DATE REVIEWED: 7/20/23
TITLE: Sweet Home Alabama
BOX OFFICE RATED: PG-13 (This is not suitable for God’s children.)
PRODUCTION YEAR: 2002 Touchstone Pictures/Buena Vista Pictures Distribution
RATING [1 LEAST FAVORITE TO 5 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED]: 1
REASON: This movie began with ten-year-old Melanie Carmichael (Smooter her and her parents last name, Perry her married named in high school time but she went by Carmichael for her NY adult business) and her then young boy friend Jake Perry running on a deserted beach camping area during a thunderstorm. Jake wanted young Mel to answer his question about whether or not she would marry him. Melanie replied that she was too young and had too much to live for. Right in front of them, lightning struck the sand and Melanie told Jake that the spot was hot and they had to wait for it to cool before they could touch it. Melanie asked Jake what did he want to marry her for anyhow and he replied so he could kiss her anytime he wanted. Lightning then struck both of them while they kissed because they thought lightning never struck the same place twice. Fast forward many years into real time, and as Melanie got back to her NY City apartment, she discovered her new love interest and wealthy city secretary boyfriend, Andrew Hennings, had left roses and put rose petals all over the floor and he also left a message for her on the answering machine wishing her luck in the fashion show later on because Mel was a designer. A man named Frederick Montana who had helped Melanie get to the high level she was now at in her career, ever since Melanie moved to New York from her Alabama country life years ago, then approached Melanie backstage and wished her luck. Melanie’s designer clothes that the models wore were kind of eccentric, but Mel did well during the show. Later that night, Melanie headed to a fundraiser that Andrew was doing to help his mom, Kate Hennings, the mayor of New York City. The limo picked Mel up and made a pit stop where Andrew met up with his girlfriend inside a dark building. Andrew talked about going to Ireland and having 200 or 300 guests for Christmas and Mel was confused and didn’t know what he was rambling about until the lights came on and Melanie discovered that they were standing inside a jewelry store. Andrew got down on one knee and proposed to Mel after they had been dating each other for eight months, and Mel questioned if he was sure in front of the staffers watching. Andrew asked Mel again, and this time she accepted happily and he told her to pick a ring. As Mayor Kate arrived at the fundraiser, the reporters said that sources say Andrew and Mel were engaged, and Kate didn’t know about that and said she would have a comment if her son were engaged. In the back of the limo, Andrew wanted to call Mel’s parents and tell them the news, but she said no and wanted to keep the engagement a secret for a while. She went on to explain it was because she hadn’t seen her family in seven years and would rather tell them in person and she thought she should tell them alone, and she said it was because Andrew was a Yankee and a Democrat and so he agreed to let her go back to Alabama alone. Andrew and Mel were late to the fundraiser, and Kate was suspicious why and shook Mel’s hand, and then Kate turned over the engagement ring that Mel had flipped to the inside in order to hide the huge rock on her finger. The reporters quickly snapped photos of Mel’s ring with Mel and Mayor Kate’s shocked expressions and put that photo along with a caption, “They’re Engaged! The Big Apple Falls In Love,” on the front page of the newspaper. The next day, Mel and her best friend, Tabatha Wadmore-Smith, talked about the engagement news and Mel said she couldn’t stop by with the girls and chat about it because her NY flight just landed in Alabama and was driving her rental car to the small town of Pigeon Creek (where Mel was raised by her parents). Mel made a pit stop and showed up at her backwoods husband Jake Perry’s house and demanded a divorce because for seven years she had sent him divorce papers but he always sent them back and refused to sign them. She wanted Jake to hurry up and the sign the papers because she had a plane to catch, and she said she wasn’t shi**ing him and didn’t even know what that meant, and Jake’s copy of the paper even had idiot-proof tabs to make it easy for him. They got into an argument where Mel said her lawyer, charged $350 an hourand she had to pay that every time Jake sent the papers back unsigned. They both yelled at the bloodhound dog to shut up but called him different names, Bryant and Bear, and Mel was wondering why the dog’s name was Bryant and Jake replied that this was a new dog because Bear died. Jake told Mel that the only family she had were her parents and if she went to go see her parents (and he knew they had no idea that their only daughter was even in town), then maybe Melanie and him would talk. They got into another heated argument and Mel wanted to know what Jake was doing with Mo Plydell’s airplane on the lake by Jake’s house, and Jake refused to answer as Mel stormed off. Mel got into the house using the Hide-A-Key outside where she left it all those years ago, and Jake said it would be nice if his wife ever told him where it was, and Mel responded that she wasn’t Jake’s wife, just the first girl who jumped in the back of his truck. New York City Mayor Kate used a city worker on her “special” payroll to get the dirt on Mel in Alabama and they found out there was no Melanie Carmichael listed anyone. Kate mentioned that Andrew was still recovering from breaking up with his last girlfriend, Whitney Truesdale the lawyer from San Francisco, and said that was a match made in Heaven because Whitney’s connections were society, political family and California, which equaled a lot of electoral votes. Kate called Andrew and told him that happy couples didn’t sell so if there were any skeletons in Melanie’s closet he needed to tie up the loose ends immediately so they didn’t cause bad publicity for Kate and ruin the chances of her or her son running for office. NY Mayor Kate then ordered Barry Lowenstein from the New York Post to spy on Melanie in Alabama (but it appeared he was Kate’s personal assitant who found out about the discrepancy in Mel’s last night through his unscrupulous contacts in high mayor places). Back in Alabama, Jake called the sheriff on Melanie, and Mel told Jake that the old bastard (sheriff) hated her and so Mel tried to make a quick exit out the back door. However, the new sheriff in town turned out to be an old high school partner in crime, Wade, who called her name by Felony Melanie. Melanie was happy to see that it wasn’t the old sheriff because he retired and Wade was now the sheriff, and Wade replied that he liked his small town sheriff job because he got to frisk pretty little things like Melanie all day and get paid for it. Wade told Melanie that she couldn’t go breaking into people’s houses, and even though she argued that she had a key to get in Wade said it still wasn’t her house and he would have to escort her out. Jake begged his old school buddy Wade to use the handcuffs on Melanie. Melanie chimed in and told the sheriff that she was there for Jake to sign the bill of divorcement, and Wade turned to Jake and said he thought Jake took care of that and Jake lied and said he thought he had. The officer friend informed Jake that if he and Melanie were still married, it was nothing more than a domestic dispute because it was her house too and there was nothing Wade could do. Wade asked Melanie if Jake hit her because they took that stuff pretty seriously around those parts, but Melanie replied no. Sheriff Wade told the two that he didn’t have a single childhood memory that didn’t include them all, especially when he lit his butt on fire, but Jake told Wade that Memory Lane was closed. As Sheriff Wade was leaving the house, Jake told Wade that since Jake set Wade up with his wife, he owed Jake one and Wade replied that the law was the law and there was nothing he could do because Melanie didn’t do anything wrong. Jake mentioned Melanie shoplifting steaks at Winn-Dixie’s, and she argued that she took them back, and then Jake mentioned the vandalism incident and Melanie said she couldn’t tip a cow all by herself. Jake got Sheriff Wade’s attention then because there was an outstanding warrant for whoever dumped Wade’s mama’s tractor in the fishpond. Sheriff Wade arrested Melanie and took her into the sheriff department because Melanie was guilty of more criminal activity. Later that night, Melanie used the jail phone to call her parents, Pearl and Earl, and her mom picked up the phone and said that she knew her daughter was busy and appreciated the call. Pearl added that she usually talked on the phone when she was shelling peas or doing the dishes and Oprah called it “multitasking.” Melanie said she needed Earl to pick her up from jail, and in the truck, dad wanted to know what put her in jail this time. Melanie replied that it was Jake and his big fat mouth and it was a misunderstanding. Earl replied kind of life the wedding he paid for, and Melanie said that it was hardly a wedding because Jake was still drunk from the night before. Melanie went on to say that she went to the reception by herself with puke all over her dress while Jake slept it off in the Travelodge. Earl and Melanie went to the family trailer house where Melanie grew up, and she mentioned that she sent her parents plane tickets to visit her in New York one Christmas, but that wasn’t for them and they didn’t want to go. Earl had a new recliner that he wanted to show off, and he insisted that Melanie sit in it but it turned out to be a deep-sitting chair where her legs went flying up in the air when Earl pulled the lever to recline the chair. Pearl held onto the plane tickets all those years and now gave them back to Melanie, and she wasn’t happy about that because she said they were a gift and she couldn’t understand why her parents would visit every battlefield in the US but couldn’t make a trip to New York to see their only daughter. Melanie and Pearl argued about the beauty pageants Melanie was shoved in so she could get out of the state onto a better life than the one that was there. Melanie had another meltdown this time with her mom for no reason at all. The argument ended with Pearl telling her daughter to make herself happy and Melanie showing off her high dollar engagement ring from the Mayor’s democratic political son in New York City. As Mayor Kate conversed with her son in NYC, Kate wasn’t pleased that Andrew wanted to spend Christmas in Ireland and told him that he was just like his father because one minute he was brilliant, controlled and steadfast, and the next minute he was throwing it all away on some young piece of a**. Andrew replied by telling his mom that those were Kate’s issues not his. The next day, Melanie called her attorney, Mr. Wallace Buford, and told him that she didn’t have eighteen months for a contested divorce to be finalized because she didn’t even have eighteen days. Her phone call was interrupted because another one of her old high school gang, Bobby Ray, hollered at Melanie from his truck as she crossed the street and then he complimented her on her designer outfit and Calvin Klein perfume. They discussed a possibility of Cindy and Bobby Ray relationship as they were together back in high school, and he told Melanie that Cindy was now a women’s softball coach up in Nashville. Mel replied that would answer some questions that she had back in high school when Cindy (lesbian) and her played a game of post office. She then told Bobby Ray that they all had their own little secrets (implying that she knew Bobby Ray was gay after being around her gay pal Frederick in New York). Bobby Ray replied he knew about all the cocks in her henhouse because he read about it on the Internet. Melanie and Bobby Ray went their separate waays and Melanie went to the local bank and met up with Dorothea, another high school acquaintance of hers who she hardly recognized because Dorothea lost 110 pounds. Dorothea said the bank manager didn’t want an ATM machine because you would lose personal contact with the customers. Melanie then found out that Wade and Dorothea had been married for three years and Dorothea showed Melanie her wedding ring which she said wasn’t Tiffany’s, but then again you couldn’t believe everything you heard on TV. Because Sheriff Wade told his wife that Jake and Melanie were still married, Dorothea gave Melanie access to Jake and her joint account there at the bank. Melanie then made a withdrawal from the Jake’s Alabama account, so later that night Jake came home to find that Melanie cleaned up the house and got some new furniture including the fridge which Jake wasn’t happy Melanie filled with chick food. As Jake guzzled an entire Bud Light, he discovered that Melanie took all the money out of his account, and she said he had the wife he wanted. Mel questioned what all the money in his checking account was for and why wasn’t he investing it and wanted to know if he was doing anything illegal to get it and also when he quit the tire factory and added that she would give the money back if Jake signed the divorce papers. Jake said maybe he was doing something illegal and told her since he didn’t discuss her own boyfriend she should mind her own business, and then he took the pen and told Melanie that nobody found their soul mate when they were ten years old. Melanie pointed out that she couldn’t believe Jake kept the glass blown figurine of what sand looked like when lightning struck it all those years. Instead of signing the paperwork, Jake jumped up and said he had to leave because he had to meet up with his hot date. Melanie changed her outfit and later on went to the local bar where Jake went. Outside in the parking lot before she entered the drinking place, Mel got a call from Andrew who told her that the newspaper labeled Melanie as,“the next big one.” Inside the bar, Melanie met up with Stella Kay, Jake’s mom who was the bar owner and Stella told her baby girl it was good to see her and told her waitstaff to give Melanie anything she wanted to drink. Right after that, Melanie bumped into another schoolmate, Lurlynn, who was carrying around on her hip her small baby. Melanie was shocked that Lurlynn had a baby in the saloon, and Lurlynn replied that since her baby was still on the tit she could cart him anywhere while her other three kids were at home. Lurlynn went on to say she almost bought, the other day, the same shirt Melanie was wearing now, but her husband Clinton Taylor would kill her if she spent $30 on a sweater thing.Melanie corrected that it wasn’t Jaclyn Smith’s design but Melanie’s own that Melanie designed it in New York and added that Bergdorf’s just picked it up to sell. Melanie walked up behind Jake and met his hot date Starr, and Melanie introduced herself as Melanie, Jake’s snotty Yankee-bit** wife who he refused to divorce even though she was engaged to another man. Jake sent Starr off to get drinks, and as the night went on Melanie got more drunk and obnoxious as she hung out with her old high school crowd playing pool including her husband as her husband’s girlfriend watched too (although Mel claimed she wasn’t the watch and see kind of girl and like to be in on the action). Clinton tried to chime in and tell Melanie she might want to keep her husband, but Jake silenced Clinton and told him to let Melanie think whatever she wanted and since she had waited seven years he would probably divorce her. Eldon brought up the football game from high school that everybody was still talking about seven years after it happened and how the team made a comeback and won the game. Melanie blurted out how could she couldn’t forget because that was the night Jake got her pregnant, and Jake said why don’t you just go public with that sh**. Melanie said that it wasn’t like anybody could keep a secret in a small town except for Bobby Ray and revealed Bobby Ray’s secret that he was gay. Bobby Ray responded that Melanie was unhappy because Women’s Wear Daily called her designs less than mediocre, so then Melanie yelled back at Bobby Ray why doesn’t he just go to a gay bar. Eldon wanted to know what B Ray would do at a gay bar and that was when Eldon finally realized that his friend was gay. Bobby Ray stormed off, and Melanie ordered more drinks for her bar friends and Stella cut her off and told Melanie she had enough. Melanie said she did have enough and went off about how the people lived the way they did in the rural area (no doubt her end game was to have gay NY ways take over small town America). Melanie didn’t like how the simple people didn’t change over the years and kept life so simple without the outsider craziness of fast paced city people. Jake dragged Melanie out of the bar as she told everyone there was a great big world out there. Jake grabbed Mel’s purse to take her car keys away and told her if she was going to kill herself by driving drunk then she was going to do it somewhere else because he wasn’t going to let her do that even though she was ranting and raving about her going places and being better than everybody else. Melanie told Jake to get a new dream because he couldn’t play football anymore and Jake put her in his truck so he could drive her to her parents’ house. Starr came out of the bar and stated that the date was over, but Jake gave her the keys to drive Melanie’s rental car follow him to Earl and Pearl’s house. Melanie then threw up in the driver’s seat of Jake’s truck, and Jake had to carry Melanie into the trailer trailer house and it was just like old high school times it seemed but now a lot older and the parents didn’t want to deal with their daughter’s bad behavior anymore. The next morning, Melanie rolled over onto the signed divorce papers on her pillow because Jake had enough and didn’t know the person Melanie became in New York and didn’t want to either. Melanie got up out of bed as Earl was dressed in his Confederate costume leaving the house for a reenactment of history for his work, and Melanie was uncertain how she was going to explain her dad’s job to NYC. Melanie went to Jake’s house and told him that she put all the money back in his account and he thanked her because it would save him from bouncing a lot of checks. He added that he liked what Melanie did with his house because it should sell quicker since he planned on moving to Tuscaloosa because he had been spending a lot of his time there. He asked Melanie if she wanted to come because he was leaving on his airplane with Bryant because he was excited to show her something that he had been working on for some time. She said she couldn’t because the girl he knew didn’t have a life and he told her to go live that life then and he left. Later that day, Melanie went to the post office and spoke to the postman who was still the same one from high school days at the counter and she mailed off to Mr. Buford the signed divorce papers. She asked for Bobby Ray Bailey’s house address, and the mailman gave her the personal information and replied that he lived at 813 Lafayette, and he added that he remembered Melanie because she used to steal catfish from his pond. Once she apologized for doing that, the postman added that Bobby Ray went over to the Carmichael plantation and visited with his grandfather (Colonel Murphy) on the weekends because it was tourist season and all to help him out. Melanie went to the Carmichael plantation (the last name she used for her New York designer job), and she almost told the maid when the door was answered that her name was Melanie Carmichael but caught herself and said she was Melanie Smooter and she was looking for Bobby Ray. The maid replied that if he were still alive he would be out back. In the backyard, Bobby Ray popped his head up from behind the hedge with his grandfather in soldier regalia and told Melanie not to move because she was standing in the middle of the backyard and they just set off a cannon and the cannon ball already destroyed the gazebo. Bobby Ray paused his playtime with grandpa and told Melanie they weren’t aiming at her, but he doubted he would go to her funeral. Bobby Ray said that Jake wasn’t the only one she ran out on, and Melanie apologized for outing Bobby Ray in front of the town. As Melanie was leaving the house, Barry snapped some picturesof her and introduced himself as Barry from the New York Post (lying because he worked for the mayor’s office in NYC) and announced that he was there to interview her and her family. Melanie replied that her parents weren’t home, and Barry went on that the estate was just as Melanie described it and it must have been amazing growing up there and she lied that it was. Barry insisted on seeing the inside of the house, so Melanie gave him a very quick tour and pretended that she knew where everything was and tried to hide Barry from the servants. Bobby Ray then appeared and Barry told him that Miss Carmichael was just showing him around and Bobby Ray didn’t understand because he knew Melanie’s last name wasn’t Carmichael. She chimed in so she wouldn’t be found out and said that Mr. Lowenstein was writing a piece on the family (Carmichael), so Bobby Ray was aware that Melanie was lying about her last name and would go along with her story and play along like a childhood game to fool the reporter, and added that the publicity was because she was marrying the NYC mayor’s son. Bobby Ray introduced himself to Barry as Melanie’s cousin, and then he took Barry out to the backyard and explained to his very old grandpa that Barry was doing an article on Melanie’s wedding and grandpa replied that he never heard of Melanie and the trio laughed it off as though the old man was senile. Since grandpa (home owner) was now introduced to the reporter and Melanie, Bobby Ray knew he could give Barry a tour around the estate and made up stories as they went along no doubt about Melanie growing up there. Barry drove away happy with his information and went back to NYC to report to the mayor what he learned not even meeting Melanie’s real parents. Melanie then went to the catfish festival, where she made amends with Lurlynn and then Lurlynn told Melanie that Jake went to NYC after Melanie left because he knew he needed to be something more successful to win Melanie back. Melanie never knew that Jake came to NYC and he had been trying ever since to make something of himself. Melanie realized that was why Jake sent the divorce papers back all those years. Later on, people country danced at the street festival that evening. Jake showed up with Bobby Ray and joined Clinton and Lurlynn without their children in sight, and Eldon, Melanie, Sheriff Wade and Dorothea. Melanie noticed these beautiful drinking glasses made by the Deep South Glass company and wanted to know where she could get some, and Eldon was silenced by Jake who played dumb about not knowing where she could get some of that glass and told his friends not to tell Melanie because she was leaving. “Sweet Home Alabama” played in the background and everyone started dancing as Eldon said let’s show some respect and put his hat over his heart. Lurlynn asked Jake to dance because Clinton had two left feet, and Jake told Ms. Taylor they should show everyone how it was done and they went out on the dancefloor. Melanie danced with Clinton after she yelled to Bobby Ray that he was the Lord of the Dance. Melanie and Lurlynn switched partners and Jake and Melanie stood in front of each other but Melanie didn’t want to dance with him. Some of the older female townsfolk stood on the sidelines with Pearl and mentioned that Jake and Melanie were good for each other and they shouldn’t fight it, and Pearl wasn’t happy to hear that. Melanie said maybe they should talk instead of dance and Jake walked away. After the festivities were over, Melanie walked to the Coon Dog Cemetery and visited Bear’s grave and in tears told him that she was selfish because she left Bear’s side when he never left hers. Jake then appeared behind Melanie and he said it looked like she was having fun that night, and she replied that she happy in New York but she is happy in Alabama too. Jake told Melanie that it didn’t have to be one or the other, and he showed her the lightning bugs in the distance. He then asked her if she ever wondered what would have happened if she didn’t get pregnant, and he added that he thought the baby would have been an adventure but then realized that it would have been Melanie’s only adventure. Melanie replied that she was ashamed for feeling relieved after the miscarriage and that all of a sudden, she needed a different life. Jake added that he was sorry he never danced with Melanie at their wedding and he was sure her next wedding would go better for her. That led to Melanie and Jake passionately kissing but he stopped it and told her to go home because she was getting married to another man. The next day, as Melanie was taking her luggage out of her parents’ trailer house, Pearl told her to stay away from Alabama because she didn’t want Melanie trapped in the small town because Pearl wasn’t happy with her life there and didn’t want her daughter ending up like Pearl. Pearl added that she saw Jake and Melanie reconnecting on the dancefloor and told Melanie so, and Melanie told her mama to shut up and that she couldn’t control Jake’s love for her and he hadn’t done anything wrong. Pearl told Melanie she got a second chance so not to mess it up, and Melanie replied for who because it seemed Pearl wanted to be gone more than Melanie. Pearl replied not to be disrespectful to her since raising Melanie had been more than a chore (Melanie arrested multiple times), and Melanie said she went to her mom’s precious beauty pageants (obvious with all the trophies in Melanie’s room) and Pearl said that was so Melanie would have some kind of way out of the country life and added that Jake was quicksand. Melanie hugged her mama and said she would see her in New York and tried to convince Pearl she would like the city. Pearl told Melanie to stop by the battlefield and say goodbye to her dad. Melanie, around the soldiers playing dead on the battlefield, shouted for Earl, and then the actors in the Fifth Regiment came back to life and told her that Earl was about to surrender. Meanwhile, Jake almost ran into with his truck a rental SUV in the forked roadway on his way to the Carmichael plantation. Once there, Andrew got out of his Jeep. Andrew and Jake walked up the steps together and he asked Andrew if he was there to see Bobby Ray and Andrew said he was hoping to surprise his fiancée Melanie. Jake told Andrew he had the wrong house and Andrew asked if it was the Carmichael plantation, and Jake asked if they were talking about the same girl and at the same time they said Melanie together but Jake said Smooter and Andrew said Carmichael. They introduced themselves to each other and then they both continued to the door where Bobby Ray opened it and greeted Jake and had a smile for Andrew until Jake told him Andrew was Melanie’s fiancé. Bobby Ray introduced himself as Melanie’s cousin and he and Jake told Andrew that Jake was Melanie’s other cousin. Andrew was happy to meet Melanie’s family, and Bobby Ray told them Melanie was going to say goodbye to her dad at the battlefield and he knew that from when Bobby Ray was with Melanie last night. Bobby Ray added that the minute the Confederacy died it became a moral issue with the Southerners, and then Jake offered to drive in his truck Andrew to the battlefield (Andrew left his rental Jeep at the Carmichael house). During the ride over, Andrew asked who Melanie Smooter was and Jake replied that she was a local hero around there because she blew up the bank when she was ten after putting dynamite on Eldon’s cat’s back because it was scheduled to die and the vet said it had cancer. Melanie thought it was more humane that the cat died by dynamite than cancer. Mel couldn’t handle the chamber of death for the cat, so the unsupervised kids decided to put dynamite on the cat and lit a fuse to him and ran like hell and afterwards as they sat in Virgie’s Diner they spotted the cat trotting down the street searching for Eldon with the fuse still lit. Jake added that the kids could have caught the cat but once the fuse hit the cat’s tail he took off running like a shot and ran into the bank. Jake said that the cat might have gotten loose though because from time to time they saw a cat with a scorched tail around. Andrew asked what happened to Melanie, and Jake replied oh, you know, she wound up pregnant and married some loser (Jake) out of high school. As Earl surrendered on horseback, the tourists had a moment of silence with a trumpet playing in the background. Melanie waited for her dad to finish his act, as he rode away on horseback. Andrew and Jake appeared in the crowd as Melanie turned around, and Andrew kissed Melanie in front of Jake and she wasn’t exactly ecstatic to see Andrew and wanted to know what he was doing there. Jake said he came to deliver Melanie’s fiancé, and Andrew said she was talking to him not Jake. Jake said it must be exhausting for Melanie to live a lie, and then he told Andrew that they were both in love with two very different people. Jake walked away and Andrew wanted to know if Jake was Melanie’s second cousin, and she responded that Jake was her husband but then corrected herself ex-husband. Politician Andrew freaked out because he couldn’t believe Melanie married her cousin and got pregnant by him. Earl showed up then and introduced himself as Earl Smooter and tried to shake Andrew’s hand but Andrew refused to shake it because he figured it out that Melanie was Melanie Smooter and the Carmichaels weren’t part of her family so he walked away. Andrew told Melanie he didn’t know who she was and the only thing he knew was there was a Lear Jet in Mobile and he was on it and stormed off. Melanie went back to her mom and dad’s house. Pearl peeled plums and told Melanie that some of the worst plums made the best jam and her daughter didn’t spoil things in her life. Melanie helped her mom make jam, and then in walked Earl and Andrew because he found Andrew walking on the side of the road. Pearl said if she knew company was coming she would put on the dog and she was introduced to Andrew by Melanie who told him that Pearl’s jam was the best in many counties and this was the home that Melanie grew up in. Andrew said it was a pleasure to meet them both and gave them his name and said he was Melanie’s fiancé she if she still wanted him. Melanie did and it was told then that Andrew’s mom was the mayor of NYC and how they were going to have a fancy big in NYC and Earl was grumbling because he had to take work off to go to the wedding so Melanie decided that she wanted to have the wedding in her hometown. Andrew kind of freaked out and didn’t want to have it in the hick town and said he could pay for everything if she was worried about the money, but Melanie replied it wasn’t about the money in that place. Andrew came around and said a nice quiet country wedding would be great and stated that if Earl and Pearl could take care of the rehearsal dinner Andrew would pay for everything else, and they agreed. Andrew made it back to NYC and Mayor Kate had a hissy fit about the skeletons that came out of the closet with Felony Melanie and their country wedding and it all getting into the news. Kate said she didn’t know what was worst, child cat killer or sons of the Confederacy. Andrew wanted to know what he was supposed to do, dump Mel for being poor and Andrew reminded his New York mayor mom that she was supposed to be a Democrat. Kate raged on that there was nothing wrong with being poor because poor people elected her to office and she was a big person to commend Melanie for trying to make something out of her life (NY design). Kate was upset the most because Melanie lied, and Andrew retaliated that Mel was ashamed of her background and added that who wasn’t embarrassed by their parents at one point in their life. Andrew admitted that his mom was right about Melanie and then told Kate to get onboard because there was nothing anybody could do to change his mind, and whether or not Kate liked it, Andrew was marrying Melanie. Kate wanted to know how Little Miss Alabama was going to accommodate 500 people and wondered if she had connections at the jail, and Andrew replied there was a lot of places the guests could stay such as the Travelodge, Days Inn, Motel 6, or the Golden Cherry Motel where Andrew and Melanie would be staying. Andrew assured Kate that it wouldn’t get out that the wedding was happening in Alabama because the press expected them to be married in June at the Plaza. Melanie went back to New York and she kept leaving messages for Jake but he never answered and she met with and spoke to Mayor Kate who already had expensive plans worked out for the wedding to happen at the Carmichael plantation since Melanie’s name was inspired by that. Melanie then noticed Barry sitting in the limo as Mayor Kate got in and sat beside him. Mel recognized Barry as the fake imposter reporter who showed up in Alabama who was actually Mayor Kate’s personal assistant. Tabatha and Frederick flew into Alabama with Melanie. Tabatha told Melanie that the “sheik” proposed to her and she thought she loved him despite his billions, but she didn’t marry him because she hesitated long enough for her head and her heart to tell her they were feeling two different things. Melanie said it was a big decision and Tabatha replied it was supposed to be the easiest decision of your life. Frederick asked Melanie if marrying Andrew were the easiest decision she made, but Mel walked away because she spotted an advertisement for Deep South Glass that she had told her friends about days ago so they all went to Tuscaloosa to check it out. Melanie noticed Jake’s plane outside when they arrived at Deep South Glass and then realized that was where Jake kept going. Melanie walked quickly into the business leaving her friends to trail behind and as she entered she saw all of the beautiful glassware and told her friends that one design that Frederick liked was what happened to sand when it was struck by lightning and you had to dig it up once it cooled. Jake then came downstairs from his office with Bryant and walked by a vintage cigarette tobacco sign hanging on the wall behind him. Frederick said he saw Jake first, but Tabatha told him that Jake was already taken (by Mel). Jake welcomed everybody and acted as though he didn’t even know Melanie and put on a smile and took Bryant away so the trio could look around and shop and not cause a scene at his new business. Meanwhile, Mr. Buford walked into the local diner where Dorothea and Sheriff Wade were sitting at the counter and Buford asked for Melanie Carmichael. The sheriff asked anyone if they knew that name, and everybody played dumb and then a female asked Mr. Buford what business he had with Melanie and he said it was a private matter so the waitress replied that he couldn’t be helped and sent him on his way since he would not tell his reason for wanting Melanie. Sheriff Wade said damn reporters and Dorothea replied it was like the first ant at a picnic even though Mr. Buford wasn’t a reporter at all. Back at the Smooter residence, Pearl showed Frederick the Louisiana spoon she had collected along with others on her nationwide trips. Tabatha and Melanie were racing to take down all of Melanie’s beauty pageant trophies from her bedroom because NYC Mayor Kate was about to come for a visit. Mayor Kate and Andrew then arrived in their black SUV, and Earl joked that the mosquito was the state bird of Alabama because one was flying around the New York mayor’s face. As Pearl complained about how the house looked because it was such a mess, Earl offered the mayor a drink. Once inside, Kate sat her in Earl’s recliner and pulled the lever so her drink spilled all over her when her legs went flying up into the air like what happened to Melanie. Not long after, it was the wedding day. In the backyard of the Carmichael plantation, Mr. Buford tried to get in through the gate even though he wasn’t on the invitation list because he had business with the bride, but the security sent him away. At Jake’s house (not Tuscaloosa), Stella showed up on her way to the wedding and reminded Jake it was happening. She told her son that he was too much like his father and that he had faith all along for the last seven years that he and Mel were getting back together but all of a sudden he was going to let it go so quickly. Stella thought it wasn’t right that he was running off to go camping when a thunderstorm was coming instead of stopping a wedding that he knew wasn’t a good match between Andrew and Melanie because Jake was still in love with Melanie. Jake said he couldn’t control Mel or the weather. Pearl helped Melanie get dressed in her white wedding dress, and told Melanie it was just nerves even though she knew her daughter was having second thoughts about marrying Andrew, because of Melanie’s love for Jake too. Pearl discussed how she loved her husband even though sometimes he made her very angry and God only knows why. Pearl tried to convince Melanie that Andrew could give her a life that they never dreamed of and Andrew adored Melanie. That didn’t settle well with Melanie and she had more doubts than ever. As Melanie and her dad walked down the aisle toward Andrew and the preacher, Earl whispered to her that even if Andrew was a Yankee he was at least sober unlike Jake at Melanie’s first wedding. Mr. Buford somehow made it through all the security at the roadside checkpoint and ran up the aisle after Melanie but he as being tackled by men who were in black suits and looked like Secret Service. Melanie told the hired security to let Mr. Buford go, and he made his way up the aisle toward her and informed Mel that he received the divorce paperwork without the wife’s signature, only the husband’s was signed, so the divorce wasn’t valid and Melanie was still married to Jake…if she wanted to be. Melanie told Andrew it was an honest mistake and then asked somebody in the crowd for a pen she could use to sign the paperwork and make Jake’s divorce legal on the spot so she could get married to Andrew. Stella gave Melanie a pen and said these things don’t happen for a reason meaning she should stay married to Stella’s son, Jake. Earl told Melanie that she couldn’t ride two horses with one a**, meaning she needed to figure out which man she wanted to be with and go with it. Melanie held the pen in her hand to sign the papers but as she looked at Andrew she hesitated a couple of times and then put the pen down without signing and turned apologized to Andrew because she couldn’t marry him since she was in love with Jake. She told Andrew that she gave her whole heart away a long time ago and never got it back, and Andrew said wow and finally understood what it felt like to be rejected in such a way. Mayor Kate wouldn’t let her son be embarrassed that way and came up behind him told him that he wasn’t going to let Melanie humiliate Andrew with some BS about an old husband. Andrew said he was and then kissed Mel’s hand and walked away. Kate went off on Melanie in front of all the guests and said she had never met anyone so manipulative and so deceitful, and Kate was in politics. Melanie replied that she was just trying to be honest, and NYC Mayor Kate responded she wasn’t going to allow the future President of the United States (her New York son) to be dumped at the altar by some psycho Daisy Mae in Alabama. Kate called Melanie a bit** and told her to go after Andrew and fix it. Pearl jumped in and told Kate there was no need for name-calling and that Melanie spoke her piece and that was all there was to it. Mayor Kate told Pearl to go back to her double-wide and fry something, so Melanie punched the mayor in the face and told her that nobody talked to her mama like that. Earl held onto his wife and daughter and praised the Lord that the South rose again, and then it started pouring rain so everybody ran off and as they did so, Melanie told everyone that if they were friends of the bride she was going to get her groom (Jake) and they would have a reception. All this…as the reverend was in the background holding a Bible in the rain. In her wedding dress, Melanie found Jake’s campsite with Bryant in the truck and Jake out on the beach area putting up his tent in the thunderstorm. She walked toward him and told her cowboy that he owed her a dance. Jake complimented Melanie on her dress and asked her where her husband was, and she replied that she was looking at him because they were still legally hitched. Melanie told Jake that he was the first boy she ever kissed and she wanted him to be the last and then they repeated the scene that happened when Melanie was ten years old but the opposite with now Jake asking Melanie why she wanted to be married to him anyhow, and Mel replying so she could kiss him any time she wanted and then the two love birds kissed in the pouring rain. Sheriff Wade showed up at that moment and stopped the kissing to say that he was there to bring Melanie in because she ran out on a perfectly good cake. As the cake was being set up in Stella’s bar, Clinton Taylor took the female bride and male groom off the top of the cake then and gay Bobby Ray replaced the cake topper with one red male and one blue male Rock’ Em Sock’ Em robot figurines. Sheriff Wade showed up and announced that Melanie and Jake finally made it to their reception and introduced them as Mrs. and Mr. Jake Perry, and the happy couple was handcuffed together. Sheriff Wade took the handcuffs off the Jake and Melanie and Bobby Ray said they might want to keep those for the honeymoon as he stood next to Frederick and then the two men realized they were both gay as laughed together merrily about the joke. The movie ended when Stella put a slow song on at Mel’s request, “Sweet Home Alabama,” and the couple finally had their slow wedding dance together with everyone telling Bryant to shut up because he was barking. The bride and groom didn’t dance though but made out on the dance floor as the cat with the scorched tail ate the white roses on the white wedding cake.
This movie had a $30 million budget and grossed over $180 million at the box office.