DATE REVIEWED: 10/3/24
TITLE: John Carter
BOX OFFICE RATED: PG-13 (This is not suitable for GOD’s children.)
PRODUCTION YEAR: 2012 Walt Disney Pictures / Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1
REASON. The movie started on Mars, real planet’s name Barsoom, and it had breathable air and supported life. The city of Zodanga (red) brought destruction to the planet, but the city of Helium (blue) were good and fought against Zodanga for a thousand years. One battle ended with Matai Shang, the Hekkador leader of the shapeshifting Therns who were servants of the Goddess Issus, appearing to Sab Than, the Jeddak (leader) of Zodanga. Matai gave Sab a weapon directly from the Goddess so Sab could take over Mars. The next scene was In New York City in 1881, Confederate Army Captain John Carter from Virginia sent a telegraph to his nephew Edgar “Ned” Rice Burroughs at the College of William and Mary summoning him to Carter’s estate. The estate was filled with hundreds of priceless artifacts from around the world that Carter dug up and collected. John’s butler, Thompson, and attorney, Noah Dalton, informed Ned upon arrival to New York City that Carter suddenly died, so Dalton read Carter’s will to Ned. It stated that Ned would own the estate after 25 years, and Carter left his journal for Ned to read and only Ned. Carter explained his story in writing. He arrived at an Arizona outpost in 1868, where he tried to buy supplies for finding a cave of gold. The shopkeeper, Dix, refused him service and cut Carter’s credit off because he owed money and didn’t pay his tab. A group of men tried to attack Carter, but he fought them off. He held Dix at gunpoint and gave him a piece of gold to pay for the supplies and more. Carter was taken to the fort by force, where he tried to attack Union Colonel Powell multiple times and was locked into a cell. Powell tried to recruit Carter to help the Union fight the Apaches who were killing people, but Carter refused. He knocked out the guard and took his keys, and then Carter fled on Powell’s horse. Powell and his men chased after Carter and were confronted by the Apaches, who Carter spoke with until a soldier started a gunfight. Powell was shot, and Carter rescued him and the two hid out in a cave. Carter discovered that it was filled with gold, and then a Thern attacked Carter. He shot the Thern, who used a medallion to transport Carter to Mars before he died. After many frustrating attempts, Carter learned how to jump across the surface of the planet to travel distances. He found a nest of hatchlings belonging to the alien race of Tharks, and 18 of the eggs didn’t hatch. They shot at Carter, but their Jeddak Tars Tarkas stopped them and tried to make peace with Carter. He was hostile, so the Tharks took him hostage and brought him to their village. Sab used his new weapon to massacre the people at the border of Helium, and their Jeddak Tardos Mors was at a loss for what to do. His daughter, Princess Dejah Thoris the regent of the Royal Helium Academy of Science, discovered that the blue light in the weapon was the Ninth Ray, which offered limitless power and could be used to restore Mars. Matai disguised himself as a Helium and tampered with Dejah’s Ninth Ray decide. Tardos announced that Sab offered to call a truce between Zodanga and Helium if Dejah married him. She was upset, but Tardos agreed to the truce so Helium would be saved. Tal Hajus, a Thark, tried to challenge Tars for his authority but no one backed Tal up. Tars mistook Carter’s name for Virginia, and Carter refused to show off his jumping skills to the Tharks. He was initiated into Thark society with the hatchlings, and then he escaped from his chains. He tried to retrieve the medallion that Tars had, but a dog-like creature called Woola followed him around. The Tharks attacked Woola, so Carter fought them off and accidentally killed one of them. Woola belonged to Sola, so she was branded with another mark as punishment. Her body had no more room for marks, so her next offense would be punished by death. A red Zodanga airship and blue Helium airship then attacked each other. Dejah had run away from Helium so she wouldn’t have to marry Sab, and she fell from an airship. Carter caught her, and she used her warrior skills to fight off the Zodanga soldiers while Carter used a Helium airship to down a Zodanga airship. Matai wouldn’t let Sab kill Carter, so the two fought with swords until the Tharks joined in the battle against Zodanga and defeated the battalion. Carter jumped down to safety on the surface, and the Tharks celebrated him as a hero. Tars threatened to harm Dejah if Carter didn’t fight for the Tharks as their Dotar Sojat, so he agreed. Dejah wanted Carter to teach Helium his skill of jumping so they would have a fighting chance against Zodanga. Dejah explained that all the planets had different names than the ones humans called them, and Carter realized that he was on Mars and Earth was Jasoom. Dejah mistook Carter for a Thern and took him to the Thark temple despite Sola the Thark’s warnings that it was forbidden. Dejah offered to take Carter down the River Iss to the Gates where he could get back to Earth, and he agreed. The trio were captured and accused of plotting evil against the Tharks, planning to steal the medallion from Tar,s and disrespecting Issus. The penalty was being put in the arena to get eaten by beasts, but Carter recognized that Sola was Tars’ daughter. Tars betrayed the Tharks and freed Carter, Dejah and Sola. He gave them the medallion and insisted that they take Sola with them to the Gates. Dejah led them, but Sola and Carter realized she was headed to Helium. They tried to leave her behind, but they made amends after hearing her reasons. They headed down the River and found a structure that contained the power of the Ninth Ray. The Therns had harvested some of the power from there and gave it to Sab in the form of a weapon. Carter and Dejah discovered that Carter was telegraphed to Mars and was a copy of himself, and Dejah translated a series of symbols into words that had to be chanted while holding one of the Therns’ medallions in order to be telegraphed to another planet. Dejah and Carter kissed, and he had flashbacks of when his house was burned to the ground during the war and his wife Sarah and their child died. The Tharks then attacked Carter’s group. Tal now led the Tharks after he won a challenge against Tars. Carter sent Dejah away with Sola while he faced the army and fought them with a vengeance. They were found by a Helium airship, and Tardos and Sab were onboard. Carter was injured from the fight, and he was taken to Zodanga where Admiral Kantos Kan from Helium posed as Zodanga to help Carter fight off the guards. Carter went to Dejah, who was being dressed for the wedding. He wouldn’t agree to fight for Helium, so Dejah gave him the medallion and told him the words he needed to say to return to Earth. Carter didn’t finish the incantation and was taken captive by Matai, who disguised himself as a female. He took the medallion and explained that Dejah would die when she and Sab exchanged wedding vows that night and the two moons aligned because Dejah knew about the Ninth Ray. The Therns had put the power of the Ninth Ray into Sab’s hands so he could do the hard part of world domination and destruction, and then he would rule Mars according to the rules of the game that the Therns had been playing with several planets since the beginning of time. Woola came to Carter’s rescue and fought off Matai, and Carter retrieved the medallion. Sola helped him escape on a flying machine, but then the Tharks captured the two. Carter and Tars were put into the arena to be killed by two giant blind white apes, but Carter was able to kill the apes. Sola threw Sarkoja, an evil female Thark, into the arena and then Sola rescued Tars. Carter challenged Tal, and all the Tharks supported Carter’s challenge. He killed Tal and took his place as Jeddak of the Tharks, and he recruited all the Tharks to travel to Helium and fight Zodanga. However, the Tharks refused to fly to Helium, so Carter went alone. He crashed the wedding, and the Zodanga and Helium soldiers clashed. The Tharks changed their minds and took an aircraft to Helium to join the fight, and Carter and Sab fought until Carter cut Sab’s arm off. Carter and Tars attacked Matai and he disappeared, and Helium won the battle. Carter and Dejah got married, and Carter threw the medallion away and decided that Mars was his home. Matai then appeared and used his medallion to transport Carter back to Earth. He found himself back in the cave, where Powell was now a skeleton. Carter realized that the cave was a Thern way station, and for the next ten years he searched the world for another one so he could find another medallion and use it to return to Mars. Carter supposedly died at his estate, and he was put in a crypt that could only be opened from the inside. His instructions to Ned in the journal were to protect Carter’s body from the Therns, who had been watching Carter’s every move since his return to Earth in hopes of destroying his body so his body on Mars would also die. Ned used his name as the key to open the empty crypt, and then a Thern tried to kill Ned. Carter was still alive, and he shot the Thern with a toxin that simulated death. Ned agreed to protect Carter’s body on Earth, and Carter took the Thern’s medallion and locked himself into the crypt where he used the incantation to return to Mars. This movie had a budget of $263 million and grossed over $284 million at the box office. The movie cover art listed, Michael Sauter, Life & Style “Nonstop action.”