’ Mercedes was parked outside. They went around back and discovered that the whole gang was there; including the murderous spider-tattooed and cross necklace-wearing Mossi who spit on the police officers and slapped them around. Madman Mossi declared that he was the law and threatened that the cops would be dead the next time they interfered in his business. Justin and Ryan paid a visit to the LAPD in plain clothes planning to report Mossi, and they debated whether or not to reveal that they were posing as fake cops. Justin told the female officer inside the Los Angeles Police Department at the front desk that they weren’t real cops and were coming clean, but then Segars overheard and identified Justin and Ryan as real officers and took him back to his office. Segars was mad at the fake officers (he thought were real) for leaving Segars and Jackson with all the paperwork from the Ace Hardware holdup. Justin insisted that they weren’t real cops, but Ryan dragged him off to Segars’ office. Officer Segars gave the fake cops Mossi’s file and explained that he was an immigrant and preyed on other immigrant shop owners stealing their money and laundering it in the process. Mossi was on record as a violent fighter and a psycho who killed people for fun, and he turned up clean every time the police raided him. Nobody in the area would testify against Mossi because they were terrified of him. Officer Segars wasn’t allowed to do surveillance because it was above his pay grade, but he offered to get (fake) Sergeant O’Malley the department’s large supply of cameras and wiretaps so he could do surveillance himself. Justin and Ryan checked out a bunch of police equipment from the PD, and they argued outside because Justin didn’t want to take down the devil’s nephew. Ryan talked Justin into it. Ryan then promoted himself to detective. Justin and Ryan brought tween Joey with them and staked out the Tirana Club as Mossi and company arrived. The fake cops decided to continue surveillance in the apartment building across the street, and an oversexed female named Annie welcomed them into her apartment. They took pictures of the mobsters out the window and were frequently distracted by Annie trying to seduce fake officer Ryan to have sex with her. The big boss arrived, and Justin and Ryan eavesdropped on his conversation with Mossi with Joey’s help. The big boss announced that the Dominicans would make the delivery and he instructed Mossi to keep it underground and not touch the goods until the big boss said so. More shady characters showed up in a large van as the big boss gave Mossi photos of Justin and Ryan. The big boss had run their badge numbers and they didn’t come up in the LAPD system, so the boss assumed that they were ATF or the feds. The van unloaded some suspicious crates into the garage and then left, so Justin and Ryan followed it (left the kid with the strange woman). On the way out Ryan passionately kissed Annie, and then the fake cops pursued the van in their police car. They pulled the van over and brought the Dominican driver, Pupa, kicking and screaming with a paper bag over his head, to their apartment for interrogation. The neighbors were shocked and fled the scene. Pupa only spoke Spanish and spit in Justin’s face, so he and Ryan tied Pupa to an ironing board with plastic wrap and ran the kitchen faucet into his mouth until the board flipped over. Pupa then spoke in English and declared that he hated Mossi and would spill the beans. The fake cops and Pupa drank beer and played Justin’s violent police video game. Pupa explained that he didn’t know the contents of the crate but Mossi was having a party that night. Mossi was known to kill at least three people at each of his parties, and the crates would be there. Pupa thought the game was awesome because of the cops shooting the bad guys, and he told Justin that he should fight for the game and demand that his employer produce it. Ryan believed that Justin and Pupa could pass for brothers, and Justin wasn’t pleased and Pupa admitted that he killed his own mother for saying something bad about him. They got the idea to disguise Justin as Pupa to get into the party, so they called Josie for her makeup skills. She worked her magic on Justin and made him look similar to Pupa. Pupa talked nasty to Josie before she left, and she suggested putting makeup artist for the LAPD on her resume. Ryan put a camera wire in Justin’s shirt so they could video the party and could communicate with each other. Mossi ordered Justin to smoke his drug pipe, so he did to fit in and everyone laughed after he coughed it up. Justin left Mossi’s party room, and Ryan told Justin that he smoked crystal meth but it wouldn’t affect him. However, Justin started twitching uncontrollably so Ryan jumped in through the bathroom window to take charge and find out what was in the crates. Ryan confessed that he had smoked crystal meth 11 times. Ryan and Justin went down to the basement together, and Justin was so high that he was worried that he would have oral sex with a man but Ryan told him it was just a mind thing. They found a room stocked with heavy artillery and SWAT uniforms, and inside the crates were tagged and confiscated guns that were stolen from the police inventory before the police could destroy them. They made their way back upstairs to the hallway where Ryan escaped into the bathroom to exit through the window. Justin was grabbed in the hallway and put into an arena to fight the scary muscle dude. Justin got knocked down, but then he got back up and knocked the bully to the floor. The spectators cheered, and Mossi hugged Justin and then Mossi called for another match so Justin left the building. The next day, Ryan compiled all the evidence and figured out that it wasn’t about money laundering. Mossi wanted to take over Georgie’s place so much because an underground tunnel connected the restaurant and the hideout, and the tunnel was used to get rid of the evidence and escape the police. Ryan wanted to personally deliver the evidence to the police so they could arrest the bad guys and Ryan could get credit for solving a case the real cops couldn’t even though he and Justin had planned to send the evidence to the police anonymously. Justin didn’t want the mobsters to come after him because he almost died, smoked an illegal drug and had a bruised face from the beating he took in the fighting ring. It came out that the two of them had been going nowhere for 8 years in LA, and the reason Ryan didn’t play pro football was because he jumped off a roof at a pool party and not because he injured himself during a game. Ryan told Justin he wasn’t a man but a wuss. Justin called Ryan a loser like everyone else said and left. Ryan brought the evidence to Segars, who told him to take it to Detective Brolin who was head of the Organized Crime Division. Because Ryan had told Justin to be a man for once, Justin showed up to Digital Empire in his police uniform and said sexual things to his coworkers on his way to the conference room. There was already a cut-out of the new Firefighters vs. Zombies game inside the building on the lower level. Meanwhile at the PD, Segars introduced Ryan to Detective Brolin who he recognized as the big boss that Mossi worked for. Brolin dismissed Segars from the room and asked Ryan who he was, and Ryan said he already made copies of the case file. Brolin threatened to hunt down Ryan’s family and told him to run away, so Ryan declared that he would take Brolin down. As Ryan passed Segars on the way out, the officer didn’t understand why Ryan was leaving without saying goodbye. Todd reviewed the new Firefighter Zombie video game and wasn’t pleased with it, so Justin arrived and announced that the police game was better than the firefighters and zombies. Ryan panicked and left Justin a message about how they were dead and the big boss crooked man was also a high up police detective within the LAPD. Brolin ran Ryan and Justin’s information in the police system to find out where they lived, and then Brolin called Mossi to tell him that the duo weren’t real cops and they had to be taken out. The entire mob headed out to hunt Justin and Ryan down. Justin spoke dirty to Todd in Spanish repeating Pupa’s words about gay male sex and then declared that all his coworkers would listen to him as he was dressed in his police uniform pitch his game idea again or he would beat them up. Justin presented his game as real-life people getting into situations they wouldn’t normally get into and stepping outside their comfort zones to become cops and take down the bad guys. Ryan dressed for combat and returned to his apartment worried that someone would be there. He went in thinking it was empty, but when the fake cop turned around a gangster shot him through the glass window. He landed on the dumpster but was able to escape the bullets from above, and then he ran down the street being pursued by more mobsters shooting at him. Ryan tried to make a getaway in his fake police car and leave Justin a message telling him not to go home, but Ryan was then captured by a group of Mossi’s thugs in a van. Justin was interrupted from his meeting and told there was an officer waiting for him in the lobby, but he ignored it thinking it was Ryan. Todd asked Justin how they would feel the realistic violence from the game, and then the real officer burst into the room and started shooting at Justin. Justin jumped over the second-floor balcony onto the Zombie Fireman cut-out below, and Todd thought it was part of the presentation and planned to make the game. Mossi then called Justin using Ryan’s phone and threatened that Ryan would bleed to death if Justin didn’t arrive soon. Ryan told Justin to ignore the bad guys and run. Justin called Segars who refused to go to Tirana to see the underground tunnels. He asked for Justin’s location, so Justin figured Segars wouldn’t help so he threw his phone out the window and drove to help his longtime buddy. LAPD officer Brolin told Ryan that he and Justin would both die and threatened to torture if he didn’t reveal how many copies of the evidence he had. LAPD Officers Segars showed up to Tirana anyway, alone to check out the building, and the criminals let him in. Justin went to Georgie’s and found the secret tunnel, and he told Josie that he wasn’t a cop and to leave. Mossi told Brolin that one of his cop pigs was upstairs snooping around and he didn’t have control over them like he said he did. Brolin left, and Ryan told Mossi that he would be dead when Brolin was done with them and he ought to have a backup plan. Brolin overheard and came back in the room and planned to shoot Ryan in the head, but Mossi shot Brolin dead first since that was Mossi’s backup plan. Justin heard the gunshot and Ryan’s screams, so he came running and tried to tackle one of the guys but he was overpowered immediately. Officer Segars appeared and shot some of the thugs, but some escaped into the tunnels so he called for backup on his radio. Officer Segars saw Brolin’s dead body and then told the imposters to take off their police uniforms because they were a disgrace to police everywhere and the police uniforms had to be earned and to stay outside while the real police handled the situation because it wasn’t a video game. Officer Segars then went alone after the thugs inside the tunnels. Justin and Ryan both realized that they put Officer Segars in real danger. The fake officers went to the basement and armed themselves with heavy weaponry and SWAT uniforms so they could help. Officer Segars was a sitting duck and outnumbered, so Justin and Ryan unloaded on the shooters so that Segars could get to better cover. However, the two fake police ran out of bullets so they hid in another room and were hunted down by Mossi with a high-powered gun. Justin was grazed by one of the bullets, so Ryan tackled Mossi from behind and they violently fought. Justin grabbed Mossi’s gun and accidentally shot Ryan in the stomach, but Ryan wore a bulletproof vest. Justin ran out of bullets and couldn’t shoot Mossi, and then officer Segars came in the room and shot Mossi dead. The LAPD backup finally arrived, and Officer Segars told them that Justin and Ryan were with him. As Justin and Ryan left the crime scene outside, the police arrested the remaining bad guys. Justin and Ryan then ran into the real Officer Chang as Chang walked into the building. The fake cops then threw their real police swat uniforms in the dumpster as they walked by it. Later on, LAPD Officer Segars reported on the news that Mossi was no longer a threat to the city and it was a team effort. Ryan gave Joey a police badge. Justin got his game produced the way he wanted it, and then he went to see Josie and apologized to her for all his lies. Justin told Josie his real name, Justin Miller, and they started over and kissed. Ryan graduated from police academy. Another day, Justin introduced his new video game called, “Brothers in Blue” at LA’s Electronic Entertainment Expo. Afterward, outside the building, officer Ryan O'Malley appeared as a real police officer and drove his squad car on the sidewalk knocking over signs and scaring pedestrians. He picked up Justin and they sped off, and Pupa popped up from the backseat and Ryan informed Justin that Pupa was his new informant on the streets. The questionable trio then drove off recklessly to answer a real police call. This movie had a budget of $17 million and grossed over $138 million at the box office. 

  

DATE REVIEWED: 10/18/25

TITLE:  Blue State

BOX OFFICE RATED: R (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)

PRODUCTION YEAR: 2007 MGM / Paquin Films / Eagle Vision / Chicken Pictures 

RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1

REASON: This movie began in California with 28-year-old John Logue going door-to-door and soliciting people to vote for Democratic candidates John Kerry as president and his running mate John Edwards as VP in the 2004 presidential election. However, many of the people planned to vote for Bush and John believed Bush was evil. John told one lady that it was a democratic election, so she slammed her private property door in John’s face and he gave her the middle finger. John then made a promise to his friends and a news crew that filmed him at the bar that if Bush got re-elected, he would move to Canada. The day after the election, John watched Kerry announce on live TV that he lost and was seceding to the winner Bush. John hated Kerry for losing and later spewed his hate for the Republican party to his friend Hal over beers. John declared that Bush was a moron and Cheney had his hand up Bush’s butt, and they were both too dumb to run the country. Hal reminded Jim that he swore on his life that he would move Canada if Kerry lost the election, but John argued that he was drunk when he made the promise on the news so John’s word meant nothing. All of John’s friends left him messages singing “O Canada!” and wishing him well on his move. John went to see if he could get back his old job as a graphic designer that he had before he went to work full-time on the Kerry campaign. However, John’s former boss Esther Yang explained that she couldn’t hire him back because DigiHouse decided to move their operations to Nashville. Esther suggested that John work more on his angry donkey blog, and then he noticed the engagement ring on Esther’s finger and realized that there was no hope of continuing a relationship between them. John was irate when he found out that his old boss Esther was engaged to John’s coworker Craig, who had his desk outside his lover boss Ms. Yang’s door and  eavesdropped. John then received a message on his answering machine from MarryACanadian.com in Winnipeg. Gloria O’Neill solicited John to help him relocate to Canada with her company’s help as she did for other Americans who wanted to escape the US after the disastrous election.John accused Hal of signing him up for the website, but Hal argued that he didn’t. John then called Canadian Gloria, who explained that she got his name and number through grapevine friends and confirmed that Canada didn’t have any questionable organizations like the CIA in the US and the Canadians enjoyed their privacy. Gloria offered to help John find Canadian woman to marry in order for him to get citizenship if he decided to move to Winnipeg. Gloria encouraged John to look at the Canadian website for profiles of eligible females. John was amazed it was that simple to get help relocating and finding a wife, so he browsed through the Canadian profiles with their fake names. John joined the online dating site himself and created his own fake name “Disgruntled Donkey” including a link to his blog The Donkey Revolution. Soon after, John put up flyers around town with his contact information in hopes a fellow liberal would go with him to Canada to share the travel expenses. John interviewed several potential men but was unsuccessful in finding a ride-share partner. A female named Chloe Hamon prepared for interview by putting blue streaks in her dark hair and piercing her nose, and then she met with John. Chloe questioned if John was a celebrity, and he explained that he was on the local news and he planned to document his move to Canada on his blog so that was somewhat stardom. Chloe was onboard with John and just wanted to get out of the US as soon as possible. She lied that she was on the main DNC campaign for Kerry and was upset that he lost (she never voted in the election). John and Chloe made plans to leave for Canada the next day. Hal had a change of heart and tried to talk John out of giving up his American citizenship and leaving the country just because of one lost election. Hal pointed out that Gandhi didn’t go on a sex trip to keep the British out of India and MLK didn’t have sex with white women to blend the South. That didn’t change John’s mind and so he would go to Canada and keep his drunken word. John picked Chloe up in a shady part of the city and they hit the road. John mapped out the expenses for the trip in a binder and gave it to Chloe, who agreed that they should be on the same page with their budget. John added that he didn’t support Middle Eastern Oil and was only stopping at Venezuelan-backed gas stations like Coorco even though Chavez was no saint. John was a vegetarian and Chloe was not, so at the first stop John paid for his healthy food and Chloe’s unhealthy food. He then found out that Chloe couldn’t drive his standard car even though he put it as a requirement on his flyer. John and Chloe checked into a Super 8 Hotel, and she didn’t want to share a king-sized bed and insisted that John get them two rooms. John listened to Bush on TV announce that he earned capital in the election and he planned to spend it on what he told the people he would. There was free Wi-Fi at the hotel, but John couldn’t get Internet to update his blog. John and Chloe left to eat after they checked into their rooms. Chloe explained that she was a physical education teacher before the campaign. John planned to mainly focus on the Donkey Revolution blog and possibly do freelance because graphic design work was portable. John and Chloe agreed to meet back up at 8:30 the next morning. John heard on the news that Colin Powell and three other government officials resigned, and then the comedian reporter started taking her clothes off. The next morning, John taught Chloe how to drive stick and they set off. At Seddon’s rest stop, John called his mom to tell her that he was in Oregon and would visit her and his dad in Washington State later that day. He warned his mom that his friend Chloe might be a blue-haired lesbian, and then he told Chloe that they were visiting his parents. She was fine with it as long as they weren’t her parents, and then she drove. They listened to clips from Bush’s speeches that John compiled on a CD, and he told Chloe they needed to listen to the mistakes to find out the person’s true character. John and Chloe arrived at John’s parents’ house. John’s mom was surprised by Chloe’s dog collar, and Chloe explained that it was a new look and showed John’s mom a picture of how she looked decent a few days before with no blue hair and nose piercing. John’s dad was a Bush supporter and told John that democratic John was what was wrong with America today. Mr. Logue commented on the ragheads that were flushed out of Baghdad, and John retorted that 14 American troops were killed in the process. The conversation at dinner was political, and Mr. Logue called John out for defending the Middle Eastern terrorists when they caused 9/11 on American soil. John argued that it wasn’t the foreigners responsible for 9/11 but in fact the American government pushing their agenda on the people. Mr. Logue blamed the media for the bad information about the Middle East that affected American citizens. Mrs. Logue left the table, and Chloe followed. Mrs. Logue explained that her husband wasn’t always like that and their other son Perry was a soldier in Iraq. John told Mr. Logue that they could believe different things, but Mr. Logue argued that it wasn’t a difference of opinion if John’s brother died in Iraq for a cause that most of the family believed was right. Mr. Logue told his son John to leave, and he gave his mom a hug since she couldn’t understand why he kept provoking his dad. John and Chloe left, and they argued in their car about supporting troops in the Iraqi war. Chloe wouldn’t voice her own opinion, so John thought she was siding with his parents. They stayed in a motel with two rooms and the next morning prepared to cross the border into Canada. Chloe made a call from a payphone to tell someone that she was okay. Before they crossed into Canada, Chloe demanded that John pull over. She confessed that she lied about being a gym teacher and that was her dad’s job. Chloe explained that she was actually in the Army and was supposed to ship out for her second tour in Iraq the next day, and her hair dye and piercings were just for the Canadian trip. Chloe told John to drive her back to Spokane where she would take the bus home, but John talked her into crossing the border with him and regretted that he couldn’t convince Perry to become a democrat. Chloe was worried that they would run her passport and find out she was AWOL in Canada when she didn’t show up for duty the next day. The Canadian customs officer checked their passports and asked them a few questions, and John lied that they were visiting his aunt Gloria. The Canadian border agent told them that American beer tasted like pee and then he welcomed them to Canada. John and Chloe stopped at a bar, and she told her story about the generations of soldiers in her family. She only enlisted in the army because the recruiter reassured her and told her three times that she would never see combat because she was a woman after she dropped out of college and had a failed relationship with her boyfriend. John’s response was Jesus name in vain. John explained that he had to leave the country because his vote didn’t matter and his president didn’t get elected after all the hard work he did. Otherwise that meant John was forced to live under the regimen of a Republican president that he didn’t believe in. Chloe accused John of running away from his problems. John and Chloe shared a motel room with two beds, and he was disappointed that they didn’t have sex that night because younger Chloe drank too much and passed out. The next day, they drove to Gloria’s house where people of all ages were drinking and partying to celebrate a wedding that just occurred. Gloria explained that a couple had to live together for six months in order to get citizenship, and she pointed out that some of the girls that John was interested in from online were there. Chloe wasn’t pleased that it was a mixer dating potential marriage event, and John argued that it was more of a NAFTA meeting. Canadian Gloria smoked cigarettes and sarcastically told John about how American people voted Republican because they believed it was in line with moral values. An American man then cornered Chloe and wanted to have sex with her because he didn’t hate President Bush and just came to Canada for sex. Gloria who put the horny man in her penalty box interrupted them. Chloe was upset and told John so as Rebecca introduced herself to John as a potential date he liked online. That night after many had left Gloria’s house, the American man was passed out on the couch in his underwear. Gloria showed Chloe to her room and then took John into her own bedroom and told him to sleep on a cot. John and Chloe went out to the car to get their stuff, and they got into a heated argument. She punched him and called him a wuss for hiding behind his Democrat ways that he thought were the best thing ever when it was ruining his life and those around him. Gloria nursed John’s sore face after he lied that he fell down the stairs, and then they appeared to have had sex. The next morning, Gloria took Chloe and John on a tour around Winnipeg. John and Gloria went curling at the rink while Chloe talked to Randall, a man from Detroit who grew up on the streets and could tell her character. Gloria suggested that she and John go to City Hall and apply for their marriage license since they had three months to make it legal. She wanted him to hurry up and begin the process of becoming a Canadian citizen, and John said he could always apply for asylum to avoid marrying Gloria. The Canadian female encouraged John to keep writing his blog and explained that they weren’t in love, but they were both political activists and needed to be together. John tried to talk to Chloe before he went to City Hall, but Chloe told him he was a jerk for trying to make a statement by marrying a 50-year-old activist and having a sexual relationship with the Canadian while trying to date Chloe on the side. John and Gloria spoke to a male Canadian representative at City Hall, who couldn’t believe that 45 million Americans were uninsured since the couple would have instant universal health care once they were married. Gloria joked about one of her friends moving to the states and how he could tell her about the 300 million fat and stupid Americans living there (even though the Canadian government worker was overweight). John signed the paperwork with Chloe and Randall as witnesses. Back at Gloria’s house, there was another party after a Jewish couple got married and Gloria announced that she and John had their license to get married. John told Chloe that they were leaving and went upstairs to pack their bags. Meanwhile, Randall (from Detroit) told Chloe that he wanted to do a Bonnie-and-Clyde thing with her and go stake out the White House. She would take out Vice President Cheney while he assassinated President Bush, and Randall had been planning it for a while but needed a partner in crime to make it work. As John came downstairs, Randall pulled out his gun and announced that Chloe was staying with him. Chloe knocked Randall down and took his gun, and John told Gloria that it wasn’t going to work out between them and he was leaving with Chloe. Gloria said that John was like all other Americans who did whatever they wanted. Randall followed John and Chloe out of the house and tried to tell her that he was joking about the Bush assassination. Randall then ran after the car to try and get his gun back, so Chloe took the bullets out of the gun and threw the gun on a lawn in the neighborhood. John and Chloe drove to Vancouver where they believed they could find normal people their own age. They ran out of gas on the side of the road because John refused to stop at a station that had Middle Eastern oil. They walked to a café where they met Charlie, an American man from California who had lived in Canada for 35 years. The gas stations were already closed for the night, so Charlie siphoned them some gas but announced that it wasn’t enough to get them far. Charlie took John and Chloe to his remote Lincoln type settler cabin, where he gave them bottles of his homemade beer. He also bragged that he made the Strawberry Statement Stout kind, and John recognized the name as an anti-Vietnam War riot that the college students organized and took over Columbia University. Charlie participated in that campus takeover, and then he got drafted so he moved to Canada. He admitted that nobody cared that he moved north and he only did it save his butt from fighting in the war. He wasn’t happy living in Canada and added that Americans no longer drafted people. Charlie went to bed and left John and Chloe in the small cabin with lots of his alcohol brew. Many beers later, John convinced Chloe that he never had sex with Gloria (not what Canadian Gloria claimed) because he was too drunk and Chloe said that Randall was a terrorist and nothing happened between them. Chloe announced that she was going back home to face the music now before she ended up living in a rustic log cabin in Canada 30 years from now and hating her life. She knew that her fellow soldiers in her platoon had already labeled her as a disgrace to her country for deserting. John admitted that his brother Perry died when his plane crashed shortly after Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” speech. John’s parents were in denial and couldn’t handle their military son’s death in the Middle East war so they pretended he was still alive. Chloe wanted John to drop her off because they reached the border so he wouldn’t be involved in her criminal situation fleeing the country. John told Chloe that she was the best thing that had happened to him, so the two kissed and had sex. The next morning, they said goodbye to Charlie and headed to the border. They stopped just outside the port of entry and discussed how if Chloe were lucky, she would get a dishonorable discharge from the military. Chloe quoted “politics make strange bedfellows” from John’s blog and told him that he was a good writer and should pursue politics. John and Chloe kissed goodbye and she walked to the border. John drove off but then decided not to be a runaway anymore, so he turned around and decided to back to the USA. At the gate, Chloe was already arrested and handcuffed in the custody of a border patrol officer because her passport had been flagged. In the end, John picked Chloe up from the military prison and they were happy to see each other. They left together after John gave Chloe a voting button with his name on it because he planned on running as a democratic senator in California to change the country. The movie cover art listed, Martin Kelley, CinemATL, “Disarmingly fun.” 


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